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Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Lowell House"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Wow, Donnie is good at his job. Very interesting look into the life of DIDs with their alters and who knows about who. I'm loving the way you take us through these experiences. Way to go, Gayle.

Not a nit in sight.

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Hey Renie,

    I sure appreciate your encouragement and the good words. You know how important that is to us struggling writers! Love you, girl and big hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 25 part 2
Now what's happened?
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#5 Ranked Novelist
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This is another very good post. Your characters remain strong and personalities continue to blossom. Great job.

They settled next to the pool, (they settled beside the pool)


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Hey Barbara,

    I always wonder about beside/next to. Is it that one would be 'beside' a person/animal, something like that, and 'next to' something like a table or chair? I get so confused!
Comment by
2009 and 2010 Novelist Of The Year
2010 Script Writer Of The Year
FredCollingwood
 
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You have such a natural way of storytelling. I find particular interest in this one because it's in and around my neighborhood. My office was in Kearny Masa.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Aha, did you love the jets or did they make you crazy? I can't imagine actually dealing with that on a daily basis, but oh, that sound, that feeling when they fly over the I5 and I swear, you can see the eyebrows on the pilots man, that's awesome!

    Thanks for the high praise, Fred. I'm writing each chapter fresh now, so of course, they're taking more time to get out. I sure appreciate your kind comments and fine rating!

    Gayle
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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This is an excellent extension to your story. I have been enjoying it, but this episode appeared to be glazed overy. It was too simple for Michael to appear when Stanley had started his medicine, again.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Hey Charlie,

    I think that Donnie has kinda 'undone' the bunch of them. Nathan sees him as his very first friend. Michael sees him as someone who could become an ally, especially after Donnie agrees to talk to him-Michael-when he has questions about the abuse.

    We still have to get the gate keeper out, won't be long. THEN we get back to Cathy! YEA!

    Hugs and thanks,
    Gayle

reply by c_lucas on 29-Jan-2010
    You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
Comment by
joelh605
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I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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[grin] This is weird, Gayle - the alters are a mixed bag, and I half expected Donnie to tell Michael that they could all peep out through Nathan's eyes 24-7 if they could learn to blend - each one as an attribute that Nathan could integrate into his conscious self. But then that's just Polyanna talking - Shoo, girl! :)

Joel
=-=-=
as a little kid, I'd often wake up on the back lawn, staring at the sky and pretending the world was coming to an end."
The blink was imperceptible.


I'm curious - Nathan remembers waking up on the back lawn, which I'll guess means Norman/Michale/somebody went there to let the hurting subside, before turning back over to Nathan; but whose blink was imperceptible? From the placement in the following paragraph, it has to be Donnie's, right?

Guess that makes me a voyeur of sorts. Of course, in all reality, that's exactly what I am. I'm not a part of life,

Gayle, you've given this dude some thought.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Hey Joel,

    The blink is Donnie's. He doesn't expect to see Michael come out so easily, uninvited, as it were!

    DID isn't always this way. Nathan suffers from acute sociatal anxiety, which makes him anti-social in the extreme. That's why he laughed when he first met Donnie. He'd just met his first friend!

    when this gets published I'll send you a copy, Joel. I'll be editing for quite a while, yet.

    Thanks again for the encouragement,

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by joelh605 on 30-Jan-2010
    Holding you to that promise, Gayle!

    :)
Comment by
Korton
 
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Another excellent chapter, Gayle. Well, it seems like Donnie is really getting into his head, unless it's all an act with some sort of ulterior motive. Very well done.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Hey Frank,

    Donnie is the key to Nathan's successful recovery. Unfortunately, Donnie hasn't met Norman yet, and that will be the deal. Glad you liked this one and thanks for the great comments.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Readywriter52
 
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Nathan is talking to Donnie. When Donnie asks about his father, Michael shows up to lay down the law. Nathan wants to get rid of the alternative personalities, but he doesn't want to change his lifestyle. I wonder if he can change if he can't confront his problems.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Hi Ready,

    Nathan has a long way to go before he gets all his answers. Thanks for the great R&R!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
ZigzagMLT
 
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Well done. I liked the delving into the background of Nathan, and linking that to why he is the way he is... a longer. I liked the way you tied that together at the end.

One thing: flight pattern or path?


Thanks for a great chapter.
Zigzagmlt


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Hi Zig,

    Thanks for the R&R and your great comments.

    I think it's both. The flight pattern is almost like when they do tricks at airshows? They do turns and loops and all kinda things. The path, at least in my mind, is when they follow a straight line without the whirlygigs. Have you ever seen that? I could sit and watch them for hours. And when they just skim over the freeway, man, talk about a rush!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by ZigzagMLT on 29-Jan-2010
    I have, seen the air spectacles, right over my place, as I was hanging laundry on the line. Made my heart almost stop... worse than watching figure skating when they fall.

    So perhaps path was what you were looking for in your story.

    Thanks for the explanation!
    Z
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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You are doing a marvelous job describing the conflict between the alters and the frustration Nathan is experiencing. My only problem is with the place he was sent. It just doesn't seem logical that the court would allow this. They definitely would agree to have Nathan evaluated to determine whether he is competent and able to stand trial. But, it just doesn't seem realistic that they would send him off to a fancy place to be used as a guinea pig for drug studies. If he were found incompetent the court would send him to a facility under the control of the county or state until (if ever) he is found to be competent to stand trial. If he is eventually found competent, he will then stand trial for kidnapping and the defense can use the DID as their defense. If he is found not guilty by reason of mental defect the court would send him to a facility until the physicians determine he is able to be set free and able to rejoin society. I know this is fiction and you can take this in any direction you want, but many readers are uptodate on the legal mumbo jumbo and might find this just a little hard to believe. Don't misunderstand, I think your writing is top rate and I am enjoying your superb descriptions of the illness. I have every intention of continuing reading and as the story progresses I may very well change my mind. Please remember, I look at things from a logical perspective and that is how I review. I am well aware I may be in the minority in my opinion.


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Hi Sasha,

    You know, I think what I'm going to do when I publish this book is to add some sort of disclaimer because you're very right. Even more important, I don't want to use any sort of drug protocol or anything that would lead someone to believe it might be 'the answer' and act on it. By the time we're finished with this novel, after you see what's ahead for the dogs, sending Nathan to a posh funny farm, as Lenny called it, will be the least of it.

    And please, continue to give me your input and ideas. They're very important to me.

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by Sasha on 28-Jan-2010
    Glad you're not upset. I think a disclaimer would resolve the problem completely. As long as the reader knows in advance that this is not based on actual legal or medical statistics it erases the problem with the 'posh funny farm'. I really think that's a great idea.
Comment by
Dave M
 
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Gayle,

Nathan is walking on a hard, rocky road. I can see why they changed the name to DID from multiple-personality disorder, because none of the personalities are complete. I'm also glad you pointed out that anti-psychotic medications have serious side effects. This is why many people who need them don't take them.

I wonder if Norman is going to come out and do some more damage...

Have one suggestion:

"I don't have to be on guard against saying something stupid so it makes me feel good." I think what you mean here is, "I don't have to be on guard against saying something stupid, and that makes me feel good."

Dave


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Hey Dave,

    DID is a really hard nut to crack, mostly because it stems from early sexual child abuse, although for some more tender little souls, and I mean that as it sounds, screaming, fighting, violent parents can cause it, too. But mostly, it's sexual abuse. The most amazing thing is, most kids seem to get through all kinds of abuse without shattering. That's what DID is, actually. A shattering of the personality. The type and degree of violence also factors in as does the relationship of the violator. Fathers seem to scar the deepest for obvious reasons.

    Thanks for hanging in there and staying with me. As you know, I'm now writing and then posting, so I don't have the luxury of time to chew things over and stuff, so it's extra helpful when writers like you can give input.

    And yes, you fixed that sentence just right! That's what I mean!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by Dave M on 29-Jan-2010
    Gayle,

    I've noticed that your popularity has fallen off a bit. After all, you're no longer pumping your chapters up to the hilt, and they're more expositions of character than potboiler adventures. As far as I'm concerned, please keep this up. Of course, I'd like to earn more than a dollar by reviewing one chapter, but your story really interests me.

    Dave

reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
    Dave, what a sweet thing to say. Yes, I've gone broke! Also, I'm now writing each chapter so it's taking more time...and the edit needs are slipping through the cracks!

    I cannot thank you enough for the support, my friend. It means so much!

    Gayle
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