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Reviews from
Between What's Black and White


The Gray

  26 total reviews 
Comment by
jadapenn
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Hi Marillion,

First of your work to come my way. I liked this piece - liked it very much. What gives some the right of way? You told us most of the reasons.
It was a lovely work, full of emotion, action and even passion. I'd have popped his jaw.

Well done.

Regards -


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you, Jada. There was a time I'd have done more than popped his jaw. Thank God I made it to 42 without being incarcerated.
Comment by
PoesyPoet
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
As one of thee best writers here at Fan Story, I am sorry to see you go. There is much we/I could have learned from you!

This was too real and written beautiful, Marillion. I learned to walk/drive away from a traffic fight when I was followed and confronted by an entire angry family including the pregnant, hooligan wife.

Best of luck in everything you do. I would like to follow your work and will email you my email in a PM.
You will be missed.
Celeste


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Celeste. I'll be sure to keep in touch with you, and thank you for your PM.

    David
Comment by
Norbanus
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
'Mornin' David,

It seems to me, you told this story well.
From time to time we've seen him. (or his brother)
and thought it best to leave. (one way or t'other'
Far best to say 'Goodbye' than 'Go to Hell'.

Norbanus


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you, Fred. A couple of years ago, I might've said the latter, but age and wisdom have righted me on the best way to make an exit. I appreciate you, my friend. David
Comment by
2008 Poet Of The Year
Judian James
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Oh, we've just started to connect David and I enjoy your posts tremendously. I also feel you're one of the poets I have definitely learned from, so thank you for that. This is an excellent piece. You have told a story about something so common these days and you've made it a fascinating, poetic study. Not easy to accomplish, but the superb poet in you cannot be denied. well done

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 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Judian. I'm sorry I couldn't have reciprocated more in reviewing your work. Please stay in touch.

reply by Judian James on 28-Aug-2008
    Through PM's?? I understand about time and never enough of it. Sorry to hear you've had health issues however.

reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Hi Judian. Yes, just send me your email address through Private Message, and I'll log it into my address book on gmail.
Comment by
Wordsnmusic
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
A very different style. I much enjoyed reading this one, a breath of fresh air. I being a very green writer love reviewing other styles, as each one gives the poem a different life.

Awesome
Amber

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 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Amber.
Comment by
24chas
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
What a great modern and formal poem, bro. I'm glad you chose the narrow path, but I also know the satisfaction that crushing his windpipe would have afforded. Have a sixer for your restraint.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
    Thanks, bro. As always, much appreciated.
Comment by
iansplanet
 
 
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Rating of Chapter 6 -
A Shadow Speaks
childish. being able to count syllables and to rhyme simple words does not make a good poem. where are the concrete images, the intriguging words, all the stuff of poetry that makes one want to read a poem, not gag over it? unbelieveable someone would publish a book filled with this type material.

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 Comment Written 15-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2008
    Yes, and I'm quite certain it's not something you'd be able to do. What's "intriguging" mean? Is that one of the non-simple words you'd like to see rhymed? It's been awhile since I've had one of these love notes. Thanks for the attention, Ian. This poem was written as a companion piece to an etching, and while it's not one of my favorites, by far, I'm sure not everybody shares in your opinion. Yeah, free verse has really catipulted poetry to the forefront.
Comment by
joelh605
Level 2 Pro
I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Rating of Chapter 26 -
Heartwork
Oh do I remember those days! - mid to late thirties for me, now long long ago. Loved the ride back in time!

Best to you, and dang me for not seeing this when the points-and-pence were attached <:-p

Gil


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2008



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
    Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate it.
Comment by
L K Pinaire
 
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Rating of Chapter 26 -
Heartwork
As I read you poem, your ending came to my mind almost as I read it. So many of us spend so much of our lives doing nothing, but making money to pay the bills, that so much of us becomes a waste. Nice poem. Truer that true.

Good writing,

Larry


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2008



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
    Thank you, Larry.
Comment by
KalleeMerra
 
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Rating of Chapter 26 -
Heartwork
there are days when life is nothing but a treadmill of existential doubt. we absorb the "truths" of culture and march on toward oblivion.


 Comment Written 22-Jun-2008



reply by the author on 22-Jun-2008
    Thank you, Kallee.
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