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Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Get Me Out!"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
EllieKaye
 
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OK, obviously I have missed a few chapters. Great job though on this one. I can fill in what I missed and will have to go back ...

The characters are all well portrayed. I like how you show them in the 'shrink's' office. Interesting sotry so far. :)

kissy, slurpy sounds (had to laugh)


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    I loved that kiss too, Laura. Made me chuckle as I wrote it. Thanks for stopping by and the great R&R.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
joelh605
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I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Interesting - you told us that Dr. Pritchard had a conversation with the guard on the way out, so I'll guess that means some new surprise coming. I like those.

And the DID part was nicely done. Suppose Dr. Pritchard will show Nathan film of the others? - but they'll witness Nathan seeing them, and that could precipitate several complicated crises at once, not the least being Nicholas's trust of Dr. Pritchard. Nice tightrope to walk if the idea is to put Nathan back in control.

And Norman's assertion that he kept Nathan from taking his meds smoothes over Nathan's apparent denial about letting the others out.

Joel
=-=-=
he'd resume his life as a paparazzo

Hmmm? I guess Nathan can be viewed this way - but Norman has the paparazzo memories, doesn't he? I thought Nathan was basically an artist who uses a lens.

The distance in itself would slow or stop any further inclinations toward Cathy, and the meds would give him the control he needed to remain dominant. unintended line break
He lay there in the dark, listening, thinking and practicing for tomorrow and his interview with the doctor assigned to his case.


EE strikes again


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2010
    Hey Joel,

    We're in a very fluid time right now. At this point, I've posted all the chapters I'd done earlier, but now we're past that and I'm writing as I post. That's why I haven't been keeping up the flow! But it's great because readers like you are now coming up with little ideas, tidbits that I can use if they work! Thanks for the great review and your comments.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Oh, Gayle, it makes me shudder to get two weirdos together working on this case: Nathan/Nicholas and Dr. Pritchard. I wonder who's going to outfox the other. I love the way you've introduced us to both.

Most of these are suggestions. Check 'em out and let me know what you think:

I'm just saying their voices were so different it would be (impossible not==>this is like a double negative) [easy] to discern one from the other, [even==>especially] for a blind woman.

I'm Dr. Pritchard and I'll be working with you for [your] court evaluation."

It's a very new field, and unfortunately, unscrupulous people glom[p](???) onto DID

I think it would be beneficial [to==>for] you to join.

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2010
    Hey Renie,

    Thanks for the eagle eye and the comments. Will consider. Now, 'glom' like 'glom onto' ...no? Maybe it's a Cali thing I'll just change it to 'jump on' and leave it at that, lol!

    Hope you're behaving! I'm watchin'!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by RenieReader on 29-Jan-2010
    I was wrong about glom==>glomb. You were right.
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 25 part 2
Now what's happened?
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Another good post. I am really enjoying the plot. You have a good job. Your characters are fun and likable. The dialogue flowed smoothly and sounded very natural. The pacing is good.


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2010
    Hi Barbara

    Thanks for stopping by and for the great comments. I'm glad you're enjoying!
    Husg,
    gayle
Comment by
Dave M
 
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Gayle,

I really enjoyed reading this chapter, especially its second half with Nathan et al. So Norman goes and gets what Nathan wants... Somehow, I expect an escape from Lowell House, but who knows?

I have a couple of comments:

"...which presently wore a scruffy and not very comfortable beard." I don't like the word "presently." I know what you're saying - Rudy was obviously too busy and upset to shave for some time, and this is an excellent touch. I'd say, "which happened to wear a scruffy and not very comfortable beard."

Gayle, where is Tribeca?

Dave


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2010
    Hey Dave,

    Y'know, I don't like 'presently' either. I think I'll tweak that sentence and come up with something good! I like your idea, for sure!

    Thanks for stopping by and for the input!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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This is an excellent and well written chapter. You have done a very good job explaining in an interesting and gripping manner the symptoms of DID. I like how you emphasized that some try to use it as a ploy but in Norman's case his claim of DID is authentic. I also like how you show Cathy's compassion and sympathy for Norman. Your description of the difference in voice as well as speech patterns is spot on. Very good job with this chapter. I look forward to reading the next one.


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2010
    Hey Sasha,

    Thanks for the great commens. I'm trying very hard to be as realistic as I can in this section. Hope you like how I handle the second half of this chapter!

    Thanks hon,

    Gayle
Comment by
shelley kaye
taking each day
a night at a time
 
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who talked? nathan and the guard? a little confused with that last sentence -- other than that a grrrreaaaaat chapter! i'm fascinated with DID :)

didn't notice any spaggies or typos (reginald woke up eh? LOL!)

thanx for sharing! will be waiting for the next offering!

shelley :)


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2010
    Hey Shelley!

    We're drying out here, beautiful snow on the mountains and a high of 65! Now that's my idea of winter! LOL!

    It was Dr. Pritchard that talked with the guard, if we're talking about the same scene. I'll check it out! Yes, finally got Reginald up to speed, lazy little arachnid!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
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It would be really wild to have alternative personalities like that. I think you did a great job of showing the differences here. Well done.


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2010
    I bet it is. Imagine waking up in your car and not hiving a clue where you were. Thanks for the great comments. This took a lot of research and I'm thrilled it seems realistic to you!

    Gayle
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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The trouble with a personal disorder is con men and fakers try to use it for their benefit. This is a rush job for the doctor, but I can understand why you are doing it. Very good job. A couple of errors. Are they intentional?
Errors.
been a (an) admirer for about ten years now

Norman got through to him to him (doubled - delete one repetition) and just took over."


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2010
    Great catches, Charlie, I got those edits fixed, and yes, we're moving a bit fast. When I get to the final edit for the ms, I'll probably expand it, make it seem like the interview went on for a couple of days, at least.

reply by c_lucas on 25-Jan-2010
    You're welcome Gayle. Charlie
Comment by
patmedium
 
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WELL! This was absolutely FASCINATING!!! Gayle, the sheer hard WORK you must have had to do to build all this up has me gasping. I sat here, almost imbued with the clinical detachment of the psychiatrist while I read. Your power over me is fantastic to experience. I have never had to examine myself before I came to F.S. This is a new experience and I am following several stories... yours is in a different field! Pat.


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2010
    Pat, all your wonderful words encourage me so much. This is what FS is all about. I'm thrilled that you enjoy this story and I'm glad you found FS, too.

    You are so appreciated!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by patmedium on 25-Jan-2010
    As usual, it was a real pleasure to read, dear.
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