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Reviews from
2013

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Ligurian Sea"

Compilation of Various Poems and Writings

80 total reviews

Comment by

MAMONIA

Poet Rating

Rank: 249

(+2)

Author Rating For Short Works

Rank: 96

Author Rating For Novels

Review Stars

Rank: 216

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

God bless your talent. What a gift you possess to
write such a beautiful Sestina. It is such a wonderful
story with so much imagery and description and flows
so easily for the reader.
Congratulations for a very deserving win. This could
not have been an easy accomplishment.
You did a remarkable job and I loved every word of it.
My best to you always.
Marie

Comment Written 27-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013

Dear Marie,
Thanks so much for this very generous review. Your many kind comments and bright stars are greatly appreciated. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sestina. I'd never heard of the form until Brooke taught me back in the Spring. Thanks for a grand review.
Ray

Comment by

dragonpoet

Premier Author

Poet Rating

Rank: 215

Author Rating For Short Works

Review Stars

Rank: 67

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You're right about this being one of the hardest forms to write. This one follows the story of love from beginning to end. It is romantic when you say he often walks the cliffs where they first met to remember her.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

Comment Written 27-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013

Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
Ray

reply by dragonpoet on 28-Apr-2013

No problem, Ray

Joan

Comment by

Writingfundimension

Premier Author

Premier Reader

Poet Rating

Author Rating For Short Works

Author Rating For Novels

Script Rating

Review Stars

Excellent

Congratulations, Ray, for your top-three finish in the POM contest. This poem is truly beautiful and a great example of your growth as an artist. Bravo!

Warmest regards, Bev

Comment Written 26-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013

Good Afternoon, Bev-san
Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my Sestina.
Ray

reply by Writingfundimension on 27-Apr-2013

Hi, Ray. You're very welcome! Take care, Bev

reply by Writingfundimension on 27-Apr-2013

Hi, Ray. You're very welcome! Take care, Bev

Comment by

amada

Premier Author

Poet Rating

Rank: 52

Author Rating For Short Works

Author Rating For Novels

Script Rating

Review Stars

Rank: 66

Exceptional

Congratulations. This sestina is very worthy of been in the best poems of the month. i can tell it reads beautifully but I couldn't figure out the rules. Like a flower, you see the beauty but can't find out the mechanism that makes it so beautiful. It's better to think is just magic.

Comment Written 22-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 22-Apr-2013

Good Evening, Amanda,
Thanks so much for this very generous review of my Sestina. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. Your very kind comments and many bright stars are greatly appreciated.
-ray

Comment by

poetbear

Review Stars

Excellent

Lucky you to have Brooke.
Lucky us to read you.
Incredible frm start to finish.
Loved every single line.
Creative and Original.
High praise and must readQ

Comment Written 18-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

Good Evening, Maddy
Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
-ray

Comment by

jaliscomel

Review Stars

Good

The sestina is indeed a difficult and complicated form and you have done it well. It tells a clever love and longing story. I applaud you for even attempting the form. However, I question using archaic word forms ('twas, e'er) and the word preying when I think you meant prying since eyes cannot prey.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

Comment Written 18-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 21-Apr-2013

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.
-r

Comment by

Galactia

Poet Rating

Author Rating For Short Works

Review Stars

Excellent

This is an exceptional write, i read this this morning and it was my inspiration to try this for out. you did an excellent job with this.

GL in the contest

Regards
tia

Comment Written 18-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

Hi, Tia
Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
Ray

Comment by

BeasPeas

Premier Author

Premier Reader

Poet Rating

Author Rating For Short Works

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Review Stars

Rank: 459

Excellent

This poetry style is intricate and, as you point out in author's note, needs some dedication to form to complete properly. Nicely done.

Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
Ray

Comment by

Aletheia

Review Stars

Excellent

Oh my goodness, Ray. This poem took my breath away . It may be one of the most romantic poems I have ever read. I am not familiar with this form, but your author notes are excellent, and I am in awe of your talent and ability to write flawlessly in such a difficult form. To say this nomination is well deserved is an understatement. Best of luck, but I'm sure you won't need it. So sorry I don't have any six stars left, but be assured it's worthy of that many and more. Bravo!!!

Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

Hi, Jen
Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. Your kind words and wish for a six are greatly appreciated.
-ray

Comment by

juliaSjames

Premier Author

Premier Reader

Poet Rating

Rank: 94

(+1)

Author Rating For Short Works

Author Rating For Novels

Review Stars

Rank: 185

Exceptional

I enjoyed this exceptional write very much, Ray. But I'd give you six stars for the effort alone!

I'm torn between attraction and dismay when I contemplate the rigid structure of this poetic form.

Attraction because I love words and the subtlety of shifting meaning. Dismay because of all the time and care needed to marry content and emotion to such a complex structure.

Kudos to you for writing a wonderful poem of high romance.

Delightful touches of internal rhyme - cause/pause; fray/preying; you/hue. Just enough alliteration to embellish but not overpower as in the conbined eff alliteration and consonance of "fire's soft flick'ring"

Superb enjambment, especially when the last line of a stanza flows seamlessly into the first line of the following verse enhancing the subtle variation of the repetition of key words. Witness,

"As night grew cold and northwest winds blew swift,

we held each other close as yarn on weaver's swift."

A tiny note for your consideration:

"cliff's paths" sounds slightly awkward when the poem is read aloud. I think it would improve the phonetics if you used "cliff" as an adjective and wrote, "cliff paths".

Love the "Ligurian sea's broad expanse". For me, there's something indefinably freeing and wonderful in looking down on the serene blue of water from a promontory. Maybe I was a hawk or an eagle in a previous life. LOL

Bless you for sharing the work of your heart, Ray.

Comment Written 23-Mar-2013

reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013

Dear Cheryl,

You have humbled me beyond words with this very generous and gracious review of my Sestina. Thank you so much for your affirming comments, examples of what you admired and your suggestion for improving the 'cliff paths' line. You're correct and I'll make the change. Thanks also for the many bright stars, but thanks mostly for your warm, glowing comments. You've made my day!
-ray

reply by juliaSjames on 24-Mar-2013

You're welcome, Ray. The spirit of the troubadours lives on in you, my friend.

peace and blessings, cheryl

reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013

You're most kind, Cheryl!
Thank you so much.
-rr

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