Hypocritical Influence
Save the baby, dump the rest
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Reviews from
Providence


Fate Trumps Life's Deal.

  127 total reviews 
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  88
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  68
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This story has angst and violence rolled up in a mystery. It seems he was safer in the bar than in world. Murdered after deciding not to drink. It seems he has stopped drinking for good now.
I like the setting description and character development.
Keep writing
Joan


 Comment Written 27-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
    Thanks so much Joan. :) Bob

reply by dragonpoet on 01-Mar-2020
    You are most welcome, Bob.
    Joan.

reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
    :) Bob
Comment by
Raffaelina Lowcock
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  50
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  42
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  48 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  17
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What an ending! The misery of battling the disease over and over and succeeding only to end up dead and robbed is so appalling. Was that his Purgatory, here on earth? Who knows? The story was so well crafted and descriptively detailed. The nuances that alcoholics experience were very well outlined as were the thoughts that addiction produces. The reader was submerged into the scene from moment to moment, praying for strength to resist. This is a six-star story and I do not have them. You would tell me not to use them, anyway.


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Thank you so much my friend. :) Good analysis and review. Bob
Comment by
cvcopac
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Providence, indeed--quit drinking and be run over by the alcohol delivery truck. I enjoyed this one-big time.

You wrote Boone's alcoholism from the inside out while tapping, and developing, his character. Quite the narcissus. He convinces himself that failure is a victory--he can always go back to rehab, a hero, with real knowledge next time. Man that's the real stuff. The character build up is teriffic and the details of his fight with himself over the free beer are a science--the characterization of his aimlessness at the gaming tables and ending up at the bar--science. He's saved from himself by Charlie, who, know doubt, has pulled many near drowning victims from the same hole.

The finale. A brief history, some detail--successful rehab and plans for a new begining. The trip. I never seen this comming. You wove the robbery/murder in without a hitch. Boone's dying/dead and discovered body (excellent simile-deer hit by car) is a true tragedy.

No ulterior motives, just a robbery victim, and damn that kid had a rough liver.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2012



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2012
    Hi, Kenny. Hey, thanks a lot for going back in the archives for this one. It was one of my favorite endings. You will find , if you ever have time, that most of my stuff does follow the "O Henry" path with surprise endings. My very favorite...in fact published in an Atlanta magazine is called "The Interview" It goes way back a few years, but is in my port if you ever have the time. It's really not that long as I remember either. Thanks again for the review, Kenny. you have a good handle on the writer's motives and voice. Bob

reply by cvcopac on 28-Aug-2012
    Who doesn't love O Henry? I'll be searching for "The Interview." The name of the story is intriquing. That's exceptional writing, Bob, but already duly noted, hence my five stars. I'll save the exquisite gold for the needy. Kenny

reply by cvcopac on 28-Aug-2012
    The ending was clever--you reminded us of his youth and alcohol abuse: the suprise ending enlarged his circumstances--a born loser, providence.
Comment by
Jean Lutz
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
At least he died a winner over the demon of alcohol.It is sad that some lives are plagued with so much pain. Very well written and I wish you well with the entry.


 Comment Written 05-Jul-2011



reply by the author on 07-Jul-2011
    Hi, Jean. Yes, I agree his fate could have been alcohol, huh? Thanks so much for then review...Sorry I took so long to get back to you. Bob
Comment by
dinoscribe
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As ever packed with vivid detail and emotional description. You draw the reader right in to the situation and the head of the protagonist.
Beautifully written and so very realistic.
There is nothing in this that I could see would benefit from any change, nor would I have the gall to suggest it. As you ranking shows, you write at a far more superior level than I do.


 Comment Written 03-Jul-2011



reply by the author on 07-Jul-2011
    Hi, Angie. Sorrythis has taken so long. Your kind comments are very very encouraging...Thanks so much. Bob
Comment by
dbmccarter
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  481
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I read this several times. I liked that Boone's was always struggling but trying. However, the end shows that sometimes out fate is already set in motion. Great use of the rules. This should do well in the contest.


 Comment Written 03-Jul-2011



reply by the author on 07-Jul-2011
    Hi, dbm...(May I have your first name by the way? So much more comfortable corresponding. LOL..I truly appreciate your time and your kind remarks. Bob

reply by dbmccarter on 07-Jul-2011
    my name is Diane. I really enjoy your work.

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2011
    Thankyou so much, Diane. :) Bob
Comment by
Mrs Jones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is decidedly one of your best short stories Bobbie. Not one error as far as I can see and the tension in waiting for him to take that sip found me holding my breathe. Kudos to you my pal. Great description.
Cheers
Rose


 Comment Written 26-Jun-2011



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
    Hi, Rosie. Thank you very much. I sort of liked this one myself. I was a bit worried about the ending, but it seems to have flown okay...LOL..I appreciate you so much, Rosie. Thanks for the sixstars too. XXXX000 Bobbie
Comment by
denhagan
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This was a very interesting and well-written story about a young man and his stuggles in overcoming alcoholism. At the end of the story, it seems he was successful, yet he unfortunately was killed by someone with a gun.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2011



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
    Hi, Dennis. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this piece. I appreciate it very much.

reply by denhagan on 26-Jun-2011
    You're welcome. Dennis
Comment by
bhogg
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  101
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  312
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Bob - like all of your work, this was first class. Well written with excellent editing and a pace that was perfect. I've told you before that your work always makes me want to skip to the bottom to see what happened. I didn't, but sure wanted to. Extremely well done and professional! Warm regards, Bill


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2011



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
    You are something else, my friend. Thanks so much for the wonderful confidence in my writing. Bob

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
    And thanks again for the six stars, Bill. Bob
Comment by
anabelle
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Irony at play, here, and it works really well with the AA theme. Charlie managed to support Boone into making a good decision for him, but in the end, something else (or someone else) got Boone. Great twist at the end.

Really good story. Best of luck in the contest.

Regards, anabelle


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2011



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
    Thanks so much anabelle. I sincerley appreciate your time and your review remarks. Bob
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