Hard-Boiled Times
layiing it straight
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Reviews from
Wanderlost


Updated with a few new stanzas

  127 total reviews 
Comment by
cheyennewy
 
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Hi wanderlost,

For the first poem you ever wrote it is fabulous. Your rhyme is consistent, the flow is smooth, your word choices are expressive and I love the the theme. Well done, chey


 Comment Written 22-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 23-Nov-2012
    Thank you very much for the great review Chey! Your comments are always helpful!
    Wanderlost
Comment by
Curly Girly
 
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This was quite a good and well written poem, you have good rhyme too. The image was quite daunting - probably after an earthquake. Best wishes with it. CG


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
    Thank you very much for your kind comments and excellent rating!
Comment by
terry drake
 
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What a real nice poem with proper structure and rhyme. The story line is intriguing and reflects the image you provided in your poem. Good rhythm with your rhymes.


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
    Thank you so much for the kind words and excellent rating!
Comment by
Gungalo
 
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So off they go with intrepid pride
Past multitudes of empty eyes
A barren land of resigning sighs
Those of the path must leave or die.

Great for the first poem you ever wrote. It has a lot of potential and a lot of really meaningful things mentioned in ti.


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
    Thank you for the kind words!

reply by Gungalo on 18-Nov-2012
    My sincere pleasure.
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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Excellent
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excellent use of mono-rhyming in your quatrains
vivid descriptive detail that creates a woeful mood well
good alliteration in frost's forgotten
good consonance in copious/perfect/passing
great atmosphere in lines like barren land of resigning sighs - also good assonance of long I sounds
Brooke


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
    Your comments are very helpful! thank you!
Comment by
trimple
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  Rank:  89
 
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wow i had an imagined cold breeze kiss my forearm as i read this very interesting piece thank you for sharing
kind regards trimple


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate your comment haha
Comment by
ajdevore
 
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You made me read this three times, so it must be good. I guess you're saying we've soiled our nest, not realizing our search for novelty was purchased at the cost to future generations If so, true but sad.

Anna

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012



reply by the author on 17-Nov-2012
    Thank you for the kind reviews. And I really appreciate that you understand what I was trying to express.
    Your friend in everything, Wanderlost
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