Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

True Story Flash
Deadline: In 3 Days

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jun 8th

Minute
Deadline: Jun 14th

Share Your Story
Deadline: Jun 16th

Four Line Poem
Deadline: Jun 20th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Hatchet Man


You're fired ... but

  30 total reviews 
Comment by
allinmyhead
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Really enjoyed this one. Kept my attention from start to finish. Original approach to the prompt. Almost read like a "Mickey Spillane" style detective story - something about the flow. Catchy, quick. Good use of dialogue to tell the story.
You've used some lines that really, very concisely, visual character sketches: "Eau de stink permeated the cubicle." and this one, "Tsk, Tsk" rattled around her organized brain." Loved those two.
You could feel Mel's sigh of relief with the last line.

Might have used some single quotes in this line, around the words you're fired: "...'You're fired.' doesn't take long to say."


 Comment Written 20-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 20-Mar-2010
    allinmnyhead,

    Thank you for the wonderful review. I guess my style is a bit Mickey Spillane...I really appreciate your generous comments.

    Funny part was I originally had the single quotes and someone else said I was wrong...Oh well, as long as everyone enjoys, I'm happy.

    smiles, Carol
Comment by
MJMuraco
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This story is hilarious. You did a great job of writing comedy. It was like a sitcom! I really liked the names you chose for your characters. This is a great entry for the contest!


 Comment Written 19-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    MJ,

    Thanks so much for your kind response. I truly appreciate your time and comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
IndianaIrish
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ha!! What a great story, Carol. Who would fire anyone with an excuse like that? The characters are wonderful and I loved their names. Best of luck!
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    Indy,

    Thank you for the kind review...I always appreciate hearing from you, my friend. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
TheBritsWife
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Carol! Wow...now there's some excuse! Or should I say "excuses?" Your flash fiction story is great. I loved the frantic pace, and I thought for sure Mel was going to get the axe. The twist at the end was a welcome relief! I also enjoyed your cast of office characters. Every company is full of them! I still have flashbacks to getting laid off a year ago, so I was happy that things turned out differently in your story! Good luck in the contest. This is a fabulously funny and clever entry. - Karen ;-)


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    Karen,

    Hope all is well with you...Thanks for the great review. Appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  37
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  59
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Carol,
what a person will do and say is amazing and you showed it so well how your clever character could do it in a humorous way and it seems everyone believed the lies.

Gert


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    Gert,

    Thanks for the review and your kind comments as always. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
ladybird
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very amusing story. I like how you have given the characters different humorouse names.Mr Bloodhound,Miss Goody Two Shoes, Miss Busy Bee, love them. What Does roflmao, mean?


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    ladybird,

    I believe...rolling on the floor, laughing my a-- off...roflmao!

    Thanks for the great review, sweetie. Carol

reply by ladybird on 19-Mar-2010
    lol, I see :-) By the way, did you recieve the list of agents I sent by pm?

reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    ladybird,

    Yes and I thank you...been away from the computer tending to family stuff but I appreciate you taking the time...Have a great day, girl friend. Smiles, Carol

reply by ladybird on 19-Mar-2010
    You're welcome, if you want any more , let me know.
Comment by
Trybuck
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another day another tall tale
It appears all is well
Can't believe you made that story sale
Guess Jack likes your looks and smell

Well done, Buck


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    Buck,

    Some men will buy anything and others won't even bother to shop...LOL Glad you enjoyed the story. smiles, CArol
Comment by
scottmaiorca
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Fun read. I could feel her panic and agnst, while still chortling at her bitchy quality of judging others. Was ver y elieved by the end, which then made the whole story quite funny.


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    scott,

    Thanks so much for the wonderful review. Truly appreciate it, Carol
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh that was the perfect why I was late story. I bet the guy never saw that as a made up lie. Another wonderful short story by my favorite write. Great job.


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
    Joy,

    You always lift my spirits with your encouragement...Thank you so much. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
melyuki
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
well sis, Mel says this was so entertaining and she's so glad she didn' get fired too. phew.. mut be cos her dress was stuck up her ars... lucky she didnt have dunny paper hanging out too. has happened before.. now i am laughing, are you imagining the picture... good one sis, as I said, your story leaves me speechless.. sending hugs luv Melxxx


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2010



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
    I almost had the toilet paper attached but I was running out of words...since I had a minimum for the contest. Thanks for the encouragement...Love Sis

reply by melyuki on 17-Mar-2010
    Yeah I bet ... hugs Melxx
  -1-  2 3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
St. Louis Chapter 28 part 1
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy