Love Bites Write a poem about love gone wrong or lost love. It can be sad, raw, or just plain angry (Just keep it clean). Express the emotions of the darker side of love. Any style or length. Be creative.
Great opening line. It captured my attention and made me think of the scripture verse that states "a day is as a thousand years". In the frailty of our short lifetimes, we cannot fathom living out just one "eternal day".
This is well written for a "first" poem. It apparently made an impact on you as you've chosen it's title as your screen name as well. Reminds me that I need to open up an antique trunk and dig out the first poem I wrote.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Blessings to you,
A well thought out poem echoing Robert frosts refrains of yesteryear. Poetry has became an antiquated form of self expression yet, poetry continues to titillate as it morphs in its form to present day rap. Outstanding write. Worthy of the six.
The Shakespeare reference caused me to pay attention to the meter and then the Frost reference put me on the "road less traveled..." So...good effort for your first attempt althought the metric patterns are a bit bumpy (like the road you speak of)You set the tone of metric imbalance in S1 with L1 & L3 nicely writ in iambic tetrameter while L2 & L4 go off on metric tangents.
So...if it was purposefully done (this metric sleigh-ride) then I'll say..(for me) it impedes a smooth progress through the poem. If it was inadvertant then...my suggestion would be to take some time and try to "smooth out" the read. Might I offer an example:
In S1, remove "An" from L2;
From the line, "Did this woe impede the way" remove "this"
The first four lines will then scan:
a THOU/ sand YEARS/ pass BY/ like DAYS (iambic tetrameter)
ex TEN/ ded E/ cho DES/ ert HAZE (iambic trimeter)
and NE'ER/ in ALL/ of SHAKE/ spear's PLAYS
Did WOE/ im PEDE/ the WAY (iambic trimeter)
Read it aloud - lower case unstressed, upper case stressed - I think you'll be able to feel the smooth road. You might want to try going through the rest of the poem and try to smooth out other metric bumps you might find. This, of course, is all just in my opinion...just trying to help!!