Will Harvest Ever End?
A Rondeau
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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "On the Loose"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  21 total reviews 
Comment by
catydid52
 
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At last a hint of what it could be...rabies.

That was my thought too...but if he has had his shot...

Very well written..you kept the suspense going..


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2007
    You're making good progress! I'm thrilled. Chapter 39 is now in Lock and key. You're catching up real fast. I really appreciate your support and encouragement, Catydid!

    Marjorie

reply by catydid52 on 05-Dec-2007
    Your welcome...I'm trying to keep up, so bear with me...lol
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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A gripping chapter, M!! What strange and bizarre ailment is consuming this little town? Filled with suspense and drama...now that Woody's kids are safe, we have to worry about the whole neighborhood!

Smiles,
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2007
    If it isn't one thing, it's another, right? LOL

    Thanks kindly, Indy!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Oatmeal
Oatmeal
 
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Marjorie D.,

This was a nice chapter. This must be the one right after the last one that I read because it has too much in common with the other one.

The story line flowed very well. The characters were realistic. The dialogs were smooth.

There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2007
    Thanks very much, Oatmeal.

    Marjorie
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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I'm giving you five because I know you will fix the edits. And the edits are probably from the editor. Line skips and seperations.

knob. "Good dog."
A new growl rumbled in Reggie?s throat. His head came up.(Skip a line after 'good dog'.)

the dog whirled in a
circle, moving no nearer to it. (Put this line together)

Through the panes of glass she searched for Reggie. She saw no sign of him.
(This paragrapgh you have too many "She's". Try making the last two sentenses one, by adding a comma and connecting with but.

She searched for Reggie, but saw no sign of him.

Don?t cry.
Reggie?s gone.?(bring this sentence together)

he?s had his shots. Never mind.
Take it easy, honey. I?m coming right home.? (bring this line together)


It's either the editor or maybe my computer. This happened before. The screen sometimes messes up.
Thanks for sharing. On to the next chapter.
hugs
book


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2007
    Your computer is okay, Book. It was the editor ... again. It really gets frustrating sometimes. Thanks for trusting me to fix the flaws. I did!

    Thanks loads, my friend!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Snuggle Bug
 
 
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Well what can I say...this is most definitly a five star rated piece and I applaud you.

................................................................................................................................

SB


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2007
    Thank, SB!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Pit Bull Mom
 
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Another great chapter. I kinda like sitting down and getting to read four or five chapters all at once.

Only one suggestion:

Betty clutched the broom handle in her trembling hands. (to eliminate "her" how about, Betty clutched (or gripped) the broom with trembling hands.) Just a suggestion.

Truckin on!

Hugs,

Heather



 Comment Written 27-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 27-Nov-2007
    Done!

    Keep on truckin', my friend. LOL

    Marjorie
Comment by
davidray
 
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Bloody marvellous,Marjorie.Bang on interaction,especially between Woody and his wife. I can so easily see that line of questioning coming from a man's mouth before realzing how he was sounding.
Just one thing:
-?Good boy, Reggie. Just let me open the door. Good dog.? She stretched to the side, her hand reaching for the knob.
(Since you have Betty teling Reggie to let her open the door, it might be good for her to reach for the knob BEFORE she says, 'Good dog,' in response. I think it reads a bit smoother in that order.)
Keep up the good work, Marjorie!! I'm with ya! :)


 Comment Written 27-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 27-Nov-2007
    The switch has been made, David.

    Woody's reaction was ill-considered, but his argument was perfectly logical. His solution would have made more sense, but people don't always think logically in a 'panic' situation. I loved using that in the chapter! I think it made both of them more believable.

    As always, thanks for your great review and your valuable help!

    Marjorie
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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This is one heck of a chapter, Marjorie. My heart almost stopped when Betty was facing Reggie aka Cujo. Now we have to worry about the other children in the neighborhood. Panic, mayhem, carnage, you've got it all going here. Wow!

Renie


 Comment Written 27-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 27-Nov-2007
    And it ain't over yet! LOL

    Thanks loads, Renie!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Buctar
 
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Marjorie:

Another good segment. I'm really anxious to see what is going on with the family pet.

A part of her said, ?Do it?-- (The em dash belongs inside the quotation mark. Recommend: A part of her said, ?Do it--")

She heard Gordy. ?Mommy ...? (When ending a sentence with hyphens, there should be a fourth ellipse and no space before the ellipses. Recommend: She heard Gordy. ?Mommy....? )

boys in her arms.?( )Everything?s all right (Need a space after arms." and Everything.)

Nice work. I enjoyed the read.

Bill



 Comment Written 27-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 27-Nov-2007
    I'm so glad you're sticking with me through this, Bill. Your help is really appreciated!

    Thanks very much!

    Marjorie
Comment by
HealingMuse
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Hi Marjorie,

Another squeaky-clean write here.

Quite an intriguing diversion from the main plot!

The husband's comments echoed my sentiments precisely - why turn a mad dog loose? Shrugs...

Thanks for sharing!

WRITE ON,

Jan


 Comment Written 27-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 27-Nov-2007
    Hahahahaha I hereby copy and paste something I included in a reply to another review.

    I remember seeing some show or other years back and one sequence stuck with me. A hospital patient was sent a bouquet of flowers. A bomb was planted inside the vase. Just as the bomb was about to go off, the man realized it was in there. He picked up the vase and raced to the window. The window wouldn't open. He set the vase down and struggled furiously to get the window up. It wouldn't budge! At the last possible moment, the solution finally dawned on him. He threw the vase through the glass! Sometimes the obvious answer is hard to grasp in a moment of crisis. I wonder how many people will read this and think, "Why of course! The idiot!" LOL

    Exactly! I just had to share that with you.

    Thanks, Jan!

    Marjorie
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