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Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Kidnapped"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Poor Cathy. She's a spunky little gal, but in a pretty helpless situation. It's not like Norman is a normal person, so she can't reason with him. Anyone who would kick a dog in the face is a jerk.

As usual, I love your discriptions and dialogue. They help me visualize the scenes and move the story along.

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Actually, writing Cathy's portion of this story is so hard because she really is so helpless. Poor thing, and just imagine what that would be like for real? Terrifying.

    Thanks for the great comments.

    Love,
    Gayle
Comment by
ZigzagMLT
 
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This guy is crazy! Wow. I wasn't sure about the half door thing, couldn't picture it. Perhaps I am unfamiliar with such a construction... the other half swung out, right?

A few other questions / comments:
effort of walking, ... had made the muscles in her legs cramp.

it's not clear which condo he took her to... if it was the one next door, it would have been more difficult. Does he have camera equipment at both?

he had parked his car

okay, now I've read further and have the answer...


Thanks! Looking forward to the next chapter.
Zigzagmlt

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 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2010
    Okay, what he did is got into her condo using the attic. Once he gets in, he takes her from her condo to the one he rented next door. From there, he puts her in the trunk and takes her over to his other condo, his real house. It's a bit confusing, I guess, so I'll make it clearer!

    Thanks for the review,

    Gayle

reply by ZigzagMLT on 15-Jan-2010
    Thanks! I understood how he did it, and I thought he went across the hall, but it was when he had the photo trunk there that I got confused... guess I thought he kept all his equipment in the other condo.
    Z
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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This is not good. Cathy is in a real bind. I am shocked neither dog tried to protect her. That surprises me more than anything. As gentle as my labs are, they will still attempt to protect a family member.


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2010
    Well, remember, Norman didn't menace her or even make a move toward her, so they didn't consider him a threat. Now, Kip did try to tell her he was there but Cathy didn't pick up on that. By the time he took her out of the bedroom, she wasn't crying or anything, so they were puzzled but still not sure what to do. When he kicked Kip the last time, well, you're familiar with the old ... kick me once, shame on you, kick me twice, shame on me?

    Thanks so much for the great comments and encouragement!

    Gayle
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
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Wonderful tensiong and great writing. I'm really enjoying the story. I bet Cathy is really lost in a strange place with nothing familiar. Great job.


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2010
    You're the first to comment on Cathy's condition, which I imagine is pretty bad.

    Thanks so much for the wonderful comments and review.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
shelley kaye
taking each day
a night at a time
 
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accross <-- typo - extra 'c'

but when rudy catches him
he is so dead lol

what is going to happen next....

can't wait to see!

thanx for sharing!
shelley :)


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2010
    You are so right, shell, dead meat! I'll get that extra 'c'...where the heck did that come from? OY!

    Thanks again, sweetie,

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by shelley kaye on 15-Jan-2010
    eddie's brother charlie? LOL ;-)
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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I am having a hard time with both dog not alerting Cathy to the stranger in her apartment. You might want to go over this section and add something to explain whey they just stood there. A good guide dog would not react so casually. I am by no means an authority, but my best friend is blind and her dog, while gentle and loving, would never allow a stranger into her house without my friend giving the signal or saying what she calls the okay phrase. Once she came home and her brother, who had not yet met her guide dog, was sitting on the front porch waiting for her. The dog jumped between them and became very defensive. Her brother froze and to be honest I don't know what the dog would have done had he tried to approach my friend. I realize all dogs are different and they are also trained differently. But you might want to go back and clarify why both dogs did not try to alert Cathy to a stranger's presence.

Other than the above, this is a great chapter and now that Norman has Cathy the reader is desperate to find out how she get away from him. I pray Rudy is as good I think he is and is able to rescue her.


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
    Hi Sasha,

    The attitude of the dogs to Norman is not the norm. If he'd been hiding, or if he made an agressive move toward Cathy, that would have been different, but when Kip sees him, she tries to tell Cathy the only way she can. Cathy misinterprets the 'talk' for begging for a cookie. I'll get in there and polish the ms and make sure the reader knows why the dogs are quiet.

    Great review and great ideas. I'm outta thumbs but I'll remember you next month, lol!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
patmedium
 
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WOW. Now you HAVE punched me in the guts. What a tale. I am feeling exhausted and breathless. I have a slight headache. What power both you and robeth have with your pens. Anxiously awaiting the next bit. Pat.


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
    Here's some aspirin! LOL! Thanks so much for the wonderful comments, Pat. You make my day!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by patmedium on 14-Jan-2010
    Glad I make SOMEBODY's day! ;D Pat.
Comment by
Readywriter52
 
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Norman has kidnapped Cathy. I can't believe the dogs didn't do anything. I hope Cathy can remain calm because she is dealing with a mad man. They are unpredictable and prone towards violence.


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
    Hi Ready,

    Thanks for stopping by and the fine review.

    Gayle
Comment by
joelh605
Level 2 Pro
I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Norman skirted the dogs and followed Cathy into her bedroom, closing the door before the dogs could follow.

It's slightly odd that she doesn't sense Norman in the kitchen - but for her not to hear him shut the door starts to stretch things. But immediately she does sense him - and what follows tugs the right strings, the right way.

Super.

Joel


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
    Hey Joel,

    Y'know, I don't think I've done the best job on that part of the story. With that fab sixer staring at me, I'm encouraged to go back in there and add some "thick carpet muffled his footsteps." And then it comes to the door, I'll close it with just a click, which will be what she hears.

    Thank you so much for the wonderful bouquet!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
jayesnb
 
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I really enjoyed how Cathy didn't overly freak out in the situation she was in... You did a good job potraying her as scared but able to keep her wits about her..

The tension you built up in the last chapter rolled over to this one and you did a great job of leveling it off but keeping at an even keel instead of allowing it to wane...

The dialogue was exactly how i would think it would be under the circumstance..very well written chapter.


 Comment Written 13-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
    Hi Jaye,

    Thanks so much for the vote of confidence. I think Cathy is doing great under the circumstances, but if Rudy doesn't get there quick, she's gonna lose it!

    Hugs and thanks,
    Gayle
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