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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Just a Hunch"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  28 total reviews 
Comment by
catydid52
 
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Another great read, and with Michael Sumner's death now, the calamine lotion found in the house makes one think that he had also the itchy thingy...


 Comment Written 09-Jan-2008


Comment by
Minataur
 
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Calamine lotion??? Don't tell me, the guy died of an overdose of lotion on his poison ivy just before sucking in carbon monoxide - right? Hey, I'm just trying to look ahead. Bye.

Hugs,

Maggie


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2008


Comment by
sarahhitch
 
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Hi Marjorie, what a mystery, when will this end...lol....

I have to say you keep us on the edge of our seat. I really enjoyed this chapter and look forward to more in the future.

Sarah.


 Comment Written 16-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 16-Dec-2007
    It sounds like a lot of chapters, but most of the book chapters were broken into two segments in order to keep the length more reader-friendly here on FanStory.

    Have a terrific day for yourself, Sarah!

    Marjorie

reply by sarahhitch on 16-Dec-2007
    I hear that, readers will only read something which isn't to long.

    I think we are all guilty of that...lol...Thanks for sharing.

    Sarah.
Comment by
2007 & 2008 Short Work Writer Of The Year
Janilou
Level 2 Pro
Jan Anderegg
Author of Julu
 
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Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  20
Review Stars
  Rank:  167
 
Excellent
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You write such vivid chapters! Although I haven't been following the entire book, this is an intriguing chapter! Your descriptions are excellent. I could "see" it all unfolding before my reading eyes. No errors noted so I won't be much help that way!
Great work!
Jan


 Comment Written 14-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 14-Dec-2007
    I'm pleased to have you catch even a chapter, Jan. The more feedback the better and it's always a pleasure hearing from you!

    Many thanks, Jan!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Chloe
 
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Another perfect chapter. I do wish you'd get on with it. Okay, I will buy this when it arrives on Amazon as well as the sequel. Your writing gets me all revved up. Have I thanked you for that? Chloe


 Comment Written 13-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2007
    Yes, you have, Chloe. I'm sure I've thank YOU. If not, I should be shot! LOL

    Thanks very, very much! You're terrific.

    Marjorie
Comment by
davidray
 
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Real good going, MArjorie. Your pace is appealing, the dialogue quite believable, and following the story along ... if I wasn't drowsy from being awakened by the cats still ... I'd be more in suspense. Am I making sense? You get my drift, I think. There's nothin' wrong here. Oh, wait ...
One little nit:
-?The only place we haven't set foot in yet is the garage? (period)
Mush on .... forward! :)


 Comment Written 13-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2007
    I'm mushing as fast as I can, David! Can't you hear me panting?

    Thanks very much! (Now go get some sleep.)

    Marjorie
Comment by
Morning Glory
 
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You write exceptionally well. I find no mistakes in it. It is fast
paced and holds reader attention for sure. I didn't read the previous chapter but this chapter worked well alone. I enjoyed
reading and helping the boys look for Michael summer.
Excellent writing. ___Morning Glory


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2007
    Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review this chapter, Morning Glory. Your kind comments are greatly appreciated. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance!

    Marjorie
Comment by
KMBowman
 
 
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The story is interesting, and I'm fond of the genre. You might consider adding a touch of vivid and detailed description to replace some of the generic in the passage here. (For example, the contents of the trash can.) I feel the timing seems a bit off on occasion, such as when Ray tells Woody to go to the front after breaking in through the window. We see him going through the house and then Woody appears. At what point did Woody get in from the front? I like the story and will read more.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2007
    I'm so glad the chapter captured your interest. Your review and feedback are appreciated, KB.

    Thank you!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Vallachi
 
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Really well written and full of suspense. You had me going for awhile.

great structure and flow to it and I liked the conversation going on between the two people


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2007
    It's nice to hear you enjoyed the chapter, Vallachi. Thank you so much for your review and valued comments.

    Marjorie
Comment by
Oatmeal
Oatmeal
 
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Marjorie,

This chapter made for a nice read. The story line is solid. The characters are likable. The descriptions and dialog are wonderful.

I did spot one thing although it is very minor-

?Take it easy, Ray. People die (every day).? Woody motioned for

**everyday

Everything else was great.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 11-Dec-2007
    Hi Oatmeal!

    I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter.

    In this case, every day should be two words. Everyday is an adjective used for things like everyday clothes, everyday food, etcetera. Thanks for mentioning it, though. I'd rather check everything out rather than let something wrong slide by.

    Thanks very much, Oatmeal!

    Marjorie
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