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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Found and Lost"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  23 total reviews 
Comment by
ddsaar
 
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Hi Marjorie,

It doesn't need any work. this is Grat stuff. I found I read this very quickly as it flows wonderfully so I went back and read it again just to make sure I hadn't missed anything - I hadn't.

the line - One referred to you as a bloody mess. You?ve heard the phrase, haven?t you? It?s a popular British term. Funny thing is, he isn?t British; your neighbor meant it literally - this is brilliant writing -keep it up

David


 Comment Written 21-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 21-Nov-2007
    Woohoo! Thank you kindly, David!

    Marjorie
Comment by
mslink1
 
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I think the story is moving along just fine. I cannot wait to see if Nick will drop the name, "Dana," in:) I believe gradually, if not sooner he will have too. Hmm, good chapter. Later. Mary


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    We shall see. Mwa-ha-ha.

    Thanks as always, Mary!

    Marjorie
Comment by
HealingMuse
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WOW Marjorie,

What an AMAZING write!

I could feel the tension in the air - NO - I could've cut it with a butter knife! :))))))))))))

Only one word "stuck" for me:

Ray shrugged nonchalantly in supposed acquiescence

How about feigning acquiescence? Would that work? It's the word "supposed" - it's just not a complete enough term to describe what was going on there...

Thank you so much for sharing!

I can't wait for the next chapter!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours - and please do WRITE ON,

Jan


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    I just changed it, Jan. Nick's not done yet. I'll probably release the next chapter by morning.

    Thanks so much for continuing to follow the story. I love your feedback! I look forward to it!

    Have a super Thanksgiving.

    Marjorie
Comment by
medisec
 
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Egad--doesn't look good for Nick ... but we know he didn't do it--he wasn't too careful though it seems. Dana did him in, didn't she? Conniving little B.... Method in her madness though. Well done, Marjorie. Great job and I didn't find but one suggestion for an edit:

cart-wheeled or is it cartwheeled.

Rae


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    LOL Believe it or not, Rae, I tried both those ways first. It really is cart wheeled. That's what my spell checker and dictionary both said. I was convinced it was one of the other two ways you mentioned. Ah, well ...

    I was going to put the next chapter out today, but I messed up by having posted my Christmas story. One chapter + one short story = 2 Whoops! Can't have three posted at a time. Darn. -- First thing in the morning!

    Rae, thank you!

    Marjorie

reply by medisec on 20-Nov-2007
    I just googled it and cartwheel comes up ... maybe it's either/or OR whatever! LOL. No problem.

    Rae

reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    I guess it's just one of those dumb things that crops up. You'd think they could come up with one spelling, wouldn't you? That's nuts!
Comment by
Pit Bull Mom
 
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Well, it sure sounds like he's being set up. I keep wondering if he would have gone through with it, had Valerie not already been dead when he got there. What a dummy for not getting rid of those shoes. Bloods going to be hard to explain though. Hmmm. I'm certainly wondering how this tangled mess is going to turn out.

I have nothing much to offer on this chapter at all. It was well written and smooth. I especially liked the part where he threw down his wallet. Very real.

Hugs,

Heather


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    What happened with the wallet is important in an upcoming chapter. hehe

    Again, I thank you so much! I'm grateful you make time to do this.

    Marjorie
Comment by
azbukivedi
 
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Nick doesn't deserve my pity, but I kinda feel bad for him. What a messed-up kid, fallen for the wrong woman. :(
I REALLY have no clue who did it. That's masterful!


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    I think a lot of people feel a little that way for him. NOBODY deserves what Dana's capable of.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Sara!

reply by azbukivedi on 20-Nov-2007
    And Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
Comment by
Dave M
 
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Marjorie,

This is an excellent chapter, well-written and fully capable of holding my interest. I found nothing to criticize.

Seems to me Nick's motorcycle never came out of Valerie Davis' driveway. As I recall, it was ditched in some bushes on the side of the road. Interesting...

Dave M


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    Oh, you're good! Exactly! It's the reason Nick is certain they're lying. Congratulations, Sherlock! LOL

    Thanks much, Dave!

    Marjorie
Comment by
nor84
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I reviewed this in lock and key, so I won't do so again. It was fine then, and I can see no SPAG and nothing to recommend. Well-written.


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    Thanks, Norma!
Comment by
CALLAHANMR
 
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This continues to read well. Once more I want to praise you authentic dialogue. These are belirvable characters.

I am still ready to read more.


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    What terrific comments to 'hear'!

    Thanks, CALLAHANMR ... VERY much!

    Marjorie
Comment by
hyway94
 
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Wow! They change the review. I do declare you are driving people mad with this story. Not me I've really gotten in to it, so your not going to fool me. A wise man said, listen to your wife she can't be wrong all the time.


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
    LOL Uh-huh. You're a hoot!

    Thanks, John!

    Marjorie
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