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Reviews from
Evil in Paradise - Part 3


Mystery and Crime

  25 total reviews 
Comment by
ladybird
 
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A great follow on chapter, which leaves the reader wondering if is was Joy who screamed.Love the descriptives throughout these parts, forgot to say in the review for part two Wonderful at putting the reader at the scene.

caf© typo

() If you think of anything else or just need to talk, please call me." Speech marks needed


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Linda,

    Thank you..sorry for being so behind...Carol

reply by ladybird on 24-Jun-2010
    You're welcome. Hope those eyes are okay now, Linda.
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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Oh, I was so happy to see this chapter right away, Carol. Your suspense and mystery really has me wrapped up in the story. Can't wait for more.
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Indy,

    Thank you so much...I really appreciate the kindness. Carol
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
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Oh man, you can't stop here. I was just getting into it. Now I know how people feel when they read mine. Great job with this section. Leave me wanting more. Well done.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Joy,

    Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
Belinda
 
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Hi again, Carol. Poor Carrie, having to be a witness to this crime. Good for her to have strong memories od what the man looked like. Interesting chapter. (You might like to correct the cafe s for evil Eddie's mischief and the ")


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Belinda,

    Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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  Rank:  5
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 Rank:  39
 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I'm impressed with Agent Stafford, does that count???? You have a winner on your hands. It written perfectly. You have a great plot. The characters are perfect. The dialogue is realistic and moves at a good pace.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Barbara,

    I should be whipped for my tardiness but please forgiv e me...life is upside down at the moment. Thank you for the awesome support and stars. Carol
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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 Rank:  304
 
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I am pleased you posted this so quickly after the last one. Again you have built up the tension and increased the suspense beautifully. You have me completely hooked on this and I anxiously look forward to the next installment.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Sasha,

    Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
RebelRose
 
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and she [ ] fingering his business ... I am not sure what word goes here. Oh, I thought this was only a 3-part, but apparently there is more. I am really psyched up to read more.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Patti.

    Thank you..the story grew a life of it's own I think...Carol
Comment by
missy98writer
 
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Carol,
another fabulous continuation of your story. Excellent narrative draws a reader into the well executed story. Wonderful character development, great dialogue, and very good imagery. Here are some examples of your descriptive writing:
As dark settled in, the search was called off until tomorrow at dawn. Nothing out of the ordinary had been discovered, but considering the recent discovery of the hiker, no one was dismissing any possibilities for the time being.
The brilliant full moon illuminated the walkway. The fresh mountain air tinged with touches of jasmine and wild flowers soothed Carrie's shattered nerves as she strolled toward her cabin. As she passed Joy's cabin, she was surprised to see her car still parked there. During their morning conversation, Joy had told her she was leaving shortly to drive to the city.

Sleep had been difficult, almost impossible, for Carrie. Sometime after midnight she'd succumbed to the need for assistance and took a sleeping pill. She rarely took any medicine, except on extreme occasions like this one. The events of the day and the effects of the medication kept her asleep well past her usual rising time. The loud banging on her cabin door stirred her from the drug induced stupor.

Carrie's throat restricted as fear tightened her chest. Last night rushed through her mind as she recalled wondering about Joy. Swallowing hard, she could barely speak, "Are you talking about Joy?"
rie collapsed on to the bed, burying her face in her hands. Natasha sat down beside her and cradled her friend's head against her chest. "We don't know that something's happened to her, Carrie. Everyone's drawing the worse possible conclusions without any evidence."

A reporter, standing near the Lodge entrance, was talking. "The label "serial killer" is being whispered in hushed tones among the citizens of the nearby town of Paradise Valley. With the discovery of Jenna White's body several days ago and now the disappearance of a local environmentalist, Joy Armstrong, fear is running rampant in this small peaceful area. The last time a violent crime was committed in the area was over thirty years ago."
"Don't be getting your panties in a wad, just yet, Nat. There is no proof that anyone else has been killed or that the two women are even connected in any way." Ceasing on an opportunity to show off her knowledge of law enforcement, Beth tried to reassure the girls.

"Sorry to bother you, ma'am. I'm Agent Stafford with the FBI. We'd like to ask you a few questions about Joy Armstrong."
"There's nothing to be nervous about, Carrie. My friends say I don't bite." His voice was warm and comforting, unlike the one he used earlier. It had been bold and forceful, a voice that demanded attention and got it. He patted Carrie's hand before ordering two coffees, two cream cheese bagels and whatever the house spread was.

"You did great, absolutely great. Excuse me while I call this information into my boss." He stood up, pulled a cell phone from his pocket, and stepped away from the table. Standing by one of the bay windows, he talked to someone and then returned to their table. "Got someone on it right now. We'll be checking out the maintenance people at the lodge and anyone in town. Thanks for your help."
I sense attraction between Carrie and Agent Stafford. I definitely look forward to you next posting. Awesome chapter - I give your a five and a 'virtual six.' Since six I can't do then I'm giving your a pump. Keep up your fabulous writing.
Melissa.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Melissa,

    I should be whipped for my tardiness in thanking you...just know that I always appreciate your support. Carol
Comment by
cheyennewy
 
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Hi Carol,

Before I forget several places the word 'cafe' looks like caf@...probably Evil Eddie! I hope Joy is okay but I fear she is not. Agent Stafford sounds like a hunk...apparently Carrie thinks so too! You have good characters and your descriptions of them is vivid in my mind. Hope you are working on the next chapter. Well done....blessings, chey


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Chey,

    Thanks for catching Eddie's mistakes..Smiles, Carol
Comment by
vandawalker
 
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This brings out a lot of intensity in the search and thoughts about the missing woman. Carrie seems to be closely involved with clues that might be helpful. The clues so far are few but interesting. Good work.


at(a)bar

don't you get dressed(,) and I'll meet you in the


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Thanks so much...Carol
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