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Sonnet Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

2-4-2 Poetry
Deadline: Nov 30th

True Story Flash
Deadline: Dec 1st

Lune Poetry Contest
Deadline: Dec 2nd

75 Words Flash Fiction
Deadline: Dec 4th


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Author: None
Novel: None
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Reviews from
Which One Today?


a short one ... 799 words

  55 total reviews 
Comment by
Priest B. Brown
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your work reflects the fears and anxiety of those life-changing moments we at times face.

I tensed and exhaled at the end.

Thank you for your openness.


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
    Thx so much for digging this one out of the Fanstory closet, Priest!!🐳😊😊🐳Sharyn
Comment by
MsPetra
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I can see why it won. This is very well written. I was compelled to keep reading.
I wanted to see where you would take it. It was a satisfying ending.
I especially liked the twist of the split personality. That took it over the top.
I wish you well with your writing.
I will be looking forward to reading more of your work.


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
    Oh my goodness Ms Petra, thank you so much for going back so far into my portfolio! I really appreciate it, and am so glad you enjoyed this piece!
    :)Sharyn
Comment by
marvelle
 
 
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A clever story. Short and to the point, keeping the reader interested, and slightly puzzled, until the cute twist at the end.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 02-Oct-2013



reply by the author on 02-Oct-2013
    "Aloha" marvelle - may I remind you of the review guidelines please? If you're going to give something three stars, you are expected to say what needs improvement.
    :)Sharyn
Comment by
samandlancelot
Patricia
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  434
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  549
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Visionary,

I love this. What a wonderful metaphor Margaret/Hope's husband used to help his wife overcome her past. The ending is amazing and wonderful. You are such a talented writer. congratulations on your win!

Patricia


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2013



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
    Thank you SO much Patricia! (Sorry - I just read YOUR story and assumed you were a "Phyllis"! my apologies - I totally loved your powerful piece and I'm so glad you enjoyed mine). Thank you, too, for your lovely sixer!
    Blessings,
    Sharyn
Comment by
jobax
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As with a great actor, you have the ability to assume the role of the protagonist but for extra credit you assume the roles for all the actors with facility. You understand and can communicate nuances of empathy better than people who have traveled "that road"... if indeed you have not been there yourself. I have thoroughly enjoyed "Which One Today?".

Sharyn, I would appreciate it if you could review a short quatrain, "Fury's Run", that I wrote to accompany a painting that my wife completed in the last few days.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2013
    Bless you John - thanks for reading this one! All fiction, but I've worked with special needs people a lot in my life.

    And I just reviewed "Fury's Run" for you. Wow! what a painting that is! :))Sharyn
Comment by
poetbear
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well written and many will get it and relate in some manner.
Great composition which keeps the writers and readers attention.
Much critical thinking and points to ponder here.
Well written piece that many will remember.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2013
    thx so much Maddy! :)Sharyn
Comment by
pumkin2866
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A well deserved win, I don't know if there is anything else I can say about this piece. It is a work of art and a true winner. Thanks for sharing


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
    wow pumpkin! Thank you so much for enjoying my story and for your wonderful six! I've not written much flash fiction, so I was delighted with this one.
    Blessings,
    Sharyn

reply by pumkin2866 on 28-Jun-2013
    Your welcome.
Comment by
Theresafort
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow! What great twists! As I was reading, I was thinking that no doctor would have taken a patient aside and said such things, but in the end it all makes sense.

I like your writing style, your original similies and metaphors, and the fact that you used "dagger" as a verb. I especially liked the passage describing the x-rays:

"the menacing dark spot hiding amidst the whorls and shadows of my skull flagrantly displayed on his wall.
It seems indecent for us both to be staring at my death through the symmetry of those black eye-sockets and white air-filled facial bones - a dark triangle where a nose should be, but of course cartilage doesn't show up on X-rays."

The character is way too complex for flash fiction though; there is no room for resolution. Have you considered expanding it into a short story?


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
    Bless you Theresa - I find flash fiction very difficult to write and yes, I agree the character is way too complex for f.f. I made several false starts on this story and didn't have a clue where it would go and yes, I think it would be fun to expand this one as a short story - plenty of material to choose from, right? :)Sharyn
Comment by
Luvs2rite4u
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  612
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your writing style and use of impowering words showed the reader intense emotions. I couldn't stop seeing Hope in the hospital her decesion to be the "one" to be out for the rest of "her" life. You displayed D.I.D. as not a threat to anyone. Your descriptive voice gave so much compassion to those with this disorder. I will only tell you..since you wrote upon this subject matter with such sweetness; that, I/We have D.I.D. also. I wish their was a six star rating. I am so happy for you to have won this contest. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story. Luvs


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
    Bless you Luvs - and all my compassion to you! I'm so glad you enjoyed my story!
    Big hugs to you!
    :)Sharyn
Comment by
Spiritual Echo
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
What a deserved win.

My god, that was brilliant. your writing, as always was impeccable, skilled and layered with tapestries of shifts, moving the reader into the moods, the emotions and the tragedy of the situation.

but, the twist at the end was downright genius.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
    wow! Thank you so much for your lovely six and high praise, my dear! I don't fancy myself as a flash fiction writer at all and this one took a LOT of mulling over and last minute 'aha's! From a fine author such as yourself, I'll take this as high praise.
    Blessings,
    Sharyn
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