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Reviews from
Blind Trust


Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Lowell House"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
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I loved the dialouge in this chapter. Seeing how the alter egos were manipulate was great. A wonderful little chapter. Great job.


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Ah, good to see you again, my friend. Glad you liked this one. It will be fun to get back to the action, but we have a stage to set! Won't be long!

    Gayle
Comment by
shelley kaye
taking each day
a night at a time
 
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  Rank:  148
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Mira Mar <-- i've only seen miramar as one word - you may wanna check it out

other than that a great chapter
can't wait to see what happens next!

thanx for sharing
shelley :)


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Hi Shelley

    Man, I'll have to check into that. Thanks for the heads up! Always great to hear from you, m'dear!

    Hugs,
    gayle
Comment by
El.Marjie
 
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Interesting picture of alter ego situation. Thanks for writing it and sharing. Just a couple suggestions below.


"Did you grow up by the beach,(;) surf and stuff?" I would choose a semicolon.

After highest bidder, need quotation mark; also after 'guess' in the last line.

Good luck in your writing. You're on the way! Best, Marjie


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Hi Marjie,

    So nice to see a new friend. Thank you for the fine R&R and your comments.

    Gayle
Comment by
nor84
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Premier Author
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The sound is thrilling, deafening(.) It's, like, almost >>>I'm hearing a period after 'deafening, not a slight pause.

Might be overusing that semicolon a tad in this chapter.

"Do you know what his(--) that frickin' bastard (--)did

Good job here, Gayle.


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Hey Norma,

    Do you like the dashes better? I can do that! Also, I must have rewritten that sentence a dozen times. End at deafening. Okay, I can hear that too. Sorry, about the ";s" every once in a while I get on a tear. If it's not !s, its ...s or ;! Oy. I'll fix. Big thanks and hugs,

    Gayle
Comment by
patmedium
 
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I know this is all necessary to the story... but I am sort of twitching to get back to the blind lass... Don't listen... NO hints! I am sitting here, reading, but I feel I'm marking time until we return to the main characters that interest ME... then I feel doubtful whether they'll come back! It's beginning to feel as if this chap's illness and treatment is the ultimate aim of the whole book! (DON'T forget... NO HINTS, missus!) Pat.

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 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Well, Pat, hang in there a bit. We're about to engage in the second half of the story. Thanks for the wonderful words, my friend. You make me smile.

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by patmedium on 29-Jan-2010
    I SAID NO...NO...NO HINTS! Pat.
Comment by
jayesnb
 
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Interesting look into Nathans psyche...The alter Michael seems to be the protector of sorts attempting to shield nathan from the abuse he suffered in the past... I like the alters pitted against Norman, from what i have read its usually like that were one is bad and destructful...This chapter was totally engrossing and you managed to progress it with ease...great job

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 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Thanks a bunch, Jay. I so appreciate your comments and your great review.

    Gayle
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