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Reviews from
Water Spirit


1779, Finger Lakes Region of New York

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
Sarkems
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  122
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a wonderful exploration of history through people. I find it so refreshing to read fiction with an underlying thread of historical accuracy.


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2012



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2012
    Thank you, emsey. I'm delighted you enjoy this kind of 'little man' historical fiction. I've written several stories about historical events from the perspective of non-historical characters. Thank you so much for the galaxy of stars. Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Judy Swanson
oswaneej
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  237
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Lee, I absolutely love this story and the way you have drawn me into a sad, yet also very important, time in history. I hope this is just the beginning of another series that will both educate and entertain your readers.

Very interesting characgters - both living on the outside, on the edge of society. Big Head absolutely outside - Turtle, brave enough to connect with the "forbidden" so a chosen or personal outsider.

You begin your character development very well.

As always, your dialog is very well done. English, spoken very precisely, with no contractions - just as everything I've heard of the Native American English speaking (true or false, you hit what I understand as true).

I am always drawn into your stories, feeling myself longside the characters, a silent interloper, a fly on the wall.

I hadn't heard the term "Spirit's Hand" used for the Finger Lakes, but it is so appropriate - even for white man, no matter what his understanding or interpretation of spirit and whether or not it includes the word "God."

Thanks so much for sharing this intrigueing teaser of a story. More to come, I hope.

Judy


 Comment Written 19-May-2012



reply by the author on 20-May-2012
    Thank you, Judy. I agree that the should be more to this story. I know the history, but the 'people-story' involving these two characters should be explored. Thanks so much for understanding the way I try to write, and letting yourself drift into the picture. That's important to me. Thank you again, Judy. Peace, Lee

reply by Judy Swanson on 20-May-2012
    Lee, you are always welcome. I love the way you write and what it makes me feel. Your spirit shines through. I thank YOU.

    Judy

Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  54
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 17 part 2
Logan and McKenzie return to the hospital with no real news
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#6 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You have done a wonderful job bringing to litte part of our history, even though it's written fictionally, not sure thats a word, but it is now. I feel we spend way too much time teaching other's history and forget most our own US history. It's a shame.


 Comment Written 19-May-2012



reply by the author on 19-May-2012
    Barbara, thank you. I love playing on the fringes of history. The little stories. I'm so glad you enjoy. Peace, Lee
Comment by
2012 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Realist101
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  627
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Lee...How interesting this is. I think most have forgotten the Eastern tribes and the roles they 'played' in the development of this country. I like the two themes...subtly intertwined. The outcast, his inner thoughts, emotions, and the impending battles to come. This would make another wonderful book too. I really liked the narration--you created great atmosphere...oh. One tiny nit..? I think it should be, "both our deaths", rather than "both of our deaths"? Brooke or Nor84 would know for sure. I really tried to see spags and this was all I found. Love this atmospheric tale of our native Americans. x. Susan


 Comment Written 18-May-2012



reply by the author on 18-May-2012
    Thank you, Susan. I know you have an affinity for Native Americans, too. History is taught in 'spans'. I tend to think in 'people'. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
purrfect tale
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I had to give this a six! I love the history and the relationship between the two men was both painful and touching. You often use your talent with words to educate people of historic events. It makes me think you have a second gift for educating others.


 Comment Written 17-May-2012



reply by the author on 18-May-2012
    Thank you so much, purr. History is a big box of facts, throw in a little fiction, stir, and life occurs---that's my story, at least. I'm so glad you enjoy these stories. Thanks, again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Debbiecrosslin
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Are you a history teacher or professor? You are very good at research and writing of historical matters. This story is amazing because the Iroquois tribe. They have chosen sides, not for their nation but for another. The parallel of your story is historical in nature from the beginning of time. One man cannot follow two master. Debbie


 Comment Written 17-May-2012



reply by the author on 18-May-2012
    Thank you, Debbie. I don't teach history, but it does fascinate me---especially when I imagine the kind of people history texts overlook. I'm so glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
ajdevore
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I really love this. It is extremely well crafted and the tale is riveting. The dialogue is believable and pulls one into the scene. Good job.


 Comment Written 17-May-2012



reply by the author on 18-May-2012
    Thank you so much, ajdevore. I really appreciate your comments and all the generous stars! Peace, Lee
Comment by
LancsLass
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well, you succeeded, wonderfully, in putting people back in history. Like you once told me, start as near the end as possible. You started so near the end that a man paddled down a lake, met another man, they talked and the first one left, nothing happened yet everything happened.

The detail and atmosphere you create, and the ability you have to draw a reader into a world--and make it memorable, is to be envied.

This voice is a little different from the voice you usually use, less colloquial, if that is the right word, I like it just as much.

I like this story and this world very much. I bet you could write a whole book about it.

Thanks for a great read. Anna


 Comment Written 17-May-2012



reply by the author on 18-May-2012
    Thank you, Anna. I agree, there aren't enough people in history books. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  17
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  40
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  22
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A great story. I felt like I was there! Here are a few notes. Rare, they are!


1.)It is just false dawn,
-> I cannot believe one of my favorite writers has a 'just' as his third word in a story!

2.)So I had no choice but to survive
-> second sentence beginning with 'so I'

3.)Though I still can't see past the fog,
-> earlier he said he could see the tree tops?



 Comment Written 17-May-2012



reply by the author on 17-May-2012
    Thank you, robyn. I really appreciate your comments. However, I don't fall in line with modern thinking about the word 'just', especially when it is a synonym for 'barely.' Same goes for 'So I'. This is told by a person, not a writer. Seeing the tree tops, is not the same as seeing through the fog that is hugging the surface of the water (he's looking for the Elbow Point here, not at the tree tops.

    I do appreciate you keeping me on my toes, robyn. Really. But I think there are forces out there trying to 'formulize' 'homogenize' creativity.

    If you want to use these 'rules' to judge authors, you'll have a field day with Hemingway, Steinbeck, Twain, Vonnegut, Heller,
    even Stephen King.

    Don't get me wrong, robyn. I don't object to your review. I merely (or just?) want to state a case for the other side. I hope you will consider my belief that hard and fast rules are just that---hard and fast. Creativity bends.

    I take no offense, and I certainly mean none. Just offering points for discussion.

    I'm glad you liked the story.

    Peace, Lee

reply by robyn corum on 17-May-2012
    I absolutely agree. But I will still pick at you.

reply by the author on 17-May-2012
    Thanks, robyn, and I will pick back, as long as we agree we're both trying to achieve the same result--good stuff. I'm really not thin-skinned. I 'just' don't agree these arbitrary rules the 'experts' are trying to force feed us. Cormac McCarthy would be crucified on this site!
    Pick away, robyn, and I'll try not to be prickly. Lee

reply by robyn corum on 17-May-2012
    deal!
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  349
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  42
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  205
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Nicely told, humpwhistle. Dual themes:the friendship which appears only one way and or guarded by Big Head and the war that the Iroquois fight for the British but will be their demise as you say in your notes.
You have brought the era to life with your characters and their dialogue.


 Comment Written 17-May-2012



reply by the author on 17-May-2012
    Thank you, barking dog. History has so many stories tucked away. When I suffer from writer's block, I try to imagine a forgotten moment in history, and suddenly a story unfolds. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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