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Reviews from
The Vampire Sonnets-Part II


Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Temptation"

The Saga Continues

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
Elizabeth Clark
 
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Does she really feel that she can control the hungar of a man that lives for the tastes of blood? I am shocked that this fool would so quickly fall into this set up. LOL Well done my friend. I have really enjoyed all of this thought provoking talented work. I think I am now caught up LOL


 Comment Written 06-May-2005


Comment by
Ebon Owl
 
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That was so strong. He is struggling so hard to fight the vampire urge to drink her blood. I hope he wins. This one had me on the edge of my seat.

My best,

Michelle :)


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2005


Comment by
New Day Rising
 
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Great imagery and sensuality, but sensuality meaning all the senses involved, sight, taste, smell and touch. Perfect title for this one. I always read these more than once, the first time for the over story and enjoyment of the turn of phrase and imagery. The second for the detailed analysis of how you write. For example line two:
"Beneath the leaden shroud of London rain,"
You use "leaden shroud" to describe grey "clouds/rain"
"shroud" has parts of both of those words "r" and "oud", and the "beneath" and "leaden" are assonance companions, "ea". Also, the "leaden" and "London" are alliteration and assonance complements. It may not have seemed like much for you to write that way, but it is pure talent and skill because you do that will almost everyline you write. Success is in the details and the amount of detail is tremendous for those you care to look.
Another fine write my friend,
Robert
p.s. I had to LOL at you authors comments, a little frustrated I see,
"not a stand-alone piece. Please, for God's sake, understand that. Sheesh!!!!! " Dont let em get to you.


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2005


Comment by
danielg29
 
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This didn't make sense. It seemed like a story that started somewhere in the middle. Just kidding! Sorry, I imagine you are getting pretty aggravated from your author comments so I had to pick on you. Okay, the poem. I don't know where you are going with this story but I will tell you what I am rooting for from the side line. "Do it! Bite her! You know you want to taste her!" But that's just me. Yea, yea I know, true love and what not. Hey I'm all for it but if he bites her won't they both be immortal. Now that's what I call true love.


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2005


Comment by
mansell
 
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You need to find a musician and have this excellent collection applied to opera or a musical. Nice work Marrillion! Congratulations on the publication of your poetry, "Kindred Trinity."
mansell


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2005


Comment by
Storyweaver
 
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I was wondering when his true nature would be fighting to the surface. I thought perhaps he might lose hold of his Desire to be something other than the demon that possesses him. I imagine him to bite Maggie and then turn her into a vamp too,
(after realizing he would loose her.)
I guess I just don't have a strong belief in will power, or life changing love..What a cynic, eh? LOL!
Great chapter!
Weaver.


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2005


Comment by
Grace King
 
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Dave,
I feel the need to carry my vampire stake with me before I fall headlong into the pool of evil.
The yearning for blood may just transend Tristan's love for Maggie yet.
The mounting tension is very palpable in this well written work.
I await the next chapter with stake in my hand. lol
all my best
flo


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Uh oh, I was wondering when this was going to come up my friend. You do another tremendous job of expressing Tristan's torture here.

"But in reality, my palate pined
And teased my ragged will with Maggie's scent."
-Love those lines, so expressive.

Can Tristan keep his promise? we'll have to wait and see won't we....


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2005


Comment by
madbaggage
 
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Oooo!
Great depiction of withdrawal. Ever given up smoking? LOL
Love the description of the stress showing on his face.


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2005


Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  266
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  191
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  52
Script Rating
 
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I knew it. Now, will he turn her or kill her? Or will Love Win Through? Not on your life... not with the melancholy Marillion's pen at the helm!

Waiting for the next bit, as usual.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2005


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