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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "Concerns"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  21 total reviews 
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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  Rank:  197
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Wow....you're gonna twist and turn us right up to the very end, huh? Good ... I love it!! With each chapter, the story gets better, M.

Smiles,
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
    I sure hope the same is true for the last couple chapters, Indy! We're sooooo close.

    Thanks very much! (Have to hurry off to work. Argh!)

    Marjorie
Comment by
Buctar
 
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Marjorie:

The intrigue just gets deeper and deeper. Good tension and suspense.

A couple of very small observations.

to believe it?s a coverup?? (I think cover-up is hyphenated.)

He answered with equal shares of guilt and excitement. (This is "telling." You might consider showing instead.)

Woody's face registered surprise. (Same! Maybe have his eyebrows arch to show surprise.)

agreed to drop( )( )that (Remove the extra space.)

The phone on WOODY's desk rang. WOODY ended the brief (Recommend: The phone on Woody?s desk rang and HE ended the brief )


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
    Right on every count, Bill. I've made the corrections to my mess-ups. Your help is appreciated more than you know!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Pit Bull Mom
 
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I still can't believe he's actually leaving. I mean, I see why he wants/needs to, but I'm not sure he will actually leave in the end. After all is said and done, he'll have an awfully strong connection to that little town. Then again, he may need to leave in order to shut to door on all that's happened there AND it sets it up for a second book.

Hugs.

Heather


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    You've got it right again, Heather. My completed sequel begins with Ray having just arrived in Minneapolis. He's playing "catch up" on the Paul Davis case. His relationship with Gail is dealt with in the sequel as well.

    Thanks, Heather. (I hope everything's are going well now.)

    XO

    Marjorie
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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If you follow the book and the character, I doubted that he killed himself. He's too arogant and thinks to much of himself. You presented that quite well, by the way..

He tucked his hands in his pockets. ?You said there were a couple things. Care to share the other??
(This may be nit picking, but when did he stand up? putting his hands in pockets is awkward sitting down.)

I can't wait to read on further.
hugs
book


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    When did he stand up? About twenty seconds ago, Book. LOL I went back and fixed that. Thanks for that and your terrific review, too, of course.

    Marjorie
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Excellent chapter, Marjorie. I sure hope Woody's son doesn't have 'the itch.' That would be terrible. Will we still get to follow Ray? I've got goose bumps over this one and a bad feeling. Hope I'm wrong. You really know how to put the mysteries together, my friend.

Renie


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    The completed sequel begins with Ray having just arrived in Minneapolis. He's busy playing "catch up" on the Paul Davis case. So, the answer is a resounding "yes", Renie. Ray is stage center!

    Thanks soooo much! I'm off to post the next chapter into Lock and Key--sometime tonight.

    XO

    Marjorie
Comment by
davidray
 
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Another superb section, Marjorie.Interactions are beautiful. The descriptions and pauses areplaced perfeclty. not much to gripe about here!
One thingI wanted to shoot by you:

-cross one leg over a knee (I don't know if there's another way of explaining this postion,but i recognize you've used it (I believe) every time Ray has rested his legover his knee. Just some cud for you to chew on.Not that important, really, in the great scheme of things)

Well done. Continued success. The plot thickens ....
Later and hugs, David


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    Okay, David. I've fixed it. It's funny I didn't realized I had him doing that so often. Aargh!

    Thanks much!

    Marjorie

reply by davidray on 20-Feb-2008
    What did you fix it with? Or are you gonna make me read the entire section again? :)

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    I kept it simple and removed his legs from the line altogether.

    ??No. I could use a break.?? He watched Ray close the door and take a seat. ??You made the front page.??

    What do you think? A case of less is more ... I hope?

reply by davidray on 20-Feb-2008
    I agree with your decision. I like it, Marjorie. :)
Comment by
HealingMuse
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Hi Marjorie,

A 6er has been a long time coming - and I just happen to have one tonight. EACH of your chapters has been MORE than deserving, quite honestly.

NICE WRITE!

And I LOVE the way you're picking up that thread of the itching issue...

HA HA - I didn't really thing the narcissistic, patriarchal jerk would off himself either...

HUGS,

Jan
PS - Now that I've had my "nightcap" of Marjorie's writing... ZZZZZZZZ... (G)


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    I'm excited and thrilled, Jan! A sixer! Thank you very, very much.

    It pleases me so much each time someone else says they found it hard to believe Paul Davis would kill himself. It has to mean I did something right for people to "know" him as well as I do.

    Muchas gracias, Jan!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Minataur
 
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That Ray can't get finished with this case even if he leaves town! Marjorie, I can say without a doubt, you write the kind of story I love. If it was in the book stores, I'd buy it in a minute! It grabs hold and won't let go! Your characters take over until it ceases to be a story and the reader just knows it's real life happening before her eyes! Awesome!

Hugs,

Maggie


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2008
    You just raised my heart rate, Maggie! You review would be music to ANY writer's ears. To mine, they're a symphony.

    A million thanks ... at least!

    Marjorie
Comment by
catydid52
 
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Wow! The plot thickens as Ray is leaving the department. Is something starting with Woody's son....oooohh! Your story is more spellbinding with more twists on a roller coaster ride.

Great writing...I'm still glued to my monitor waiting for the next chapter....lol


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
    I planned to get the next chapter into Lock and Key tonight, but came home so tired, it didn't quite make it there. Tomorrow for sure and then not long until I post it.

    Many thanks, Catydid!

    Marjorie
Comment by
LillySmith
 
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Great chapter! ** pats herself on back ** LOL!
Full of drama and excitement.
I sure hope Gordy's alright.
Not much to nit, as it's written so well. Just a couple of things that stopped me as I read. Might be personal preference though?

?You said there were a couple [of] things. : reads smoother with "of"

?He?s playing it close to (the)[his] chest, but : ?

Can't wait for the next instalment.

Lil. ;-)





 Comment Written 19-Feb-2008



reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
    Thanks for your help and for your encouragement, too, Lil! I'll post the next chapter ASAP.

    Marjorie
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