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Reviews from
To Be Or Not To Be... Dead part5


When all is said and done... it's done

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
MelReyn
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
HI Greg! I didn't forget, life just got a little crazy (in a good way) with graduations and the last day of school and birthday parties and... whew! But here I am, ready to read. :)

I loved the good ole boy from WV. You did him justice. ;) My dad wasn't much for hunting... but my friend Denise, her Dad was. He used to take her out when she was little. (Kindergarten little)The squirrel shooting is spot on. ;) I grew up hearing stories and jokes about how good squirrel brains taste with a little butter and garlic.

LOL Sounds like Melissa has good taste in men. ;)

Your ending was unexpected, and yet expected. By that I mean, you carried through the bladder regulation thing, which I expected/hoped would be there but the showdown was a complete surprise. And I love surprises! For that alone, I felt a six was well earned. But don't let me downplay the rest of this segment, it was excellent from start to finish. I really enjoyed reading this!


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2013



reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
    Hey, Hey, Melissa... I just got back in town last night. was beat, beat, beat until I got home and found that 'A Murder Of Crows' was on cable. A movie I love! So here's me sitting up 'til 1am watching the movie, then taking a shower and crawling into bed... but up at 5am to feed the chickens... quickly realizing I have no chickens (except for fried) crawling back into bed until 7:30am... then getting up to face a brave new world (actually it's neither brave nor new but the words seem to go with 'world'... so there!)

    Thanks for your read on part five and I'm glad you approved of the West Virginia part... it is my nod to you, my friend!

    I enjoyed writing this one so much that I've decided to expand it later. It could reach novella length because I had to leave so much out while writing. It started out as a two part piece and grew to five... could have easily been more but it's hard to manage installments like that.

    Thanks for inspiring, dear friend

    greg

reply by MelReyn on 09-Jun-2013
    I'm truly thrilled and honored. Thank you so much for the nod! :D I feel pretty darn special right now.

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
    You're special all of the time!
Comment by
Peppy1105
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is very well written. The descriptions were strong and made a mental picture in my mind. The beginning caught my attention, and I stayed impressed throughout. Great job.
Best wishes
Peppy


 Comment Written 30-May-2013



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
    Thank you for both your read and review, Peppy. I appreciate your input and insight. I'm always grateful for kind words... and again, your insight.

    greg
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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Review Stars
  Rank:  95
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
One surprise ending to this tale, and I can't say it disappoints, though I might like to, since I like happy endings, just like the next guy...

Outstanding story, from start to finish - and your finish is a fireworks display at the biggest theme park.


 Comment Written 29-May-2013



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
    Thanks for input, Dawn. I'm sure most like happy endings... I do too... kind of. Of Course my happy ending is when the protagonist survives... kind of.

    Writing is often complimentary... often not... but the important thing is for it to be 'writing'.

    I appreciate your 'sixes' as I do your reviews, my friend.

    greg

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 02-Jun-2013
    Well, I guess if survival for your protagonist is 'happy ending' enough, then you wrote a happy ending...anyway, I was pleased to finally be able to rate as this story deserved.

    You're most welcome.

reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
    Thanks again, Dawn. You know that when we write, we follow the story... endings are fluid 'til the end.

    take care

    greg
Comment by
N.K. Wagner
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I like the way you set the scene here, Greg. Also the way you handled the cast of characters - no trouble keeping them all straight, even on short acquaintance. Very well done. :) nancy


 Comment Written 29-May-2013



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
    Good Morning, Nancy... I apologize for my late response. I'm in Baltimore for a bit and I've found it hard to steal time. I'm now locked in my hotel but the wolves (aka 'family') are on the scent trail.

    I'm always happy with praise from you... always. I thank you for the rating... and definitely for your words.

    greg

reply by N.K. Wagner on 02-Jun-2013
    You're safe until someone mentions a friend's niece, Greg. Have a good visit, my friend. :) nancy

reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
    Help me, Nancy... help me. The problem with a family member's friend's niece is exactly that.

    I appeciate you, Nancy
Comment by
Kiki12
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
perfection and me without a six. you could not have ended that better or more smoothly, tying up all the crazy loose ends- I think this is one of your finest writes. the characters were perfecly played and the imagery in this was outstanding, that opening scene felt like I was in the middle of the room with them. Loreen was a sick chickie, and, no I didn't see the sibling connection coming at all. exceptionally well done, my friend and entertaining as hell.
xo
Kiki


 Comment Written 28-May-2013



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
    This is attempt two in responding, dear friend. I'm in Baltimore for less than a week. It's Sunday morning and the old people in the family want me to go to church and testify... I'm taking the fifth. I tell nothing, admit nothing, reveal nothing... without a howitzer pointed at my head...

    Thanks for riding with me on the Lucas Jr. journey. And I 'preciate your kind words in review. I left out so much in this tale that I might expand it into a larger, leaner story. most of the characters begged for more telling.

    Will be back soon and look forward to reading you again.

    greg
Comment by
G.B. Smith
 
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Hey there Greg
Man you crack me up. This is not only humorous, but your plot carries a superb storyline as well. I like the interaction between your characters. I did not expect it to end that way
Bear


 Comment Written 27-May-2013



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
    Sorry, Glen... I'm in Baltimore and trying to steal time to check in. Thanks for your kind words and much appreciation for reaching out. Just so you know, my friend, I didn't expect it to end this way either!

    greg
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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Wasn't that Loreen just the duck's bill eh? I never trusted her right from the start because she too smart for her own good. That turned out to be a good prediction on my part. She needed to get herself a proper gun. Too bad Lucas Jr didn't get to put his penis to use for other purposes, but seriously bladder relief is about the best darn relief he'll ever get from that penis of his. Hopefully when he's old it'll still work for even that. Sometimes it gets stolen when a flash fiction prompt magically transportations bodies. Then the relieving of the bladder becomes a real mystery.

You know why I like you so much greg one? Because I'm always learning new things from you that's why. For example I had no idea until just today that if a floor is made out of wood it was once a tree. Practically blew my mind right here on this spot.

This is a super conclusion to your not flash noir fiction story. So is June gonna be gangster days in June in Baltimore beautiful city? I surely hope so. I might even take a bus tour.

Dynamite, brilliancy, exceptionality, superiorcity as usual. I'm practicing making up new words. I'm sicka all the old ones. I still ain't as good as George Bush and his misunderestimated word. That was a good one. Is he still alive? I forget.

Gloria one

PS: I just got a Lucky Leprauchan out of your treasure chest, so I consider that pretty lucky.



 Comment Written 27-May-2013



reply by the author on 28-May-2013
    Gloria one, I knew you were clever enough to pick up on Loreen... even before me. But it has been my experience that when a woman makes you feel good, feeling bad ain't far behind.

    Lucas Jr. does try to vary his penis uses. He does recognize the multi-tasking builds character. And women do
    so love 'character'... don't they?

    Thanks for letting me know why you like me so much. It helps me in my planning. The where wood comes from blew your mind? On this spot? Wait 'til you see what comes next!

    Thank you for concluding my conclusion was conclusive. I'm not yet sure what comes in June. I'm more sure about what's coming in July. And you know July is coming... lickity split.

    Good luck on the new words. Old words get boring after awhile. I heard George Bush is a librarian now.

    So we're going to start calling it a Leprauchan now?... Okay. Whatever floats your boat.

    greg one

reply by Gloria .... on 29-May-2013
    greg one,

    No double entrees here. It really WAS/IS a lucky Leprauchan Certificate and maybe more. Honest. It sounds like a lot of good things are coming down the pike. ie: turnpike. Some people say pipe, which is short for hashpipe which really isn't right as not much comes the hash pipe except for more hash and occasionally some pipe dreams.

    Georgie's a librarian now? Good on him. I guess not finding any WMDs transformed him into the quiet, mousey type. No wonder we can't find our books anymore. He never did understand the Dewey Decimal system or binary numbers.

    Gloria one

reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    Gloria one, I'm actually interested in the 'maybe more' which I believe is a bit of a tease... you're either going to give me more or not... if it's give me not... I'd rather know it immediately so I can cancel the broom (a 'b' comes in handy with secret messages, never leave Rome without it).

    I would have given up the hash pipe long ago but I never took it up. I figured if I was going to have pipe dreams I'd do it without the pipe... or without pipe-e longstocking who came up short stocking... Walmart shelves.

    I'm not sure why The George couldn't find any WMD's. I was at a party where I counted four Women Medical Doctors... I guess you just need to know where to look. I guess I'm good at finding them because my heart's been broken more than a broken record... player. It's good to know Women Medical Doctors who can not only perform surgery on my broken heart, but also gave me insider tips on vicious women...

    The good thing about binary numbers is the can go either way...

reply by Gloria .... on 29-May-2013
    greg one, course you're gonna get more. You from E. Balti MORE aren't you?

    I knew you never took up the hash pipe in the first place. I was just mentioning that on account of other people who might think it's a hash pipe.

    It's good thing hearts can't really be broken otherwise all the chillen would be afraid to jump around and play on the monkey bars and stuff if they feared their heart might actually break like an egg or something.

    It's always handy to know a Woman MD.
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
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What a great stand-up comedian you would make. Great one-liners as always. A pearl handled gun,huh? My hubby has one of those. Question:The upside-down 'nine' almost falls into my hand.
Hubby has a left-handed holster--would that be what you're talking about?
Midway through this, I thought of one of my favorite movies: Mask with Jim Carey.
Some favorite lines:
the floor is real wood which means it used to be a tree

He was shooting the nuts off of squirrels when other kids were shooting spitballs off each other.

A man's dick is a handle. That's how we lead you around.

I think I loved it before I made it a lump

Chuckles on this one. Love the consistent endings to each chapter. (I know I missed one-- am fighting a cold. I think it's winning.)





 Comment Written 27-May-2013



reply by the author on 28-May-2013
    Hey Shari, Lucas's rig is a two gun shoulder holster where the gun sits with the handle pointing down. It's a cross draw so you pull the left gun out with the right hand. When grabbing the gun the downward pressure releases the gun smoothly into the hand... quick draw, quick shot... quickly dead.

    Glad you enjoyed... makes me happy... colds are a pain... get well soon.

    greg
Comment by
cvcopac
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I waited and waited for this finale. I was right--Lucas JR walks and so does Pop's. I make those guy's out to be the good guy's and I'm glad it ended like it did. Too bad bad about Loreen: she was quite the historian/biographer exceptionale, among other things. I enjoyed the subtle twist at the end but enjoyed the tonque in cheek discloseures by, gunny. Lucas Jr. even more. Kenny


 Comment Written 27-May-2013



reply by the author on 28-May-2013
    Hey Friend Kenny, These guys had me going on this one. I needed a scorecard to keep up with them. Damien was quite a character but I never felt comfortable bringing him in outta the cold... the dude seemed better as the looming threat and I sorta fell in love with the undercover femme fatale... Loreen was quite a handful. As for Lucas Jr.? I really enjoyed that boy... he was who he was... and every so often that's more than enough.

    later bro,

    greg

reply by cvcopac on 29-May-2013
    Yes, Loreen, was a strong character; Lucas Jr is the thinking mans psychopathic killer and all-around, matter-of-factly, knight in shinning armor. You got it all in there mostly by way of dialogue.

reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    Thanks, Kenny... your feedback is always welcome feedback...
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
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Well you certainly have a flare with words Greg.
Sorry no six for you yet. You had some very funny lines in this story. Amazing how some peoples minds work.
Your dialogue is amazing. Well done. Nancy


 Comment Written 27-May-2013



reply by the author on 28-May-2013
    Thanks, Nancy... no six needed, your visit is more than enough. I appreciate your kind words. My mind never works... it mostly wanders until it bumps into something interesting. You'd make me blush if I weren't black... but then I'm always full of excuses.

    be happy, be blessed, be you

    greg
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