Will Harvest Ever End?
A Rondeau
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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Costales"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  23 total reviews 
Comment by
Lady Waukesha
 
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Uh-oh...this is a VERY interesting development. Another good chapter. This is such a good story. You keep the reader engaged every step of the way. No suggestions.


 Comment Written 06-Apr-2008



reply by the author on 06-Apr-2008
    Whatever you do, Tracy, don't feel like you have to hurry and read. These chapters will be up for viewing for who know how long? Do it only on an if/when you feel like it basis!

    XOXO

    Marjorie
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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The length of this chapter is just fine, M. Sometimes, other writers make the chapters way too short. A reader who's involved with the posting of a book should hardly even notice the length of each chapter...too involved with the action.

I liked the interrogation of this chapter...very believable.

Indy :>)


 Comment Written 21-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 21-Nov-2007
    Great! That's terrific.

    Thank you, Indy.

    Marjorie
Comment by
2007 Novelist Of The Year
1archangel
 
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ooops...read this out of order...but still enjoyed it...thumbs up as usual...this is free of spag and full of reading pleasure...appreciate being able to share...catch ya in four days


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2007
    LOL Have a nice four days, Ronnie!

    Thanks!

    Marjorie
Comment by
davidray
 
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Very good dialgue exchanges in this scenario, Marjorie. I've never been interrogated before but I can see this type of thing unfold. HAd me paying attention to it all. a couple things I wanted to mention:

-On Wednesday, Ray Schiller sat for the first time in the interrogation room of a Minneapolis police station. (Isit just me or does this read like he's sitting for the first time? How about: 'On Wednesday, for the first time, Ray Schiller sat in the interrogation room of a ...' Oh, heck, maybe I'm just babbling on here!)

-I begged her to make a clean break with him and to marry me.? (from him)
Thanks for sharing.Keep up the good work!
David


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2007
    I'll be darned! Yes, it does sound "off". That's a tricky one. I've tried different wordings in my head and finally came up with: On Wednesday, for the first time, Ray Schiller sat in the interrogation room of a Minneapolis police station.

    Whatd'ya think? The other's been fixed.

    Thank you, David!

    Marjorie
Comment by
catydid52
 
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A very good read, the story flows along wonderfully as it continues to develop!

You seem to have a good grasp of police interrogation procedures. Is this research that you did for the story?

Good job, keep up the good work! I look forward to the next chapter, Rebound.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2007
    I did do some research, then got some help from a retired police detective. Even so, I worry that I may have misinterpreted here or there. I hope not!

    Thanks, Catydid!

    Marjorie
Comment by
TomandOma
 
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Marjorie, You are getting better and better at natural sounding conversations, and keeping individuals recognizable for their own personality.

Don't worry about the length of your chapters. They are never excessively long, and with all the activity and drama, I think it would actually be annoying to chop this up in smaller chapters. You're on a roll and just keep those cards and letters coming!

I have no nits to report; this seems to be well edited.

All the best, Doris


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 17-Nov-2007
    Woohoo! Doris, thank you so much.

    Marjorie
Comment by
sarahhitch
 
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Enjoying it I can't wait to read more and find out where this is all going to. I think you did a great job with this chapter and I enjoyed reading it..


Sarah.


 Comment Written 16-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 16-Nov-2007
    Thank you, Sarah!

    Marjorie

reply by sarahhitch on 16-Nov-2007
    Yay, I really am enjoying the read so far.

    Sarah.
Comment by
Pit Bull Mom
 
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I got no feel from the way this was written that he did it. No way. He genuinely seemed to care about Valerie. Now, if it was Paul that turned up dead .... that I could definitely believe. The language was genuine and easy to follow. No confusing gaps, etc. And no real nits or SPAG noted, although I did have two comments for you:

clean breast of it. (I thought at first this should have been a clean break, but I see you used that later in the chapter. What, exactly does a clean breast of it mean? The same thing? It's not a saying I've ever heard, at least not here in the South.


returned a second time (should this be a third time? Technically, as we know from the paragraph before this that it would have been his third time to go to the house, but only his second to actually see Valerie, so ... I just wondered if it should be reworded ...


Sorry I didn't get to this while still in L&K. I ended up having to leave before you posted it the other day.


Hugs,

Heather


 Comment Written 16-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 16-Nov-2007
    Whoa! I didn't know that wasn't a common expression. It means to confess--to purge yourself, etc.. I did change the line so it won't confuse anyone. She wanted to "get everything out in the open".

    And yes, it should have read "third time". I had it in one spot and messed up in another. I don't know what I'd do without you, Heather!

    Thanks big bunches!

    Marjorie
Comment by
mslink1
 
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I see nothing to change. I don't believe he is the killer --- he's a wee bit obvious, as is Paul, which I do not believe did it either. I'll be making my guess later in the story--mah, hahaha Mary


 Comment Written 16-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 16-Nov-2007
    Good plan, Mary! Stick to that.

    Marjorie

reply by mslink1 on 16-Nov-2007
    I hate that you have all the answers, Marjorie, while I'm biting my nails. Bet you wish I never started reading this one:) Too late, though. Mary

reply by the author on 16-Nov-2007
    Get even! Write your own mystery, then I'LL be the one biting my nails, Mary! LOL

reply by mslink1 on 16-Nov-2007
    Lolol, Ok, I will!!

    Thumb body broke my figurine--see you in a few years. After I investigate:)
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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With some book chapters I wish they were shorter, but you tend to hold my attention from beginning to end, and it doesn't matter the lengh of the chapter. You are very good at this and expect me here to the end, my friend. I look forward to each chapter
hugs
book


 Comment Written 16-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 16-Nov-2007
    I've been trying very hard to keep the chapters shorter. Sometimes, though, there's no place to make a break any sooner. I'll keep trying, Book.

    Thanks for hanging in there with me!

    Marjorie

reply by bookishfabler on 16-Nov-2007
    It doesn't matter how long or short, I understand that the story tells itself and you can't interupt the flow. Don't worry you are doing wonderful. Can't wait till the next chapter.
    Heidi
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