Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Two Line Poem
Deadline: Today!

75 Words Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 3 Days

5-7-5 Poem
Deadline: Jul 10th

This Sentence Starts The Story
Deadline: Jul 15th

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 22nd


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Blind Trust


Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Rescue Me"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
ZigzagMLT
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Not too slow, just right for setting the mood... although it took me a minute to figure out the dog thing, dead or not. At times, the fact that the dog's name is Amy is confusing, but I think FS-style of things lends itself to such confusion.

Great job!
Zigzagmlt


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
    Hi Zig,

    The list of characters here is troublesome since it's so big. Also, my propensity for naming my dogs people names doesn't help. Perhaps a nice Fido or Spot might break things up some, lol!

    Great review and thanks for the super review.

    Gayle

reply by ZigzagMLT on 24-Jan-2010
    You're welcome. And you don't need to go the Spot route!! I am sure that when I read the print version, all at once, it will all fall into place. Thanks! Z
Comment by
joelh605
Level 2 Pro
I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great, measured chapter. But the twins are some kind of Wonder Woman superhero breed? - restaurateurs who pull engines? OK, this is fiction and fiction thrives on uber-competence :)

Amy and Tony are both Dobermans, right? This is an obstacle of sorts to anyone coming into the series other than via Book One.

Eager for the next chapter!

Joel


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
    Y'know, Joel, that's perfectly true. I'll have to make sure everyone knows the team are all Dobies. While I've got ya, lol, I have another question. Now people who read Secret Lives know why Amy is supposed to be dead. I simply alluded to it here and I'm wondering if I should go into it again? Whatcha think?

    Ah, the girls...typical Cali gurls, look like butter won't melt in their mouths when in reality, they're a tough bunch of cookies. Sort of!

    Thanks for the great comments and stars!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by joelh605 on 23-Jan-2010
    Amy has such a small job to do here, the air of mystery is a good thing: "Huh? WHY does she 'posedta be dead?!" Keeps the reader alert.
    :)
Comment by
RenieReader
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh, I love these little breather parts where some planning and thinking is being done. I like the way the guys play off one another's ideas and why one thing will work while another, won't. Those feisty twins are something else, too.

I didn't see any problems, babe.

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
    Thanks for the great review and comments. Yes, this whole cast of characters are a riot. Remember Al and the 'flying meat' incidents in the lounge? LOL! Even Chef is a hoot. I gotta meet these folks!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Readywriter52
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ella and Terry are debating how best to rescue Cathy. Jim and Lenny seem concerned about sending Ella and Terry after the kidnapper. They are all concerned about Cathy.


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
    Hi Ready, good to see you again. Glad you liked this one and I appreciate the fine comments,

    Gayle
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  35
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 31 part 1
Logan learns more about McKenzie's past.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#6 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ella and Terry are great. I really enjoyed these two ladies. They add personality to trying to rescure Cathy. With friends like them, how could things go wrong. Great job.


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
    Hi Barbara,

    I love the girls. This is their fifth book so we all know each other very well. It's a riot how the characters just take over a story and the next thing you know, you're kinda like Nathan...what is going on here? LOL!

    Thanks for the great comments.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I can see this leading up to a jam packed with action piece. I like the laying of the groundwork for the plan. Very nicely done.

Ooo(h), don't say that.


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
    Hi and thank you so much for the great review. The next chapter should be out shortly and I hope you enjoy.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
shelley kaye
taking each day
a night at a time
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  160
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
okay wait a sec- ella's is in la right? so you're going to get from la to escondido in 30 minutes???? the jag can go fast but it can't fly! LOL!

Cabin where? <-- sounds weird - maybe change to "what cabin?" ?


okay, other than those two things - a good (half) chapter

thanx for sharing!
shelley :)


p.s. your ark built yet? LOL!


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
    I blew it. The guys are in Del Mar but the girls are in Hollyweird. Okay, I'll make it an hour!
    The other one is a good idea, too! Thanks.

    Now, how are you doing? Are you still in Laguna Nigel? What's your rain like there? We're getting just a bit soggy here.

    Take care, sweetie,

    Gayle

reply by shelley kaye on 21-Jan-2010
    close- laguna hills- we're 'swimming' LOL
Comment by
Sasha
Level 1 Pro
Premier Author
Sasha
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  38
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  441
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I didn't find this the least bit slow. You immediately got my adrenaline pumping and breaking this into two chapters is perfect. Great to leave the reader desperately wanting to now more. I cannot wait to read the next chapter. You have done a terrific job with this. The pace is perfect and your descriptions are amazing. Wonderful writing. Top notch!


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
    Hey Sasha,

    Thanks for the great review and the wonderful comments. I appreciate your input so much!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Dave M
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Gayle,

This is an excellent set-up chapter. And the women would be loaded for bear, even when they're supposed to act like sweet bubbleheads. And yes, I remember that Amy is supposed to be dead, that Lenny (I believe) dumped "her" corpse on the police captain's desk.

One question: Is Ella's restaurant in San Diego or Los Angeles? If it's in LA, it would take more than a half hour to get to the cabin.

One suggestion: "We just have to contain Terry until she can lure Norman far enough away from the house that [so] Amy can do her thing." Don't know if the word "so" is grammatically correct, but this is dialogue, and "so" is exactly what an American would use here.

Dave


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
    Hey Dave,

    How cool that you remember that! Yes, after dealing with Bob, Amy had to disappear! What a great memory! :)

    Grrrr, Shelley Kaye just informed me of that bloop. The guys are in Del Mar and I gave the same timeframe to the girls. Tack an hour onto that one.

    I'll also check that 'so'. I need to get over to your neck of the woods here soon. We're been having terrible weather, REALLY hard rains, power out for hours at a time. What a mess!

    Hey good buddy, thanks again,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
rogerpolly
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I thought the chapter was interesting, setting the stage for what happens next. Believable characters. I like that the girls took time to return to the office for their purses, even if they are in a hurry to catch the culprit.


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
    Hi Polly,

    Thanks for stopping by and for the great comments. I appreciate your input and encouragement.

    Gayle
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
A place for love
Everything has a time and a place


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy