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Reviews from
Evil in Paradise - Part 8


Mystery and Crime

  30 total reviews 
Comment by
mtngalofnc
 
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Hi Carol,

My, but you are the story teller! Interesting and held my attention throughout. The entire chapter leaves the reader asking questions. I did find a couple of nits you might want to look at...

"Why the change the (in) plans?"
-"For one thing, the white van with it's noisy muffler will track (attrack) attention...
Other than these 2 nits you have a fantastic story and what an ending! Can't wait for the next chapter and thank you for sharing.
Becky


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Becky,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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Typo - Why the change the plans
Boy, that James is one cool customer - lying about Carrie's kidnapping, shacked up with a blond, not caring even a tiny small bit that she might at that very moment be in the middle of being raped, tortured and killed. Your dialogue is good, showing the anxiety of her friends, the inhumanity of the kidnappers, the evil coolness of James. Brooke


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Brooke,

    I always appreciate your help and kind words...I feel you understand my characters and they become real (though despicable) to you. Thank you so much...Carol
Comment by
ulster3
 
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Hello Begin Again.
This is a holding and exceptional write. It means I must try to get to your Port and read the other parts. This part does hold it's own though, but I want to get the characters straight. Thanks for a good read, and I'm sorry I wasn't reading all along.
Fondly, Rebecca


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Rebecca,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol

reply by ulster3 on 02-Jul-2010
    Hi again, Carol. Don't worry about your response being late. Take care of yourself. Hugs, Rebecca
Comment by
thunderbolt
 
 
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Good suspense, interesting. Made me want to read the entire story. Suspenseful story are only good if they are gripping and this one was. I also liked the ending, although I suspected her to be hurting I hadn't expected her to be dead and James to be a monster. The part with Rufus broken down on the side of the road was good too, it showed all the proper emotions and seemed realistic enough.
A little more detail on the plot would be good, just short details on their moonshine/kidnapping business and why the Feds were on to them.
I always enjoy story with a lot of action, as this one has, and realistic characters like these. If this scene was on a back cover of a novel, I'd buy it.

Thunderbolt

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thunderbolt,

    Thank you very much for your kind and gracious words. They are deeply appreciated. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
JimLee
 
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The story is moving along very well. The scenes are well described and the dialog between all characters is believable and natural. Very good !

I would add one word in this sentence;

"Fun-buggy? Son, this ole heap hasn't any fun in years." The Trooper shook his head.

... hasn't (had) or (Seen) any fun...


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    JimLee,

    Thanks for catching the spag...Smiles, Carol
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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  Rank:  5
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 Rank:  39
 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
James deserves to be shot, may I please do it? Pretty please? I hope Taylor quickly realizes that James lied to her and people start searching for Carrie. You have a definite winner on your hands with this one.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Barbara,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol

reply by barbara.wilkey on 02-Jul-2010
    It's a fantastic story. You have a winner on your hands. I understand the life happens issue. This summer had been one of those for me. I am not sure I can take anymore life happens, right now.
Comment by
jadapenn
 
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Excellent
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These brothers are in a frenzy. It seems everything is going wrong and hopefully it backfires on James with his blonde.
Nice fast paced chapter. Where is Darryl before Colin gets to Carrie.
Good job. luv jada


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Jada,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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Oh, that James is one nasty bad guy, Carol! I hope Taylor goes to Darryl with her worries about Carrie. Another wonderful chapter ... and thanks for posting them without too much time between chapters so I get my curiosity satisfied!
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Indy,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
Comment by
misscookie
misscookie
 
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Excellent
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This story is getting beter each chapter. i rususe to try to think whats going to happen next.
Youi expresss everything so clear that a rader would love to keep reading your stories.
this is a good write.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Cookie,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol

reply by misscookie on 02-Jul-2010
    There is no need to apologies you can't plan life. Life plans you.I know how it is when a story controll a writer. Look at my story "Clairvoyance."And as long as you and yours are well don't worry about tha thanking stuff.
    Have a blessed ansd safe Hoilday.
Comment by
RebelRose
 
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Excellent
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they'll high-tail[ed] ... leave off the [ed]
Well, I was righht about that part, anyway, James cheating on Carrie. Another great chapter. This is really getting good.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2010



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Patti,

    My apologies for my delay in thanking you for all your continued support and for enjoying the story. I appreciate every encouraging comment.

    Another of those unexpected "life happens" has knocked at my door claiming much of my time...I apologize for my delay in thanking you and in writing. I certainly didn't plan on the story being so long, but it took on a life of its own as well. Hopefully, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for both.

    Smiles....Carol
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