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Reviews from
Blind Trust


Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Bring It On"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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Leaving his bags at the entry to the hallway, he headed for the kitchen, calling her name.
Cathy leaned against the counter, one hand gripping the handle of Kip's harness, the other fluttering about her throat.
(Evil Eddie is back- skip a line)

Evidently the gal we bought (it) from was quite the socialite and local hostess.


Little by little, I will take a looksee. I see the romance crawling in. Now, personally, I get a call like those, I would be calling hte police.
hugs
book


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
    My God, it stopped raining! I thought it was a permanent state. Heidi, I'm soggy for sure. I love your reviews, m'dear, as well as the edit helps but I hate to see you taking time like this for no bucks. If you don't see something that needs correcting, you can just read and enjoy! You'll be getting the finished product once it's published anyway!

    Thanks so much and we'll talk soon,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Allezw2
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Lady Gayle,

The secret lover seems to have a block in the vocabulary department, regressing to the limited quad-lettered epithets.

Funny to think how they were pushing the wonder of TV phones way back in the immediate post WWII era.

Think how much fun it would have been to see this character going red and blue in the face.

So we have a real psycho on the line. Hot diggety, suspense and menace in the offing.

A stolen dog was so much simpler.

Nicely done,

Fantasist


 Comment Written 13-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
    Yeah, he's nuts and he's furious, a very bad combination. Wheee, here we go!

    Thanks for the great R&R,

    Gayle
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Oh, ye gads, that dude is beyond psycho. You gave me chills from head to toe and back again. Brrr. I'm so glad you've got more chapters coming fast. Way to go, gal.

Let's [let==>allow] it go to the machine and see if he'll leave a message."

"If you go down the hall and turn [left] into the dining room,

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
    Blush!! See, that's what you get when you start enjoying your work! I don't know about anyone else, but when I write stuff like this man, you think YOU're scared? Just think, I have to sleep with him!

    Thanks for the catches and the great review!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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This is another well written chapter fortifying the bond between Cathy and Rudy. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
    Hey Charlie,

    Glad you're enjoying this one. It's very interesting to write! Thanks again,

    Gayle

reply by c_lucas on 07-Jan-2010
    You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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  Rank:  5
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 Rank:  56
 

#5 Ranked Novelist
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Once again a well written chapter. I am beginning to wonder if you ever even have a typo. No matter how much I proofread it seems I still overlook somethng. Very good plot, dialogue and characer development.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
    Hi Barbara,

    Thank you for the high praise. I surely appreciate it and thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes writing can be a lonely life!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
patmedium
 
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MORE, PLEASE! I don't want to have to wait for more!
Strong, likeable characters.
Clear emotions.
Vividly painted pictures in my mind!
Congratulations.
No criticism. Pat.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
    Here ya go, Pat! Just posted another one!

    So glad you liked, and I think there's still some bucks on earlier chapters.

    Thanks for the encouraging words! You made my day!

    Gayle

reply by patmedium on 05-Jan-2010
    NOT worried about bucks... unless, of course, they fill my aged eyes properly and make me drool! lol! Pat.
Comment by
ZigzagMLT
 
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Love this story. Can't wait to see where it goes. Like the love bit that's shaping up here. It seems so natural, so right. Well described. I could keep on reading.

One note: it's fajitas


Thanks!

Zigzagmlt


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
    Oh boy, how did I spell that? Yikes, I will go back and fix as soon as I think you for catching it and for the wonderful comments. You made my day!

    Gayle
Comment by
joelh605
Level 2 Pro
I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Hmmm - Bad Bo Peeper is a long way over the top, eh?

for whatever reason, why would he call you at all? No, I think it's someone else."

The innocent, clueless reader wishes to interject, "..or some other reason!!" - which is exactly what you want, you sly cruel author you! ;-)

"I finally met her at one of my gallery showings last year. She's still the hostess with the mostess.

The title originated with a woman named Perle Mesta sometime in the Roosevelt - Truman - Eisenhower era, and it was spelled "..with the mostest" at the time.

Until tomorrow,

Joel


 Comment Written 04-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
    Hey Joel,

    So, it's mostest? Okay, I can do that!

    I'm thrilled that I've captured your interest with this one. It's only about half done, so I'm building as I go!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Readywriter52
 
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I'm guessing the angry man on the phone is Nathan. I can't think of a more effective way to drive two people together than making threatening phone calls. Cathy and Rudy seem together great. Something is bothering Rudy and I'm sure we'll find out later what it is. They need to get away to protect Cathy. The story is well told and interesting.


 Comment Written 04-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
    Thanks for the great comments and fine review. I really appreciate your input and continued support.

    Gayle
Comment by
Dave M
 
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Gayle,

Sounds like somebody's out of control. I guess he'll try something, but that wouldn't be wise. And something I learned long ago: If you're going to do something, just do it. Don't ever threaten, because it makes you sound weak.

I enjoyed this read and really liked being able to read four chapters in quick succession. Sometimes, Fanstory's enforced quick bites of a novel leave me dissatisfied.

I have one suggestion:

"Choking on his hysteria, they heard the shrieking, furious tones, frightening as he struggled to get his voice under control." The caller, not Cathy or Rudy, was choking on his hysteria. I think the sentence could be improved by leaving that first phrase out, like so: "They heard the mysterious caller's shrieking, furious tones, frightening as he struggled to get his voice under control."

Dave


 Comment Written 04-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
    You're right on, Dave. I'll adjust accordingly.

    I agree, sometimes the enforced small doses can get old, especially if something is going on in the book that you want to get to the bottom of!

    And I agree. If you're gonna do it, just do. Threatening just makes people aware of your intentions. Sneak up on 'em, I say, blindside them! Oops, pun intended!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
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