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Reviews from
Between What's Black and White


The Gray

  26 total reviews 
Comment by
Bryana
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
I'm so sad David. You're leaving, I was hoping you would
makes FS your permanent residence. Sorry I didn't have a
daughter for you.
Will you join another site? If so I would like to go and possibly read your work. I have many of your poems in bookcase. Are you going to publish a poetry book? Please let me know. You have my e-mail address.

Your poem was really funny. I'm glad I haven't faced road rage yet.
I see Gerry read your poem. I told her how much I admired you as a poet.

I hope you feel better and are successful in anything you do.

Hugs my friend, Ana


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Hi Bryana. I'll give you a better idea of my plans by email, but I'll still be writing and publishing. Thank you so much, and thank you for sending Gerry my way. David
Comment by
earthlybeing
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
You did the right thing and are the bigger man. This road rage is becoming and issues and leading to some deadly situations. Well written. Sorry to hear you are leaving the site. Best to luck to you and your new adventures. Thanks, Jeanette


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, earthlybeing.
Comment by
darkgreennights
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
That was excellent. I laughed out loud. it was so well written that I could see the entire thing, furthermore a happy ending, what kind of entitled asshole drives a V8 these days anyway?


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thakn you very much, dgn. Yeah, you're right. With gas prices the way they are, he deserved to get pummeled.
Comment by
GerryMacNeil
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Well, David, I have read this hilarious poem. alerted by one of Ana's poems and her verdict that you are a shining star fo this site. REALLY and SINCERELY sorry that I did not make connections with your poetry until you are ready to leave! So, for the time remaining, I will put myself of your list of fans so I do not miss any pieces remaining! Thanks for writing this stunning anglo-saxon bit! GerryMacNeil


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thank you so much, Gerry, for your kind words. Feel free to peruse my port if you'd like to read more, but there will only be one more to post (yet unwritten) before I depart. I sincerely appreciate your time and comments.
Comment by
AidanConnors
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Brilliant poem as always. An offbeat story, the sort you do so well combined with an unusual but interesting rhyming scheme. First rate all round.

btw if you are interested you can easily fix the line 4/5 problem - edit it in the advanced editor and the click on the 'source' button above the poem, then type in
between the two characters you want the line between i.e " and A, this will force a line break.

Sad to see you are on your way out. You have always been one that so many defer to for imagery and skill. Your talent will be sorely missed here.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Aiden-
    I really appreciate the sixer, and thank you for the advice on Eddie. Be well.

    David
Comment by
wierdgrace
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
First your poem is excellent as always, and I have had the same problem with lines acting up. The structure is wonderful with a easy flow, image strong, no revisions and great emotions. but you know all this. I understand why you would move on, but you will be missed. I am new and found I spend enough posting to print my book. but I love reading the poems. they are so enjoyable. Hope to hear from you again soon. grace


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, grace. Best of luck to you. David
Comment by
amada
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  78
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  57
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  307
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
This is a great piece of work because it has true and raw emotions on us mere humans, ready to react to provocations. I see emotion, action and the way a brain was reacting. Way to go.



 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you, amada.
Comment by
milushka
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
But Marillion, you've been leaving forever, I am not taking your threat seriously, no, I am not. Love your red road rage sonnet, all of it is familiar, I've seen it. (here, we're allowed to make a right turn on red)
Hope, your health is improving; been there just a while ago.
All the best.
Love,
Mila


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Mila. No, this time I'll be gone. There are richer veins to mine, and as much as I care for FS, it is the sludge that will keep a poet from progressing.
Comment by
tony bronk
Premier Author
tony bronk
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
iT IS SAD TO SEE YOU LEAVING. i WISH YOU THE VERY BEST IN ALL ENDEAVORS AND i WILL MISS YOUR SPECIAL TOUCH ABOUT NATURE. TAKE CARE TONY


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, tony. Be well, and best of luck. David
Comment by
honeytree
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Yes the fast traffic and who is behind the steering wheel can and has to stop the car on red.

Not for some younger drivers they like to drive through red lights until they are caught dead or alive.

I particularly like the following words

"the car, the carefully disheveled hair,
nice clothes?disheveled, too?of name-brand stock,
the attitude of some entitled heir,
and an enraged display of real belief
that his Mercedes and a glove-boxed Glock
should be enough to spare him traffic grief."

"Should glock be? clock."

Otherwise the writing here was great
I hope all goes well

Honeytree.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you, honeytree. A Glock is a handgun, though, so that was actually correct.
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