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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "On the Loose"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  21 total reviews 
Comment by
medisec
 
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Wow, what's going on with the animals in your story? Quite a suspense going on here in so many aspects. Well done, Marjorie. Great writing.

There are some ?formatting problems for some reason and here are some words that are cut off--seems to be that it's because the lines are too long for the page.

an(d) glassware
righ(t)
wa(s) already
al(l)

Rae


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 27-Nov-2007
    Wow! That's just plain weird, Rae. I just went back to take a look and there are some word like that on my page, too, but they're different words! Recently, I've seen a couple stories that have three and four words missing at the ends of sentences. You have to adjust the screen at the end of each line just to make sense of each sentence. Darn that formatting! I hope it gets fixed soon.

    Rae, thanks!

    Marjorie

Comment by
Sandollar
 
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Wow! I don't know what's going on with the dog but I know when you write the next chapter, it will be as interesting as this was. You did a wonderful job of portraying the mother's fear for her children's, as well as her own, safety. And I think she handled the situation well. Her husband irritates me because he is so typically male in his response. This is a good chapter in this series. Look forward to the rest.

I found no errors.


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    LOL I thought Woody's response would probably irritate some--those of us who've been on the other side at sometime!

    Thanks, Sandollar.

    Marjorie
Comment by
Dave M
 
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Marjorie,

This is an excellent chapter. I found no spags and have no suggestions.

Springer spaniels are not attack dogs. Somebody did something to Reggie and to the old farmer's bull, most likely somebody who lives in Widmer...

Dave M


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    You're right about springer spaniels. We've had four now, and you're more likely to get licked to death by one than attacked!

    Thanks much, Dave!

    Marjorie
Comment by
azbukivedi
 
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I love those names - Woody, Neil. So not big-city. :)
Poor dog. I do want to know what happened to him.


Dropping it, he stood, panting from exertion. The freckled face turned in her direction, his brown eyes fixed on her. - freckled face? dogs???


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    Springers have spotted coats--sometimes spotted faces. I equated it with freckles.

    Thank you, Sara!

    Marjorie
Comment by
CALLAHANMR
 
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Another home run. Reggie is a great distraction fro the main story line,I like the way you build the tension.

Reggie still sounds like Cujo.


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    Poor Reggie! And he's really such a sweet dog! You'll find out what happens to him later.

    Thank you!

    Marjorie
Comment by
sarahhitch
 
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You can't end the chapter like that....Noooo

Now my thoughts are thinking maybe I was right about the animals. Now the question I need to answer is how are the animals being changed and by what, or who????

Mmm, I will have to wait for the next chapter.

Sarah.


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    LOL Very clever thinking, Sarah! Good job.

    Thanks.

    Marjorie

reply by sarahhitch on 27-Nov-2007
    LOL, I will have to wait and see...

    Sarah.
Comment by
nor84
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  Rank:  331
 
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I reviewed this in lock and key, so it will not do an in-depth review at this point. It continues to be a good story, and the introduction of the dog and its problems was a very good idea. Excellent work.


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    Wunderbar, Norma! Thank you.

    Marjorie
Comment by
mslink1
 
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Wow, Marjorie, you did a splendid job on the dog scenes. Looking back, everything Woody said is true--about what she should have done, but-----who thinks straight when they are scared.
Thanks for getting me out of the pantry. Mary


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    LOL You've very welcome, Mary. How funny!

    Thanks for the great review and the laugh, too.

    Marjorie
Comment by
hyway94
 
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Now I seem to be getting it, this has something to do with Hank's bull. What made him go crazy has happen to Reggie. You know what I think this has something to do with Valerie.
It's not going to be what people think it is it's going to come out some utter way. Good work If I'm right, you have done a good job.


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    You know I can't tell you, of course, John. (wink wink) LOL I'm really loving everyone's thought processes on this mystery.

    Thanks much!

    Marjorie
Comment by
ddsaar
 
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Hi Marjorie another exciting and well written chapter.

I have a thought, just s alittle one, but after all she has been through with the dog, she may be a lillte more high strung than you are making her appear. In your writing she is talking to woody and she seems pretty calm (apart from the tears).
when Woody says couldnt you have put him in the garage etc, how about having her losing it and answering something like.
"Are you crazy?" she screamed down the phone at Woody, "Do you think he was just sitting there waiting for a walk, he was trying to tear my bloody throat out!
She has been through a lot and the safety of her sons was paramount....
Its justa thought.

David

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    Good morning, David.

    I'll give that some thought but, at the moment anyway, I'm pretty satisfied that, between having the shakes and breaking out in tears repeatedly, she's pretty emotional already. Plus, I can't really have her making a claim like that. Reggie never directly attacked any of them. I'll give it some more thought though.

    The next chapter, Ray comes back to town.

    Thanks, David!

    Marjorie


reply by ddsaar on 26-Nov-2007
    Yes I know Reggie never went for her throat ..........but sometimes ladies to tend to ....get htings wrong (Who said that?).


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2007
    LOL I'll keep that between you and me!
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