The Truth
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Reviews from
2013


Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Ligurian Sea"

Compilation of Various Poems and Writings

  80 total reviews 
Comment by
MAMONIA
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  249 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  96
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  216
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
God bless your talent. What a gift you possess to
write such a beautiful Sestina. It is such a wonderful
story with so much imagery and description and flows
so easily for the reader.
Congratulations for a very deserving win. This could
not have been an easy accomplishment.
You did a remarkable job and I loved every word of it.
My best to you always.
Marie


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
    Dear Marie,
    Thanks so much for this very generous review. Your many kind comments and bright stars are greatly appreciated. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sestina. I'd never heard of the form until Brooke taught me back in the Spring. Thanks for a grand review.
    Ray
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  215
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  67
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You're right about this being one of the hardest forms to write. This one follows the story of love from beginning to end. It is romantic when you say he often walks the cliffs where they first met to remember her.

Keep writing

dragonpoet


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
    Ray

reply by dragonpoet on 28-Apr-2013
    No problem, Ray

    Joan
Comment by
Writingfundimension
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Premier Reader
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Congratulations, Ray, for your top-three finish in the POM contest. This poem is truly beautiful and a great example of your growth as an artist. Bravo!

Warmest regards, Bev


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
    Good Afternoon, Bev-san
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my Sestina.
    Ray

reply by Writingfundimension on 27-Apr-2013
    Hi, Ray. You're very welcome! Take care, Bev

reply by Writingfundimension on 27-Apr-2013
    Hi, Ray. You're very welcome! Take care, Bev
Comment by
amada
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  52
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  66
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Congratulations. This sestina is very worthy of been in the best poems of the month. i can tell it reads beautifully but I couldn't figure out the rules. Like a flower, you see the beauty but can't find out the mechanism that makes it so beautiful. It's better to think is just magic.


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 22-Apr-2013
    Good Evening, Amanda,
    Thanks so much for this very generous review of my Sestina. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. Your very kind comments and many bright stars are greatly appreciated.
    -ray
Comment by
poetbear
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lucky you to have Brooke.
Lucky us to read you.
Incredible frm start to finish.
Loved every single line.
Creative and Original.
High praise and must readQ


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    Good Evening, Maddy
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
    -ray
Comment by
jaliscomel
 
Review Stars
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The sestina is indeed a difficult and complicated form and you have done it well. It tells a clever love and longing story. I applaud you for even attempting the form. However, I question using archaic word forms ('twas, e'er) and the word preying when I think you meant prying since eyes cannot prey.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 21-Apr-2013
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.
    -r
Comment by
Galactia
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an exceptional write, i read this this morning and it was my inspiration to try this for out. you did an excellent job with this.

GL in the contest

Regards
tia


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    Hi, Tia
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
    Ray
Comment by
BeasPeas
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  Rank:  459
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This poetry style is intricate and, as you point out in author's note, needs some dedication to form to complete properly. Nicely done.


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem.
    Ray
Comment by
Aletheia
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh my goodness, Ray. This poem took my breath away . It may be one of the most romantic poems I have ever read. I am not familiar with this form, but your author notes are excellent, and I am in awe of your talent and ability to write flawlessly in such a difficult form. To say this nomination is well deserved is an understatement. Best of luck, but I'm sure you won't need it. So sorry I don't have any six stars left, but be assured it's worthy of that many and more. Bravo!!!


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    Hi, Jen
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. Your kind words and wish for a six are greatly appreciated.
    -ray
Comment by
juliaSjames
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  94 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  185
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I enjoyed this exceptional write very much, Ray. But I'd give you six stars for the effort alone!

I'm torn between attraction and dismay when I contemplate the rigid structure of this poetic form.

Attraction because I love words and the subtlety of shifting meaning. Dismay because of all the time and care needed to marry content and emotion to such a complex structure.

Kudos to you for writing a wonderful poem of high romance.

Delightful touches of internal rhyme - cause/pause; fray/preying; you/hue. Just enough alliteration to embellish but not overpower as in the conbined eff alliteration and consonance of "fire's soft flick'ring"

Superb enjambment, especially when the last line of a stanza flows seamlessly into the first line of the following verse enhancing the subtle variation of the repetition of key words. Witness,

"As night grew cold and northwest winds blew swift,

we held each other close as yarn on weaver's swift."


A tiny note for your consideration:

"cliff's paths" sounds slightly awkward when the poem is read aloud. I think it would improve the phonetics if you used "cliff" as an adjective and wrote, "cliff paths".

Love the "Ligurian sea's broad expanse". For me, there's something indefinably freeing and wonderful in looking down on the serene blue of water from a promontory. Maybe I was a hawk or an eagle in a previous life. LOL

Bless you for sharing the work of your heart, Ray.




 Comment Written 23-Mar-2013



reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
    Dear Cheryl,

    You have humbled me beyond words with this very generous and gracious review of my Sestina. Thank you so much for your affirming comments, examples of what you admired and your suggestion for improving the 'cliff paths' line. You're correct and I'll make the change. Thanks also for the many bright stars, but thanks mostly for your warm, glowing comments. You've made my day!
    -ray

reply by juliaSjames on 24-Mar-2013
    You're welcome, Ray. The spirit of the troubadours lives on in you, my friend.

    peace and blessings, cheryl

reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
    You're most kind, Cheryl!
    Thank you so much.
    -rr
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