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Reviews from
Cold Dead Hands


One girl's personal struggle to survive nuclear winter.

  63 total reviews 
Comment by
chasennov
 
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Excellent
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'Cold Dead Hands.' A Nuclear disaster is nobody's cup of tea. I enjoyed the dramatisation of this chapter very much and I thought you formulated the story well.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thanks for taking the time to read it and give your opinions on it, chasennov. I certainly appreciate it!

reply by chasennov on 25-Jun-2013
    You're very welcome.
Comment by
lmjandbooks
 
 
Good
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It was a very original and thoughtful piece of work. You've thought of ways that she could survive and you've used items effectively. I would have preffered the ending to be slightly more drawn out - perhaps with them coming inside? I really enjoyed it though.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thanks very much for you time spent reading this, Imjandbooks, as well as for your suggestions. I do appreciate your points of view...

    I have made a brief extension to the ending, as per your suggestion, and, I must admit, based upon the reviews posted after yours, it has had a profound effect on the readers. I sincerely thank you for that. I believe it reads much better now myself!
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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As for dad, he's chained up - Dad because it's used as his proper name in this sentence
same thing when you talk about dad's/Dad's smell
Aunt Joyces' house - Joyce's - singular possessive
I like how his thoughts and spelling and writing deteriorate as conditions grow more and more intolerable
great descriptive detail in this very very grim story
Brooke


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thanks for those corrections, Brooke. I will fix them ASAP. I appreciate you reading it and giving me your opinions about it. Yes, it is grim, but I should think if something like this were to happen, the world would be a very dark, grim place to be...

reply by adewpearl on 25-Jun-2013
    I totally agree - not every story has to be a feel good tale with a happy ending :-)

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Yeah, thanks. In that sort of situation, I don't expect there would be too many of those. Happy endings, I mean...
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
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this is very well written, dean, you did an excellent job writing this story about the teenager that survived the nuclear winter and documented the days spent. I enjoyed reading it


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Than you very much, sweetwoodjax. I appreciate that. It's always nice when someone takes the time to read your longer pieces.
Comment by
Gungalo
 
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This is good Dean but it needs a little help. Your picture is what is making it off the screen.

The story is gory but great in that it may actually happen one day. Ohhh God forbid.


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thanks so much, Gungalo. I always can use and appreciate a little help. I certainly thank you for yours...

reply by Gungalo on 24-Jun-2013
    Smile Deann.
Comment by
mohiro
 
 
Excellent
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Cold and quite brazen. The genre you are writing in needs a talent like yours. It's a great make believe world. Or did it really happened? Or what if it's going to happen? Your words are powerful and evocative. The characterization is great, too. The picture compliments the story.

This is absolutely gory. Who is going to save our world impending nuclear threat?

Good piece. Keep the good work going.

Best wishes always.
Mohiro.


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thanks very much for your uniquely interesting thoughts and perspectives, Mohiro. I really enjoy a 'thinking man's ' reader. You sure seem to be one!

    Thanks again, I appreciate it. And hey, don't be a stranger. I'll be around...
Comment by
Quillian
 
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There you go!

Oh, this is just so good. And creepy. The things I liked best; the wind, this just fits in so well with nuclear winter, the fact that her Mom just disappeared and he doesn't really know what happened to her, and that knowing, relentless, horror that she will be eating her father. Ugh.
Spag to check; ' flowered butt planed on a pew'(planted?)
'human persuation' (persuasion?) 'tremendous white falsh'(flash?). Nice, nice writing..


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
    Thanks Quillian. Darn SPaG. I must fire my editor! Wait a sec...I AM the editor. Oh well.

reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
    I wish I knew what you disliked about it to rate it four stars. I would have gladly endeavored to fix it...if I knew?

reply by Quillian on 05-Jun-2013
    I gave you a four because of the reason's I listed. I guess I wasn't clear and for that I sincerely apologize. The Acronym SPAG stands for SPelling and Grammar. You had spelled planted as planed,persuasion as persuation and flash as falsh. If that didn't come through again I apologise. Are we OK?

reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
    Sure, we're OK. JM da Silva will do that for me too, at times. If he reviews a story and sees SPAG, he will give me four stars, and tell me that when I fix it, he will upgrade the rating...which he does. How about you?

reply by Quillian on 06-Jun-2013
    Well, yeah! That's what we;re here for, right? Keep up the good work, Dean. Quill

reply by Quillian on 06-Jun-2013
    Well, yeah! That's what we're here for, right?
    Keep up the good writing, Dean. Quill
Comment by
Macsween
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I really liked this. You have reviewed a lot of my work recently and its time to repay the favour. This was excellent and certainly horrific. You could feel what the character was feeling and the story was enthralling. The isolation was written well and I liked how the story switched to a voice recording. The descriptions of the aftermath of the bomb were great and it added to the vibe of the story. This should be a strong contest entry. Good luck.


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
    Thank you very much. I am glad that you liked it. It was a fun piece to write.
Comment by
alexgeorge
 
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The part about him being normal, 'as an old lady's flowered butt planed on a pew at Sunday morning service' was priceless. Your sense of humour continues with humping Blitz. Then you take us through the torment with the days counting on until he is forced to cannibalism.


 Comment Written 04-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
    Thank you alexgeorge, I am glad you felt the grip of these cold, dead hands...
Comment by
Righteous Riter
 
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The writer does a good job of drawing the reader in from the start. The writer makes this story exciting and really sends chills to the reader. The transitions this piece well and does a good job of taking the reader where the reader needs to go. Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 04-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
    Thanks RR. I am glad you felt the icy grip of these Cold Dead Hands...
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