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Reviews from
Realms of Rhyme


The kingdom of immortal masters...

  51 total reviews 
Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Rating of Chapter 25 -
Refrain
I don't know the song this piece is inspired by, but I of course can relate, in every respect.

"If You Could Read My Mind" was
spinning, flinging monologue regrets,
So I reset the song's beginning to
absorb the weeping frets."
-I love the 'flinging monologue regrets' part of this stanza, I just love the concept of those words, completely mesmerising.

"Arising slowly, I created isolationistic
will,
In stainless steel and armor-plated
to forestall a second kill."
-I love this stanza, again I think because of the word usage. I also love the meanings in these words, it does of course strike a very personal note for me.

This is a clever piece, both containing something almost everyone can relate to, as well as giving something very personal from the writer. You do an exceptional job of covering so many aspects of your feelings. For me its a humbling and emotional experience to read this piece. You should be very proud of it, as I am to be able to call you my friend. Wonderful stuff once again...


 Comment Written 13-May-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 24 -
A Tuesday Rose
Uh-oh, its deep breath time again lol. I have read this three times now my friend, it is extraordinary in so many respects...

"The sentiment our fears oppose
Is fragile as a Tuesday rose,
Awaiting dew for growth anew
Below unfriendly skies."
-What an opening stanza this is, the beautiful composition here makes for quite a beginning to this piece. I love the third line particularly, such word usage brings to life vivid imagery, simply stunning.

"A few endure, but not unscarred,
And reconnoiter under guard,
But love embraced is glassed and placed
On sun-shot window sills."
-I can barely breathe when I read this stanza over again, just feeling the impact of these words is incredible. I love the layering here, and the second part, oh its just breathtaking, no other word for it.

"The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine,
To cause a tamed and crystal-framed
Endangered rose to bloom."
-Again I just think what on earth can I say about the absolute perfection of this stanza. For me personally, I can't think of a more perfect description for a relationship. The way the first part leads to the second part here is just awesome.

This is one of the best pieces I have ever read, and I don't just mean of yours my friend. The piece as a whole is a technical dream and poetically it is just divine in every aspect. I am completely in love with this piece, it has touched me to the very core of my heart and soul. The centre-piece for my wall, most definately....


 Comment Written 11-May-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Rating of Chapter 23 -
Hollow Wood
Well this is an interesting change of pace from you my friend. Again a wonderfully fluid rhyming scheme, combined with a very natural flow.

"When silver screens exhibit scenes
Of men fulfilling dreams,
I spare my stare the searing glare
Of cyclopean beams."
-Love this opening stanza, bet you can't guess why that is lol. Such original word usage here, 'cyclopean' just love that.

" The tearing down of tinsel town
Begins with those who thrive
In years below the neon glow,
Determined to survive."
-I love the composition of this stanza, and the message within, it really appeals to my own nature.

This piece has a very easy feel to it, you have made it appear as if it was effortless to write, that in itself a great achievement. I enjoyed this very much, really appeals to the contradictory facets of my own personality. Both to escape reality and to be immersed within it...


 Comment Written 11-May-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Rating of Chapter 22 -
The Duel For An April Fool
*Deep breath* Ok, here we go. Well where do I start? Firstly I was struck by the fantastic flow of this piece as I started to read it, the rhyming scheme and the movement of the flow are a very powerful combination here.

"My innermost temptations rumble
as the April billows roll,
Arising proud, but bound to crumble
like a life-bedraggled soul."
-Beautiful opening stanza, such vivid imagery, setting the tone for the whole piece. Swept me off my feet from the opening line, and gripped me to the last.

"They roar to life, but surge to perish
with a gasp as they collapse,
Resplendent crests unfurled and
cherished for their alabaster caps;"
-The imagery in this stanza almost overwhelms the senses with its clarity. Do you ever read back something you have wrote and think, wow did I write that? thats exactly what I thought when I read this stanza, simply stunning.

"When jaded emeralds deign to "find" you,
hide your eyes from bright displays,
For cheap delusions shine to blind you
with a diamonded gaze."
-Diamonded he says, my goodness isn't that astonishing! I know I'm always saying this but one of the things I love so much about your writing is your original use of the language. No greater example of that than in this stanza. Think you should read that one back to yourself as well my friend lol, this whole stanza is so breathtaking.

I could have highlighted every stanza of this piece and had something to say about it lol. The self control it took not to go on for half an hour my friend, you have no idea ;) Needless to say I think this is a fantastic contribution to the
amazing emotional journey so far, that is this book.

I think I need to go and get some more adjectives, I dont have enough to do your pen justice. Incredible piece, an honour and a privelage to enjoy every word my friend, as always....


 Comment Written 10-May-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 21 -
Mood-Bending
Reading this from a non poetry writing point of view, I am vividly reminded of what it really takes to achieve this most difficult and often disciplined art form.

"A tightened art of subtle means
Evolves by placing every piece
Within the frame of balanced scenes
To pre-proportion each release."
-I love this stanza, it perfectly encapsulates the intricacies of poetry writing.

"Cohesive phrases forge a chain
In links of gently-woven rope,
Connecting rhythm to the brain
With songs composed of burgeoned hope."
-I love this stanza also, for similar reasons previously mentioned. I also love so many of the words you have combined to create the positivity of the message here.

A lovely offering my friend, full of encouragement and respect for the art form, and those whose passions are ignited by it....


 Comment Written 10-May-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Rating of Chapter 20 -
Gothic Pond
I really feel the strength behind the words in this piece. The way you have merged so many powerful and passionate words has given the whole such a depth of feeling, the reader can't fail to be touched by that.

"Assimilating dismal rains
Into their wasted, withered veins,
They swallow grey, denying day
By digging inner ponds."
-The composition of the words and the flow of this stanza really appeals to me. I also love the imagery of the last line, captivating.

"Depression, Fear, and cruel Deceit
Are black disciples of defeat;
A sinful three, a trinity,
The utter bane of sleep."
-I love the message in this stanza, so vivid in its clarity. Again I love the last line of this stanza too, such a strong finish.

The words from this piece will be ringing in my ears long after I have left these pages. This piece is dark, deep and sometimes brutal in its honesty. Yet when you are finished reading it you are left with an undeniable sense of hope, just as it should be. Great stuff my friend....


 Comment Written 10-May-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 19 -
The Rubicon
Hallo my friend,

Well what a place to begin my return :) I completely love this. As soon as I read the first line, I knew I was onto a winner...

"The so-called "point of no return"
Is lost in ash as memories burn,
A charnel blaze of ancient haze,
A mind-enkindled shrine."
-I wanted to higlight this stanza because of the use of language here. I find myself becoming lost in the beautiful choice of words, so riveting.

"The gruesome wretch is quick to tame
When not embroidered with the blame
For toiling years, despoiling tears
And joyful smiles decreased."
-I love this stanza also, it's so cleverly written, full of layering and imagery. Again the original use of such unusual words always appeals to my palate, as I'm sure you know ;)

I am completely in love with this poem, I'm not sure that I can fully explain why that is. I love the delicacy of the meter you have used and the intricacy of the rhyming scheme. The story told within words I think almost anyone can really relate to, and what could make it a more personal journey for the reader than that. Just wonderful my friend...



 Comment Written 10-May-2005


Comment by
Seancuig
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 24 -
A Tuesday Rose
I followed a recommendation link to this poem and I can see why now.
It's stunning.

The rose, when set within its vase,
Becomes a dream of fragrant grace

That's just a beautiful line.


 Comment Written 04-May-2005


Comment by
Walter L. Jones
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 25 -
Refrain
Gordon and Kris have residence in my mind, they play there a lot, folk poetry and natural look at life from the country to the street. As always you add a natural lived touch to the excellence you write. You help my mind rest in comfort of sound and words..Best day Walt


 Comment Written 29-Apr-2005


Comment by
Magpiemazy.
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  126
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  Rank:  67
Review Stars
  Rank:  268
 
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Rating of Chapter 12 -
A Cautionary Tale
You have a delicious sense of humor - said the married lady to the single man, but beware some sweet maiden will catch you if she can! Maggie


 Comment Written 23-Apr-2005


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