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Reviews from
Mistaken Identity - Part 5


Richard and Shannon collide....

  29 total reviews 
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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Good story. I found a few tiny nits. nothing major.

Shannon's blood shot eyes glanced at him. (I think it's bloodshot eyes)

Gears started to turn in Richard's mind. A plan was quickly forming and Stanley was the key. He extended his hand to Stanley, "Excuse my temper. I apologize. Guess I got rattled."

Stanley timidly shook his hand, nodding.

"Oh, come on, Stanley. You were just trying to help. I won't forget it." Richard patted Stanley's trembling shoulder, "Let's try again. Friends?"

I know it's hard with two males, but be careful with the Stanleys here. You have too many.)

hugs book


 Comment Written 10-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol

reply by bookishfabler on 22-Nov-2010
    I'm so very much will. I hope your hubby will get better very soon.
    hugs Heidi
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  33
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 Rank:  59
 
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Hello Carol,
great chapter you kept my interest with your dialogue and again, you have a wonderful closure with the scene of a shower. Good lead for you next chapter.

Gert


 Comment Written 09-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
jadapenn
 
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Oh boy, we're in for some fun in that shower. Now not having read much of the previous chapters, I guess Ricky boy was the one who raped Shannon. Seems quite a sticky situation and now Richard has her address. I think Matt needs to appear on the scene.
Lots of intrigue and a nice fast pace. I liked the chapter. luv jada


 Comment Written 09-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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Sometimes, things can get really screwed up. This is a very well written post with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good job.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
fictionwriter
 
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I have one thing that really bothered me. How did Richard know Stanley's name. Stanley never introduced himself, yet Richard called him by name, might be an error you overlooked. Other than that. Great job.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
missy98writer
 
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Carol,
part five of Mistaken Identity is terrific and extremely well written. You paint a vivid picture in the readers head. Poor Shanon lived through being raped. The tension was thick as molasses in this chapter. The fools at the Hotel has mistaken Richard for his brother. Stanly foolishly gave the creep Shannon's address. What a moron! I wasn't shocked Georgia was banging Richard. I wonder who's in the steamy bathroom. Is Georgia about to be raped or killed. Oh, I can't wait to read part six. Your dialogue is marvelous. Keep up the awesome writing, my friend. I love crime and mystery fiction even more than romance. This reminded me of an episode of Law and Order. Here's some useless trivia, on the BBC channel I watch Law and Order UK. The show is just as great as the Law and Order series here.
Melissa.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
chita
 
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Your artwork compliments your writing-you are descriptive and write with emotion-you draw the reader into this chapter and make me want to read the other chapters-I love how at the ending the lady although has some age on her-still has what it takes--great job.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
2010 Short Works Writer Of The Year
lola29
 
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This was fast-paced and filled with excitement--loved it! I can't believe no one has suspected that Cassandro looks a bit different at times.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 22-Nov-2010
    Please forgive my tardiness in replying and telling you how much I appreciate your support. I have been spending the majority of my time in doctors' offices, hospitals and traveling out of state to a University Hospital. My "honey" is seriously ill..We thought it was under control and now this bacteria is back with a vengenance. It's in his sinus cavity and facial skin and if it gets to his brain...well, it could be something they can't control. We are leaving shortly for the hospital again.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers..Carol
Comment by
misscookie
misscookie
 
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You did it again another great chapter.
You are so blessed to be able to write so many grand stories. And again there was never a dull moment.
This is a great write.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your encouragment and support is greatly appreciated. Hope you have a great day...Smiles, Carol

reply by misscookie on 08-Nov-2010
    Your welcome. and I will do my best to have a nice day. eheateher id grtting messy rain wind lightsnow since this morning.
Comment by
daniela.albu
 
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So Richard is taken for Matt and the chapter ends with a sensual love encounter with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. Confusion after confusion is created by small episodes but there is a need for the action to grow at a quicker pace.


 Comment Written 08-Nov-2010



reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your encouragment and support is greatly appreciated. Hope you have a great day...Smiles, Carol
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