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Reviews from
The Vicious Circle


'Hell is personal, Dorothy'

  50 total reviews 
Comment by
tinams
 
Review Stars
 
 
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I really enjoyed reading your 'Vicious Circle' story. You set the scene very well by describing the misty night surrounding the lone park bench. You gave a number of clues as to Sam's identity,and I liked how your built your story by the give and take between Dorothy and him. Very ingenuitive :) Tina


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you, Tina. I'm delighted you enjoyed the story. Peace, Lee
Comment by
ennahanid
 
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This was such an interesting and entertaining read this morning. Very clever I thought and although it is fiction it rang very true.

Thank you for entertaining me this morning...Dinah


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you so much, Dinah. I'm delighted you were entertained. Peace, Lee
Comment by
2011 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Erik Heen
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  639
 
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Awesomw twist, Lee, ans the perfrect way to lead up to it. I should've guessed it when his name was Sam with bushy white hair and white suit, but it never clicked.

I'm just glad I didn't read your author's notes first.

No one does description like you do. I pictured this whole scene as vividly as if I'd been there.

And the witty back-and-forth jabs were awesome too. They sliced each other up pretty thoroughly, eh?

Stellar, as usual, Lee.

~ Erik


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thanks, Erik. I'm really glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
robina1978
 
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I can see it is well written, but found it a bit of a pity you did not mention to look up these writes till your foot note. Maybe it would have been better to make this slightly more clear in your story. I love the round table. And this is certainly a very original story for the contest. Best wishes.


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you for your review and suggestions, robina. I try not to rely on author's notes as a prelude. I believe a story should stand on its own. I had every confidence that an audience of writers would be well aquainted with Sam Clemens, Dorothy Parker and The Algonquin Round Table. Thank you again. Peace, Lee

reply by robina1978 on 03-Apr-2012
    I am Dutch, so that probably makes it different. Ine
Comment by
jshep
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Bravo, hw. This was delightful to read and virtually flawless in its presentation. Smiled to your reference 'old Connecticut mothball - moldy King Aruthur's Court.' That was one of my favorite books when growing up.

'Involuntary spark who ignites my damnation.'- a fabulous line with so many others I could also acknowledge.

Had to look up cloche- a great word and shows the wonderful expanse of your vocabulary. You develop the characters with expertise through your subtle descriptions, which were such a pleasure to read. I am still thinking about the end. 'he patiently waited for what he knew would come.' 'the man simply appeared - as if formed from the mist.' I was not sure if I was supposed to know who was coming next, but I don't.

This is an exceptional and creative story in every way. Well done. Joyce

'do you think it (it's) the same for me?'


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you for this wonderful review, Joyce. I loved Twain as a kid, and I still do. He gets deeper as I get older. At the end, I'm suggesting that Sam will vanish from the bench, only to reappear to greet another writer he will never able to read. He has no consciousness between his visits to the bench, therefore, to him they are continual. Perhaps I need to go back and reinforce that point. I can't thank you enough for your encouraging words. Peace, Lee
Comment by
N.K. Wagner
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  184
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  Rank:  455
 
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Now there's a hell I never considered - to continually meet great writers and never get to sample their writings. Exquisite torture. Beautifully written, Lee. :) Nancy


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Nancy, thank you so much. As Sam said, 'Hell is personal, Nancy.' Peace, Lee

reply by N.K. Wagner on 03-Apr-2012
    I'll bet he never used my name once, Lee. *grin* :) Nancy
Comment by
LancsLass
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Oh, my, I've been struggling to finish my entry into this competition and now I'm wondering why! LOL

How marvelous, what an imagination you have. Crisp dialogue as ever, fascinating story, clever idea and it all takes place on the bench. Well done.

The detail you bring to your characters makes them real, and again, the language matches. Well, 'your wife's dairy' jarred, for me it didn't quite work but probably just me.

One tiny typo: 'and bit down like (a) bricklayer.'

Well done indeed and good luck in this competition, as they say on Strictly Come Dancing, 'you're the one to beat' :)


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you so much, Anna. I've been trying to think of an angle on this picture for months. Finally I just sat down and started writing. I'm so glad you enjoyed. I look forward to reading your entry. Peace, Lee
Comment by
janalma
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I am very hesitant to review this as it is so well written and I am rather in awe of your talent. I do have a couple suggestions. I hope you don't mind?

"He nodded again. 'Some.(,) He said it was another name...

...bit down like (a) bricklayer."

I am impressed with your work here. I very much enjoyed hearing from old Sam again. Ha. I know he was witty, so this is probably right on. I thought Dorothy Parker was extremely witty also, tho she seemed a bit unstable to me.
This writing is, I suppose, a very good example of the 'repartee' the literary elites engaged in. I don't know how you did it.
Isn't Parker the one who said, "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses?" Good job on this.


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you so much, janalma. Parker did indeed write the passes/glasses line for the screenplay Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
    Yes, Parker made several suicide attempts, and relied heavily on alcohol late in life. But she was brilliant, and an avid advocate for personal and civil rights. She was fascinating. As a teen she was kicked of of a Catholic school for referring to the Immaculate Conception as 'spontaneous combustion.' Thank you so much for your kind words, and the galaxy of stars. Peace, Lee
Comment by
pattipac
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Really enjoyed reading your 'Vicious Circle' story. You set the scene well by describing the misty night surrounding the lone park bench and it's occupant. You give ample clues to Sam's identity with the description of the elderly man with snow-white hair, who loves his cigar. Liked how your built your story by the give and take between Dorthy and himself. So this is Samuel Clemen's Hell! Conversing with writers of great literature he will never be able to read. While Dorthy's is not being able to converse with anyone who knows what good literature is. Love your creative story.


 Comment Written 02-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you, Patricia, for this fine and generous review. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Rama Rao
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Reading this piece I had a strange experience. Although I didn't understand who the hell the characters were and what they were talking about, I enjoyed their dialogue, like the cut, thrust and parry of tow eminent lawyers. I could sense you were writing about some literary figures but didn't know till I read the notes.
You are a master of dialogue. This time it's not Peal the Dic but Sam and Dorothy. Their words suited the period. I thought Sam was a fun man. Would he speak like a pompous fat boor?


 Comment Written 02-Apr-2012



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you, RR, and I apologize for the American-centricy of this piece. I tried to make Sam's language and speech patterns a bit more formal than Dorothy's---they were born 75 years apart.
    Thank you again. Peace, Lee
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