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Reviews from
Dark Tales


Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Haunted Glade"

A collection of short tales of the supernatural

  120 total reviews 
Comment by
ms. cardshark
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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NIce! Good description of the setting. Fog makes everything so spooky, even the cornfield across from my house. Very well done, loved the ending.
MM


 Comment Written 13-Nov-2009



reply by the author on 13-Nov-2009
    Glad you liked that one. I had fun writing it. Thanks, MM, for taking a look at something paying two cents.

reply by ms. cardshark on 13-Nov-2009
    Oh, you gave me such a helpful review, that I wanted to read some of your work. I'm kind of new to the site, and I like getting to know people by reading some of their writing. I don't pay a lot of attention to what they pay. I tend to read things that appeal to me.
    MM

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2009
    I sent you a reply, but I don't know if you got it because the screen went blank. If you like paranormal romances, The Laird of Castle Dun is probably the best I've done. Feel free to read it, and you might want to bookcase the book that has grammar in the title. It's mostly about writing.
Comment by
wordcrafter
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Using a concise style, this well-written story accomplished several things: an intriguing scenario, realistic dialogue, an appropriately creepy mood and an interesting characterization. The reader would not normally associate an ordinary German-speaking friend with an emotional reaction to statuary. Furthermore, he would not expect that character to expose himself to the possibility of mockery once his metaphysical passion was revealed.

The story also leaves us mystified: What magic did the statue hold? Or was it ever really a statue? Was Rudi's obsession so great that his mind created an otherworldly experience? The writer left his audience with just enough of a conundrum that the story lingered in the mind long after the story's finale.


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 22-Apr-2009
    What a great review! Thanks, tlang. It's the first open-ended story I've ever written, and for some people an open end doesn't work. I certainly appreciate the time you took to read and review this.
Comment by
Signaler
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Nora, Dog gone it, you have dragged me into this story and now I am stuck here, waiting. Where did Rudi go? Oh you have to finish this one after the contest. Good Luck My Friend.

Keep Your Angel On Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Hi, there! Well, most women just made up a romantic ending. It's the men who want to know what happened to Rudi. Good to hear from you!
Comment by
DeboraDyess
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  136
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  94
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  14
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  95
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Cool .. and eerie. I thought, though that Dianna was the goddess of the moon. Could be wrong, of course, because it's been a LONG time since I did the reading. I was half-expecting them to find a second statue; one of a young man that looked like Rudi, but I guess that'd be too expected. Good tale. Best of luck in the contest, Deb


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Hi, Deb. Somebody told me when they reviewed that Diana wasn't a good choice. She turned a lover into a stag, and hunted him with hounds, who tore him apart. Poor Rudi... Even though this was heavily promoted, I've had none of those "fluff fives." Everybody who reviewed commented on the story, and that's great. Thanks for taking a look.
Comment by
Terror2s
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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Well written. I didn't notice any errors.However, there were areas where you could make your language even tighter and more concise. Here are some suggestions to take or not. In flash you want to minimize as many words as you can.
"Perhaps two kilometers, (Can omit "not more" Perhaps already connotates an approximation) Paragraph 7 could probably be tighter and more concise. I'm not sure you need the last sentence in par. 11 since you've already let the reader know you're unhappy about following and have cursed in a prior paragraph.
You showed us his disappointment so you don't have to tell us also."disappointment evident in every line of his young face."
Very enjoyable piece. (I had to read this one a couple times to figure out what I'd omit. Just wondering, did you have to edit out words before you posted?)
Terror


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Didn't have to edit words, because I usually write fairly tight. I forgot the contest, and realized 2 hours before the deadline that I probably wouldn't make it. Then, I thought about the $80 pot and blasted this out, concept to finish, in about 2 hours. Thanks for the tips. I'm a natural for flash, I think, because my style, as I said, is "tight." Appreciate the review, Terror2s
Comment by
IndianaIrish
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  578
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Nor! Congratulations on winning the contest with this wonderful story. Very descriptive and just the right amount spookiness to give me goosebumps.
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Hi, Indy. I've had a lot of comments on this, and I didn't think it had a chance. From concept to posting, 2 hours! I'd forgotten the deadline and almost didn't make it. Hey, thanks for reviewing.
Comment by
mslink1
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a scary and intriguing tale you have woven, Nor.Your word choices, descriptions are great as always. The ending is super--and who doesn't love a good ending. My best to you in the contest, this story will hold its own, I'm sure. Have a great day, my friend. Mary


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Hello, Mary! Good to hear from you. I won the contest, by the way. Appreciate the review.

reply by mslink1 on 15-Apr-2009
    A well deserved win, altho, I did not read all the entries, lol. I just know that your's was the best, my friend. Mary
Comment by
Ms. Gray
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You have created a very scary setting for your story. I liked your description at the beginning and your ending was a nice twist. Congratulations on winning the contest. Good job.


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    thanks, Patti. I had fun writing it.
Comment by
faulkender
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Technically well done.
I would have liked more energy in your conversation, but The dialog was natural and flowed naturally. It could use more energy to covey the urgency of the Rudi's quest.

The reader is cued to Rudi's Bavarian accent but nothing comes of it.

The image of "dripping" fog seems to miss the intended feeling of eeriness.

You did get my attention and I wanted more.

Bob



I guess I have to wait for the next contest to find out what happended to Rudi.
Bob


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Well, I could have written better with more planning. I forgot the darned deadline, and had to go from concept to posting in 2 hours. Learned something about guys and women that I'll share: Guys want that ending pinned down: What happened?? Women, nah. They dream of Rudi living happily ever-after in the forest with his Diana, etc, and write their own ending. I never realized that before. Great review. Thanks for dropping in.

reply by faulkender on 15-Apr-2009
    That IS interesting. i would not have guessed that as I think men might be the true romantics.
Comment by
Tedisking
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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Wonderful, it was spooky. Is the story real or does it have some shred of truth to it? From the way you told it, it seemed to.


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2009



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2009
    Not a shred of truth, Tedisking-- well only these:

    Fog is thick and wet; the Black Forest has many legends; Bavarian Germans have a traditional hat with a feather.

    I took the idea from a Black Forest legend on the Internet, but it was about a knight who fell dead at the feet of a statue. Oh, and the "I" in the story is a fictional male character, not me. I'm an old lady. Thanks for reviewing.
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