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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Interrogation"
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An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN
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22 total reviews
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
 Rank: 38 | Author Rating For Short Works
 Rank: 17 | Review Stars
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Hi Marjorie,
WOW! A terrific write. As I read this chapter, I could feel the tension building - in a very real way.
Again, not a single word to suggest improving upon.
You are really an amazingly gifted wordcrafter, my friend! :) (Yes, I know "wordcrafter" isn't a word; Muse sticks tongue out at dictionary, refusing to hyphenate the word. HA HA HA.)
One interesting irony you point up:
"The standards of conduct expected of police officers are so high that they fall under greater scrutiny than the general population."
Wouldn't it be nice ***IF*** this were true? (Not a personal issue for me, but I could tell you absolute horror stories of domestic violence - even 1 officer who shot up the house - I saw 29 bullet holes (no intruder, just angry with wife) and NOTHING was done to him. Statistically, VERY typical.) While we're holding police accountable for their actions (what a concept - lol), how's about liars - ahem - er - lawyers and politicians to boot?
Now that we've resolved all the problems patriarchy has created, we can dust off our hands while the planet heaves a sigh of relief, and get on with the next chapter. lol...
Thanks for sharing!
WRITE ON,
Jan
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Comment Written 12-Feb-2008 |
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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2008
Ditto! (I'm a woman of few words ... just for the moment, Jan.)
Thanks for your great review. I'm thrilled you enjoyed the chapter so much!
Marjorie
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Excellent, Marjory! You have created two internal affairs guys that we can hate with gusto. For a moment - a misguided moment - I had some hopes for the older man, but I suppose internal affairs has to be conducted by skeptical persons, so nice job with your depiction of the hated IA men.
I have only one measly suggestion for tightening the opening paragraph:
The next day, Woody sat at his desk trying to concentrate on the routine paperwork
I think 'The next day' is not a good opening phrase, because the reader wants to be in the present. I think you can jump right in with 'Woody sat at his desk,' because you immediately explain that he slept poorly, which indicates the lapse of time.
~~~
I'm still rating this a five for the excellent character presentation and suspense, and the still unsolved puzzle of the hammer and what the victim was doing in that basement. Hope it was something nefarious.
Excellent! I'll see you next chapter.
Doris
Oh, forgot to mention in the last chapter: From the first, I had a feeling that Ray and his wife would eventually get straightened out; that was hinted at by Ray's stubborn faithfulness to his wife.
Excellent writing, Marjory
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Comment Written 04-Feb-2008 |
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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2008
Your suggestion is right on the money, Doris. I'll fix that right away.
Ray and Gail's relationship isn't resolved until the end of the sequel to this novel. It weaves its way through Ray's next investigation, but plays a large part in that completed follow-up novel.
Thanks so much, Doris!
Marjorie
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Hi, Marjorie.
I really enjoyed this chapter. Plenty of 'heat' and a great pace to it. As usual, your dialogue is natural and realistic.
I've missed a few chapters, but this one holds strong on its own.
Great read. I love the emotion you give through your writing.
I found nothing that needs changing.
Lil. ;-)
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Comment Written 03-Feb-2008 |
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
I know you don't normally read novels, Lil. (I think you mentioned that in one of your forum posts.) That's all the more reason I truly appreciate that you took the time to read this chapter. Thanks very much for your terrific review. You've made my morning!
Marjorie
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reply by LillySmith on 03-Feb-2008
I love to read novels, I just find it hard to read them all the way through. I tend to lose track of them, or just can't find the time. If I had a time machine, I could just pause myself in there, and keep up to date with everything, but then, I would probably forget to get out! LOL!
Lil. ;-)
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
LOL I think you've got the makings of a story there, Lil!
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