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Reviews from
Safe Keeping


A combination and a change of attitude

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
Siouxsun
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I know that finding the safe combination is the obvious find But I like the way you tied in finding a new friend in some one you never would of expected and overcoming some pretty strong invisible boundaries at the time. Inspiring story


 Comment Written 08-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for reviewing this and for your nice comments.
    Beth
Comment by
Benjamin Valencia
 
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Excellent
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Hello. Good job, but your thoughts on the first paragraph was a bit confusing. The rest of the story had a smooth flow though and I liked the plot and characterization. Being a biographical non-fiction, I have to agree that there was a supernatural twist here. Good luck and cheers.


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
    Thank you Benjamin, I really appreciate the review and you comments.

    Beth
Comment by
MumEsGirl
 
Review Stars
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I found this to be a well written and entertaining story. What added to its appeal was the fact that it was not a work of fiction.
I have offered four stars because I didn't quite grasp the transition from working acquaintance to friendship with this 'black' lady. I felt that there was too much emphasis on race in this work.
hugs
kate



 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    THank you Kate. I do apprecate the review and comments. Since it was factual and not fiction I suppose it was a bit disjointed. The prompt asked how finding something changed your life. If I had not found the combination that opened the safe, so we could get to the material inside, I'm pretty sure we would have lost the customer because her patience was wearing thin. As result of opening the safe and getting to her photographs, I did meet the lady who had an impact on my life. Other than the raise that is the only way my life changed.
Comment by
EMB
 
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Excellent
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So Judy's either a psychic or you didn't enter the safe combination correctly until she said something about her dream. This is a true story? He actually committed suicide because of his gambling debts?

Gripping stuff.


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you Edward, I really appreciate the review and comments. I told it exactly as it happened. If it had been fiction, I would have made it less fragmented, but every word of this is true except of name changes.
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
her mother, who died - add comma
you build an atmosphere of suspense and intrigue well
a College professor - college
if we would escorted out - be escorted
You have written a really original response to the prompt - one with a message and an attention-keeping plot. Good luck in the contest :-) Brooke


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you Brooke, I really appreciate your review and comments and a special thanks for pointing out the spags.
Comment by
Cariboubill
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is an excellent story with a good "moral". I like it, because I worked as a printer for 50+ years in small shops and newspapers. Your story has an air of authenticity.

Could I point out a couple changes in grammar? Third paragraph, first line: "a other". Take the "a" out.
Paragraph six, second line, "an member", should be "a member". Use "a" before a word starting with a consonant or hard sound, "an" before a word with a soft sound like most vowels.

Good story that teaches a gentle lesson.
...Bill


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for the coveted six star rating. I do appreciate you taking time to point out my errors which I've corrected. I pretty much told it exactly as it happened.
    Beth
Comment by
chasennov
 
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Excellent
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'Safe Keeping' is a good story about people who are supposed to be psychic, although I do not believe in that science myself. The story was well formulated and well written. I found only one little mistake; psychic, not physic. Well done.


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for the review and comments on this story. I've never really believed in psychic happenings myself but so many things have happened in my life I have no way to explain. This was told exactly as it happened. Thanks for pointing out the misspelling.

reply by chasennov on 06-Feb-2013
    You're very welcome.
Comment by
4tulips
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I did enjoy reading your story. However, there was so much story to the actual time of when your attitude changed towards other races. This is what I thought was the writing prompt for your story. Little time was given to this topic. The last three small paragraphs reflected on the prompt, as the earlier part of the story was the telling of the opening of the safe. Therefore I am not sure how to review this entry.


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for the review and comments. I see where you are coming from. If it had been fiction,I could probably have made it work better but I tried to tell it exactly as it happened.
Comment by
CR Delport
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Excellent
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An interesting story that is well written. It reads nicely and flows smoothly. How many things have happened in our lives that one cant explain? Well done and good luck!


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I really appreciate it.
Comment by
Righteous Riter
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an interesting story. So interesting that it had my attention from the start. The writer uses the mention of super nature to hook my mind. I am some what amazed by things hard to explain. The writer does a good job of releasing little detail and strange events to heighten my curiosity. The transitioning between events is smooth and the writer des a good job of leading the reader to a descent ending. Good work.


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2013



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
    Thank you so much for the review and comments. It is true that many things in life can't be explained by logic. I really liked your comments.
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