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Reviews from
Moonlight Rendezvous - Part 1


Remembering the past can be dangerous...

  22 total reviews 
Comment by
MJames82
 
 
Excellent
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Great story. It took me in right from the beginning and held my eyes captive right up until the end. Can't wait to see what happens next! Very well done.


 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010
    I appreciate your kindness and encouragment more than you'll ever know..smiles, Carol
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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Okay, it's to parts. Good, I was like, WHAT? what happened? I was hooked from the first line.

After carefully snipping the chain on the gate, Jack let the lock fall to the ground. The metal gate whined when he shoved it open. Bowing at the waist, he extended his arm toward the opening.

"The sparkling waters of Whipton's town pool awaits you, my lady."

Katie glanced nervously through the gate and then back at Jack. "Are you sure this is okay?"

(A little nit-picking, but just here alone you mention gate three times. Maybe use fence, or door, or opening.)

Taking a deep breath, she slipped through the gate into the pool area.(Now its in my head and I notice it more. LOL)


I think we should tell the police what we saw that night and let them decide(-d) if it would have made a difference."

hugs book


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol
Comment by
IndianaIrish
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  536
 
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Oh, I'm so glad this will continue, Carol! I love your longer stories that you divide into parts. Great dialogue with much mystery and a character that's a scumbag. Can't wait for the next installment.
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol
Comment by
missy98writer
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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Carol,
part one in you story Moonlight Rendezvous is s very written and a riveting read. Your words paint a vivid picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, great dialogue and good descriptive writing. In the first part of your story you established a setting, characters and a conflict. It's good your back because I've missed your stories. You description of Jack are wonderful such as: "His million dollar smile sparkled like diamonds as they stood beneath the street light. His smoky blue eyes devoured her, sending an unexpected, but familiar tingle through her body." You and Lola do a fabulous job with your descriptions. What happened to the professor? Oh, what was in the water near Katie? A body. I have a feeling this has something to do with a werewolf, vampire or a serial killer. I'm glad you back and hopefully posting the second part of this story soon. Thanks for the excellent chapter.
Melissa.


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol
Comment by
anabelle
 
Review Stars
 
 
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Aah! Interesting story. This must have been started for the body prompt. I saw it too, but passed it up. I think you should have entered, though. This looks really good. It sounds like Jack wants to revisit old times with Katie.

Thanks for the good read.

Regards, anabelle


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol

reply by anabelle on 17-Oct-2010
    No problem. I hope this one is smaller than the last.
Comment by
Writeaway...
 
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Your certainly getting into the full swing of writing again Begin Again, thumbs up. I enjoyed this add, I can find nothing to suggest for improvment and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, keep writing!! :)


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  60
 
Excellent
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Hi Carol,
Well it looks like your story needs a second part, why? you once again left your ending where I know that I want to read more.

smiles
Gert


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol

reply by Gert sherwood on 17-Oct-2010
    Please don't worry Carol
    Gert
Comment by
dmjones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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A great start to the story. Jack seems like a typical political figure always trying to make sure their butt is covered. Well done

One thing:

Maybe the car was going to (too) fast


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol
Comment by
ladybird
 
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What an ending!
This body could put the pair in all kinds of entanglement.
This drew me in from the start.I feel uneasy about Jack. What with Katie wanting to tell the police about the professors death, and him worried it will mar his chances at becoming a Senator could put her in danger. Can't wait for part two.


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol

reply by ladybird on 18-Oct-2010
    You're welcome. I hope all is well with you, Linda.
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  88
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  60
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  29
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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Oh this would have been perfect for the contest. You have created such well-developed story. I love cliff-hangers so I guess it is better that we have more to come. I can't wait to find out who the body is. Your story is the kind that holds the reader's attention.


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Just when I thought I was climbing out of one of life's avalanches, another has found me..I apologize for my delay in thanking you for your considerate review...Carol
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