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Reviews from
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Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Follow The Trail"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Logicat
 
 
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Hold it! Giving Cathy more texture does not include making her disappear all together, does it? LOL! This was not an expected turn of events so quickly after Nathan moves next door. But I'm sure you have your reasons... I'll just be patient and quickly move to the next chapter.


 Comment Written 17-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Norman is on a tear now. He's jealous of Rudy and is making his moves too fast. He's not taking care of business, is he?

    Hang in there!

    Thanks for the great review,

    Gayle
Comment by
EllieKaye
 
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If only Kip could talk. Oh wow.
So many great details and I am sure they will find her and everything will work out--but wow--the intrigue and suspense is edge of your seat! Great job. :)


 Comment Written 16-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Hi Laura,

    Hope you had a great weekend! Thanks for the great comments for this chapter. I'm really enjoying this book, glad you are, too.

    Gayle
Comment by
Dave M
 
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Gayle,

This is an excellent chapter. Looks like the good guys were closing in, but they're late. I couldn't find anything to criticize. I would imagine that it won't take long to find Nathan Stanley, now that they know who he is.

Dave


 Comment Written 16-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Hey Dave,

    Yep, they're just one step behind, but I think they're gonna catch up to him pretty soon.

    Thanks so much for the great comments,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 25 part 2
Now what's happened?
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I am curious how he finds out where Cathy is.

He followed her into Cathy's closet, gave a quick glance around and shrugged.

"She's not in here, Kip." (Why didn't Rudy follow Kip's lead? He's already figured out Kip knows what happened?)


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    You mean, looking up for the hatch? We'll cover that a bit in the upcoming chapters, but I figure he's in too much of a rush to find her to take in the subtle hints. Fear does that to you sometimes, fear, and authors who don't want to move the story along too quickly! LOL!

    Thanks for the great review,

    Gayle

reply by barbara.wilkey on 17-Jan-2010
    My husband was an investigator for the Army, so somethings I tend to see in realism for hearing his stories. Sorry.
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
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Wow, these guys are really good. I bet having the dog is the biggest help of all. A search dog is worth their weight in gold. Great job.

Rudy stared at her a moment(,) and then walked

Of course, if he had luggage, if (he)planned to drive, it's likely he just went directly to the garage."






 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Good catch there...I got them. Yes, the PI team of Sessions & Browning seems to have expanded to include another human operative and a madder-than-hell canine. This should be good!

    Hugs and thanks,
    Gayle
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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You certainly kept me on the edge of my chair with this chapter. Very well written. Lots of tension and marvelous build with the strong descriptions of Rudy's fear. I like how you show the dogs trying to communicate, this added a little tension and frustration because as a reader I know what they were trying to say. Very good work with this and I anxiously look forward to reading the next chapter.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Hey Sasha,

    Thanks for the great read and your comments. I appreciate your encouragement...you know how important that is to a writer!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Man, I wish I had some sixes left, babes. This is another excellent chapter with a lot of twists and turns in it. I'm so nervous for Cathy's safety, I can hardly stand it. Poor doggies are doing their best to 'talk' to them.

Keep up the good work, Gayle.

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
    Hey Renie,

    The frustration level has just about hit the boiling point. Kips about to come unglued..if only Rudy spoke Doberman!

    Thanks for the virtual sixer!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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Hi Gayle. I'm sorry but I do not find the last two chapters believable. No dog would allow itself to be mistreated and no investigative team so inexperience. I have been around trained dogs that went ballistic when they or they owner were mistreated. Your mechanics deserve a five star ratings. Your story line needs to be more authenic. Charlie
Thank you for sharing the information. I've updated the rating.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2010
    Charlie, I know how you feel, but remember, for whatever reason, Cathy isn't upset that Norman's there. She can't see him, but the dogs wouldn't know that. Kip tries to tell her about Norman but she misinturprets her. Also, he hasn't roughed Cathy up nor has she screamed out. I think the next time Kip meets Norman, it won't matter what's going on. And yet, again, remember in the beginning when Rudy was so disgusted with her because she wouldn't bite or be agressive?

    Now, I'm not sure what you mean about the team being inexperienced. If you could tell me what you meant I might be able to fix that.

    Anyway, thanks for stopping by and sharing your feelings,

    Gayle

reply by c_lucas on 16-Jan-2010
    I have updated the rating. Isn't one of your characters a retired cop?
Comment by
shelley kaye
taking each day
a night at a time
 
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those dogs are so cool :)

there were a few things i noticed in this chapter....

Kips low pitched howls. <-- apostrophe 's on kip's and shouldn't low-pitched be hyphenated?

Kim continued to talk at him; <-- who kim? LOL ;-)

"Hey, Lenny, I'd like to see if Cricket can track Cathy. Let me get her scarf or something." maybe 'A scarf'? it sounds like rudy's going to get cricket's scarf :-P

If it turned out that Nathan Stanley could see Cathy's condo from his roof then another nail in the guys coffin was ready to drive home. <-- uhh.... huh? :-/

the guys coffin <-- need apostrophe 's on guy's


okay i think that's it
was reginald taking a nap when you edited? LOL! ;-)

anyway, great chapter! can't wait to see what comes next!!

thanx for sharing!
shelley :)


p.s. i give you a fiver cause i know you'll fix or explain everything :)


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2010
    You got that pegged. I wanted to get this one out so bad I missed a bunch of stuff. All better now and thank you for those beautiful eagle eyes...I so appreciate it. From here on in, I'm creating as we go, so I expect spaggies will sneak in. I'll try to wake Reginald up. Dude's on a lazy streak.

    Man, we're supposed to get rain, as in all the rain we're supposed to get for the whole year, in three days. Wow, that's going to make for some interesting travel through the washes. You be careful, my little Cali gurl.

    Hugs and big thanks,
    Gayle
Comment by
2009 and 2010 Novelist Of The Year
2010 Script Writer Of The Year
FredCollingwood
 
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Gripping from beginning to end. I looked hard but found no spags--excellent writing.

She's over twenty-one, so it's going to be tomorrow or the next day before they'll put her into the system." > This is a shame. I've always heard that the first 24-48 hours is the best time to gather information. After that, leads dry up, but I understand that most disappearances are not crimes.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2010
    Hi Fred,

    Well, I can't thank you enough for the wonderful review. I take it as a high compliment, coming from you.

    Yes, that waiting thing is terrible, but when there's no sign of violence, so often it's someone needing some alone time, stuff like that. Still, in cases like these, it breaks your heart.

    Again, Fred, thank you so much for the fine review!

    Gayle
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