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Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Breakthrough"

A woman is stalked by a fan

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
jayesnb
 
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Very well done... I could feel the emotion from Nathan in the courtroom..And the dialogue of the doctor and donnie read well..cant wait to read the next part...great job


 Comment Written 01-Feb-2010



reply by the author on 03-Feb-2010
    Hey Jay,

    Poor Nathan, huh? Can you imagine having to explain away something like that?

    Thanks so much for the great R&R!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
joelh605
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I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Hmmmm -

The tears seem a little overdone, but then if Nathan is that part of the whole personality which isn't the other parts, and they'd NEVER cry, OK Nathan can't help but emote.

Joel
=-=-=
I asked him if he'd ever thought about letting Nathan know about the abuse and he adamantly said no. I agree, at least at this point."
"What's your prognosis at this point?


"...at this point" twice


 Comment Written 31-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
    Ooops! I'll get the 'stutter' out of there. Thanks for the eagle eye and all your comments. I will utilize!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
2009 and 2010 Novelist Of The Year
2010 Script Writer Of The Year
FredCollingwood
 
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Excellent chapter and very well written. Minor comments:

He hates the meds(,) what's new, but he's keeping a journal, so hopefully he'll expand past the meds to how he's feeling. > comma splice. Needs a semicolon or period


I asked him if he'd ever thought about letting Nathan know about the abuse() and he adamantly said no. > comma


 Comment Written 31-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Hi Fred,

    Hope you're having a nice weekend. Great eagle eye comments there and I'll utilize. Thanks for the great R&R!

    Gayle
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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Another emotionally packed post. I am surprised Nathan didn't get a little harder sentence. I am wondering if he will really stick to his meds. We shall see.


 Comment Written 31-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Hmmmm, you know how that goes! I'm sure Norman isn't going to go quietly.

    Thanks for the great R&R

    Gayle
Comment by
Readywriter52
 
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Nathan is apologetic about what he did, but until he can integrate Norman or control him, the same thing will happen again. Norman doesn't regret what he did.


 Comment Written 31-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Yep, you're right. Norman feels justified in doing whatever he wants. Now we have to see if Nathan can ever get strong enough to fight him!

    Thanks and hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
RenieReader
 
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Wow! He did get off easy. Most DID individuals would not be believed, for one thing. I wonder how well 'unlocking the door' will go with the alters. Not as easy as it sounds it could be. I'm ready for more.

I'm having problems with some of these terms and whether they should be possessive:
by the end of the three months['] session,
The judge remanded Nathan to six more weeks['] confinement under the care of Dr. Pritchard and five years['] probation

You'll have to decide. My brain isn't working too well.

Hugs,
Renie


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    I don't know either, Renie. Maybe Norma will stop by and get me on the right track!

    Yes, DID is a problematic diagnosis for the layman to understand, especially since so many use it as a defense when they don't have it. I'm following along from a series of studies I found on the net regarding hypnosis for DID patients, stuff like that. Believe it or not, when a person really does have DID, this is how it happens.

    Also, with Cathy refusing to press charges, and indeed, exonerating him from the kidnapping, the cops really don't have much going for them. We'll have to wait and see!

    Thanks for the great R&R, my friend,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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You did a great job with this chapter. It pretty much alleviated all my previous concerns about the law. One way around it may be to emphasize Cathy's empathy a little stronger than you did in an earlier chapter. When she is talking to Rudy, you might have her say she doesn't want to testify against Nathan. That will lessen the frustration with Nathan/Norman being sent to a posh hospital. I want to repeat, that this chapter definitely erased my earlier concerns.


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Oh Sasha, that means the world to me. It's so hard on FS to read a story like this. I figure this is a two day/night read, at least it would be for me. Here, oy, it's like pulling teeth.

    Deep, happy sigh, with love and hugs,

    Gayle
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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You have did a very good job of presenting Nathan's defense and prdictrament. This is very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Hey Charlie,

    Thanks so much for the fine review. I can't thank you enough for the wonderful support you've given me!

    Hugs,
    Gayle

reply by c_lucas on 31-Jan-2010
    You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
Comment by
patmedium
 
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Here I am, at last. After a mammoth session trying to iron out the kinks in my own work... all self inflicted out of ignorance. I felt Cathy's emotions clearly, and I still find myself angry at Nathan. This was a quiet read for me. No high b.p. or anything like that. Pat.


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    Pat, you should still be mad at Norman. He scared her to death, and if there's any justice, we're gonna see if we can come up with something fitting for Norman that won't put Nathan in the slammer!

    Great review!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment by
ZigzagMLT
 
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EE? Not sure of the identity.

I did not find much this time, but then I am coming down with a cold, so my brain is struggling a bit.

-- warnings to continue with his drug therapy

One other thing struck me while reading. It seems to me that Nathan's doctors had discussed amongst themselves how he was not a good candidate, and how he was not likely to succeed in integrating his alters. On the stand, I seem to recall hearing of the opposite being given as evidence. Did I read correctly?

Thank you for another great chapter.
Zigzagmlt




 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010



reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
    No, you read right, Zig, they've got their reservations but they have to be positive with the court or they won't get a chance to help him. Mostly it's because Nathan is quite self-sufficient. He's lived over a decade without an incident, and they feel if they can get him to connect with Norman, they might reach a common ground.

    It's still very complex, and we're going to see a breakthrough in the chapter I just put out. Might answer some questions...but not all! Can't do that!

    Thanks so much
    Gayle

reply by ZigzagMLT on 30-Jan-2010
    Thanks, Gayle. I see a little better now, after having read the next chapter. Perhaps it was that added hope that I had not felt while reading the first breakthrough chapter. I had understood that they were going to give up... perhaps keep taking his money. My impression was all wrong.
    Z
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