Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Lune Poetry Contest
Deadline: Today!

True Story Flash
Deadline: In 4 Days

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jun 8th

Minute
Deadline: Jun 14th

Share Your Story
Deadline: Jun 16th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Evil in Paradise - Part 8


Mystery and Crime

  30 total reviews 
Comment by
Sharesy
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I knew James was a cheat, I just knew it. What a creep.
Just a couple of spags:

Called it her fun-buggy(.)"
"Fun-buggy? Son, this ole heap hasn't (had) any fun in years."

Can't wait for the next chapter.
Best regards,
Sharesy


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Sharesy,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
c_lucas
 
Review Stars
  
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is becoming a comedy of errors. It is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Looking forward to seeing how this turns out.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Charlie,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol

reply by c_lucas on 02-Jul-2010
    You're welcome, Carol. Put up a Do Not Disturb Sign. Charlie
Comment by
Sasha
Level 1 Pro
Premier Author
Sasha
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  31
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  304
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I am getting dizzy from all the twists and turns in this story. You are really doing a terrific job with this. You'll be happy to know I have bitten my nails down to the quick and am about ready to have a heart attack. Great writing and please hurry up and post another chapter!


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Sasha,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  37
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  58
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Begin Again,
James to me makes your story intriguing.
I know one thing for sure it is so clear how James is clever and devious person.

I can see how good you are raising the suspense in this story.

Gert


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Gert,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol

reply by Gert sherwood on 02-Jul-2010
    I understand Carol
    We have been away I doing better since I took a rest for a few days
    Gert
Comment by
dmjones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
James is a real snake. Another good addition to the story. This is really suspensful and good writing.

I put this fisrt sentence down because wheel seems to close together. I'm just not sure how to fix it so it makes sense.

behind the steering wheel, his white knuckles gripped the wheel.

For one thing, the white van with it's (its) noisy muffler



 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Donna,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh that scumbag. I suspected he was having an affair on Carrie. The no phone calls is a dead give away. I was hoping Carrie would walk in on him. What a creep. Great job.


I'm sure they'll high-tailed(tail)



 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Joy,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
vandawalker
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a cad! It seems Carrie doesn't attract the right kind of men in her life. This is rolling along very nicely with the plot continuing to build. I like the suspense and the conflict with the brothers and Smokey. Good writing.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    vandawalker,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
missy98writer
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Carol,
Another nail biting read of your well written story. Oh what tangle webs some of your characters are living. Excellent dialogue, great narrative and very descriptive writing. Her are some examples:
Miles away, steam billowed from beneath the hood of Hank's old car. Rufus sat behind the steering wheel, his white knuckles gripped the wheel. The flashing lights of the State Trooper's car reflected in the rear view mirror. Watching as the law officer approached, sweat beads peppered his forehead. He wiped them away with his hand.
Mick hadn't thought the situation could get worse, but after learning of his brother's dilemma, he realized he was wrong. Not only did he have to leave Colin and the girl alone on the mountain while he rescued Rufus, but he'd have to convince Hank to pick up the shipment in the Jeep.
"Problems?" Hank swallowed hard, his eyes shifting to his fellow officers. Lowering his voice, he walked outside the building, making sure no one was around. "What the hell do you mean, we got problems?"
"Why the change the plans?" The routine had been the same for the past two years. He always drove to a secluded area on the outskirts of Chattum Hole, waited for the black Escalade to drive by, tossing the package from the window before disappearing into the night. The next day, Mick deposited the funds in a post office box, known only to him and an invisible recipient. None of them had ever seen the person inside the Escalade or whomever picked up the money.

Meanwhile, in a cabin a few hundred yards from Hank, Peter handed Taylor a glass of wine. His adorable girlfriend was in a panic, and so far, he'd been unable to reassure her.
After several minutes on the line with directory assistance, Taylor was finally connected with James' office. When Deb answered, Taylor explained the situation and was provided the hotel number. Promising to call back as soon as she contacted Carrie, she hung up and dialed.
"She was coming here? To Myrtle Beach?" James was calm. His voice never wavered, disclosing anything about Carrie's whereabouts.
Rolling over, he pulled the well-endowed blonde's naked body closer to him. "Now where were we?"

JAMES IS A *astard! And a cheater too boot. Thinks look bad for Carrie. There a state troopers, park rangers, her fiancee and others involved. I definitely look forward to your next posting. Brilliant writing, my friend.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Melissa,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
cheyennewy
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Carol,

James is a real jerk isn't he? Not to mention all the other bad things that come to mind about him. Poor Carrie what if Mick gives her to Colin? Yikes you do keep the suspense up, girl! I'm glad I don't have to wait too long for the chapters as the suspense is killing me (smile) Blessings, chey


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Chey,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
ladybird
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another great chapter. I'm really enjoying how this is panning out. The characters are all well rounded. A joy to read.


"Why the change () the plans?" should (to) be here


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    ladybird,

    Thanks for catching my error..Appreciate the help. Carol

reply by ladybird on 02-Jul-2010
    You're welcome, Carol, Linda.
  Previous Page  1  -2-  3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Promote your favorite work here with the Reader Weekly certificate.

Click here for info.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy