Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

5-7-5 Poem
Deadline: Today!

This Sentence Starts The Story
Deadline: In 5 Days

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 22nd

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 24th

Horror Writing Contest
Deadline: Jul 27th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Evil in Paradise - Part 10


Mystery and Crime

  30 total reviews 
Comment by
shygirl21
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Whoa! Terrifying ending! If Darryl doesn't save her I think I might be very upset lol. Please say he'll save her! He will...right?

Pamela x


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2010



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
    Pamela,

    I think I really enjoyed writing this one..I hope I can do it again soon. Carol
Comment by
RobinWrites
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another nicely written, intense, action filled chapter. I am sad to hear that the next chapter is the last, but I'm anxious to read on. I was so intent on finishing this read I didn't notice any problems with it.


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    As always I can't thank you enough...Carol
Comment by
allinmyhead
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
First paragraph really sets the scene well. There is a slight feeling of relief for Carrie.
The second and third paragraphs whip the reader right back into the seriousness of the situation.
Her fear of not knowing what might trigger Colin is contagious. This is actually quite a horror-inducing piece of writing. Well done. The idea of someone being abducted is terrifying in itself, but abduction by unpredictable psychos, that's beyond terror.
Your ending was absolutely a scene from a movie. I could see the fade-out and feel the adrenalin rush, wondering what the next scene would bring.
Good writing here.

Nits and Bits:
This hit me in the second line: You might want to consider adding the word "After" to the beginning of "Struggling" to read After struggling for hours,...

Makeshift is accepted as a compound word, as is ongoing.


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    allinmyhead,

    Have taken a second look and made adjustments...appreciate your help. Carol
Comment by
fionageorge
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Carol, the length of the story is not an issue when it is so well written, and such a pleasure to read. Great descriptive narrative, as always, and your abiity to bring dialogue to life is also excellent.
I look forward to your final chapter, my friend.
Warmest regards, Marijke


 Comment Written 11-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    Thank you so much for your encouragement and for enjoying the story. Carol
Comment by
mtngalofnc
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Carol,

Another great chapter. Interesting and filled with suspense. You imagery is such that I could easily envision these scenes. Hope they make it in time to save Carrie. Thank you for sharing this well written chapter.

Becky


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    Becky,

    Thanks for sticking with the story. I appreciate the loyalty. Carol

reply by mtngalofnc on 18-Jul-2010
    Your welcome. It is a great story.
Comment by
L.lora
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow! Exciting, exhillerating,
a head long rush of adrenalin,
carries your reader through your
well crafted narratives and dialogues
with ease. And then you go and leave
us with a cliff hanger...pooh! I hope
you are writing my friend...we have
a weary eye on you...LOL. no nits or
spags, Lora


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    Thanks for sticking with the story. I appreciate the loyalty. Carol
Comment by
Belinda
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I understand how the story gets a life of its own. It happens, especially as the story line is too complicated to be hurried. This chapter tells a lot. I admire the way you describe the retarded Colin and his ways. I'm waiting for a happy ending now ... :)


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    I'm glad you enjoyed the story...Thank you so much...Carol
Comment by
hotstuff
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow, an action packed chapter that terrified me. I can't stand the thought of that poor girl being trapped with that monster. The suspense is gripping. I hope your next posting is soon.


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    I am thrilled you enjoyed it...Carol
Comment by
2012 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Realist101
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  428
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Jesus ABOVE!! THIS is like Texas Chainsaw or something! Jeez Carol, I am creeped out! I love this kind of story, it is terrible, there is nothing scarier than a person who is absolutely uncontrollably insane. I am making a bet with myself how this goes!! ") Don't worry, keep going! Love, Susan


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    Susan

    Thanks for sticking with the story. I appreciate the loyalty. Carol
Comment by
minopavlic
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
No need for opologies, this is nail biting at its best. You bring the plot and characters very much to life. I'm soory to hear it comes to its conclusion in the next chapter, but then, we can just wait in anticipation for our next adventure.
Mino


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
    My sincere thanks for your support. I truly appreciate it. Carol
  -1-  2 3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Burial of a Pharaoh and Ghosts.
Hatshepsut - Egypt's Greatest Woman Pharaoh


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy