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Reviews from
Evil in Paradise - Part 6


Mystery and Crime

  28 total reviews 
Comment by
Novelist of the Year!
For Six Years!
(2008, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015 and 2017)
Margaret Snowdon
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 Rank:  702
 
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Oh, now you've left me in suspence
to what's about to happen to Carrie.




who'd violate(d) - fancy this should be voilated

he'd so gentle placed
he'd so gently

in the middle of all of it.
in the middle of it all

(")Do you know where

fiance,
fiancee

his fiance,
his fiancee

Margaret


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Margaret,

    Thank you so much for your help, encouragement and support. Smiles, CArol
Comment by
JimLee
 
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Another excellent chapter. The suspense continues and the story is believable. Carrie's infatuation with Darryl is understandable because of her lingering doubt with James.
One typo I think needs to be corrected;

"Carrie, I'm so glad to hear your voice. Is any of those murders happening near you?" She sounded truly concerned."

I think in this case it should be "are any of those murders..."
Is, is singular as in IS THE MURDER...

Are is plural as in ARE THE MURDERS


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    JimLee,

    Thank you as always..Carol
Comment by
jadapenn
 
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Now in a good story you cannot kill your heroin off. It's just not done.
This chapter was very eventful and I enjoyed. But I don't want Carrie killed. You'll cheat your reader.
Luv jada


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Jada


    Thank you for all your support..Smiles, Carol
Comment by
ladybird
 
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I was so pleased to see this posted. And what a rotter you are, leaving the reader with a cliff-hanger like this, lol. I'm really enjoying this.If Carrie ever gets to see James, I bet it all goes pear shaped. Great read, hurry and post the next part, Linda.


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Linda,


    Thank you for all your support..Smiles, Carol

reply by ladybird on 02-Jul-2010
    You're welcome.
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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Well, there is one heck of a cliffhanger ending to your chapter, Carol. :-)
I'm so not feeling good about her boyfriend, James.
Good dialogue and I like the way you continue to develop her ambiguous feelings for Darryl. You're building suspense really well. Brooke


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Brooke,


    Thank you for all your support..Smiles, Carol
Comment by
dmjones
 
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I hate to be left hanging but I love it to. I'll be eager to read your next post. This is well written. Lots of suspense especially towards the end.

A couple of things:

sick pervert who'd violate Carrie's privacy. (Carol I'm not sure about this but I think you violated here. I read it several times.)

he'd so gentle(ly) placed upon her head.


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Donna,


    Thank you for all your support..Smiles, Carol
Comment by
misscookie
misscookie
 
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This is geat. The story is the first thing I read this morning it really ha me on the edge of my chair.
You truly know how to keep a reader interested in the story, I can't wait to see what is going to happen next.
this is a good write.


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Cookie...

    Thank you for your continued encouragement and following of my story. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day lately. I appreciate all your kind comments. Smiles, Carol

reply by misscookie on 24-Jun-2010
    I know what you mean about time that's why i tryto make every minute meanful to me.
    Got a doctors appoint at 9:oo am see what this C.A. T is about. talk too you later my friend.

reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    My thoughts are with you and praying for the best..Take care Carol
Comment by
shygirl21
 
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Another fab instalment! I loved this part of the story, and how you are adding to the suspense. This part totally gave me the heebie jeebies - I used to have this horrible recurring nightmare that someone had drilled a hole in my wall and was spying on me, so the fact you added a peeping tom to the mix definitely upped the fear factor!

Loved it as usual, eagerly awaiting next part :)

Pamela


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Pam,

    Thank you for your continued encouragement and following of my story. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day lately. I appreciate all your kind comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
Belinda
 
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Hi, Carol, pretty productive aren't you? Well, you should be, as your readers are waiting. Especially after delivering your final sentence in this intriguing chapter ...:)


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Belinda,

    Thank you for your continued encouragement and following of my story. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day lately. I appreciate all your kind comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
mtngalofnc
 
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Hi Carol,

Great chapter. Your imagery is such that the scene is clear and easily envisioned. The story well paced and the flow smooth. I did find a couple of nits...
"Nonsense, Taylor. Peter will be herein(space between these two words) a few hours.
-He usually ate lunch and dinner at the caf@...cafe
Other than these minor nits you have a great story with a fantastic ending. Can't wait to read more and thank you for sharing.

Becky


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
    Becky,

    Thank you for your continued encouragement and following of my story. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day lately. I appreciate all your kind comments. Smiles, Carol
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