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80 Word Flash Fiction
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Reviews from
Chow Time


My Gain Your Loss - An Accident?

  34 total reviews 
Comment by
RobinWrites
 
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This short story brought memories back of a mutt we loved that devoured a whole pumpkin pie. Thanks for the memories and a cute little story.


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Robin, I would be lost without the constant love of my little mutts. Glad you enjoyed. Smiles, CArol
Comment by
flygirl254
 
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Oh man!!! I'd be cooking up that dog!! Well, not really, but you know what I mean! LOL!

This is a terrific microfiction story. You did well following the prompt along with the rule about making sure the story is not completely dialogue. There's a definite plotline and even with these few words, you've made us care about the outcome and wonder what happens next.

I still think that dog is going to be in BIG trouble!

I don't see any problems with the story as far as SPAG. You did a great job and I enjoyed reading the story!

Teresa


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    flygirl,

    Yes, I think he will be in BIG TROUBLE...at least with one of the sisters. I can imagine his happy tongue lapping away though. Thanks for the review...Carol
Comment by
MJMuraco
 
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I loved reading this because it made me laugh. It is funny and well written. I haven't been on Fan Story because I lost my 57 year old, love of my life, brother on father's day to lung cancer. He was doing well and it came as quite a shock. I still question the care he got from his wife as she has lied about so many things that occurred that day. I got the phone call at 12:20 A.M. and he was gone when I got to the hospital. I'll write something about that later when I get my head back on. My father-law passed three weeks later at the age of 88. I'm still reeling but hope to get back to normal, whatever that is. This is the first night that I've been on Fan Story in an effort to get normal again.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    MJ,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend...I am currently struggling with the possibility of losing my honey (each day we discover another health problem - blood flow, kidney failing, etc)so I too can't be on the site much. But knowing that there are others who care and think about us does help. I hope you find the strength to make it through this painful time because your loved ones are watching and cheering you on. Take care - Carol

reply by MJMuraco on 27-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your caring and kind words. I hope all is ok with you. Keep in touch.
Comment by
Sharesy
 
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This was cute. I'm assuming Karrie left the door open so the family dog could eat her sister's pies. That made me smile. this was well written, with no spags. I liked this story very much.
Best regards,
sharesy


 Comment Written 20-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Sharesy,

    My time is so limited of late to enjoy what I love - writing, but I greatly appreciate knowing that even my short little bits of whimsy are appreciated. Thank you so much for your kindness.
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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Apparently this is a short short flash fiction. You told a sweet cute and funny story in a small amount of words. I think my review may be longer. LOl. Nicely done. Is this a contest?
hugs book


 Comment Written 20-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    My time is so limited of late to enjoy what I love - writing, but I greatly appreciate knowing that even my short little bits of whimsy are appreciated. Thank you so much for your kindness.
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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  Rank:  616
 
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Great story, Carol! I think anyone who has a dog, has found something mysteriously vanished. Poor Kaitlyn ... she'll be so disappointed.
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Indy,

    Yes, I remember a sub sandwich disappearing while reaching for milk in the frig...so much for lunch! Smiles, Carol
Comment by
missy98writer
 
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Carol,
your story is cute. Here are some examples that stood out in your flash fiction story:

The aroma of freshly baked cherry and apple pies filled the room. Kaitlyn was confident she'd just finished baking this year's County Fair first prize entry.

Karrie prayed her pumpkin and praline pies would wow the judges. Her pies were nestled in containers, away from prying eyes and hungry stomachs. She didn't care about winning, but she did want to beat her twin sister.

The hungry canine seized his opportunity. Dinner was waiting.

Your flash fiction is very well written. Excellent imagery- I could see the twin sister's slaving over their entries in the contest and the dog eating both when they go out to get the car. You story is delightful. . .Melissa.


 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Melissa,

    I remember reaching for milk in the frig only to discover my sandwich had disappeared...The loveable mutt ate well! Smiles, CArol
Comment by
vandawalker
 
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I've had that happen to my cookies before so I can relate. Maybe I missed something. Was one twin's baking in safe containers and one twin's wasn't. So probably the one who won is the one who had hers in containers? It was unclear for me. The plot line is great.


 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Yes, one twin baked early and put her things in safe keeping...unfortunately, the other did not. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
RebelRose
 
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Oh, how mad Kaitlyn will be. Karrie was wise to put hers in containers and away from impending disaster. Good flash fiction story.


 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Patti,

    Glad you enjoyed...Thank you. Carol
Comment by
dmjones
 
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Hi Carol, This is an excellent flash fiction. The hungry dog is in for a treat. Apple and Cherry pie I hope he doesn't get a stomach ache:). This is well written with no errors.


 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Donna,

    I remember reaching in the frig for milk only to discover my sandwich was gone...the adorable mutt was licking his chops...Carol
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