YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. THE FIRE WORKS DISPLAYS ARE ALWAYS A BEAUTY TO WATCH AND ARE FANTASTIC IF YOU CAN FIND A SPOT ON THE BEACH AWAY FROM EVERYONE AND IT IS LIKE YOU ALONE WITH THE WORLD IN A CONCERT
I think that the poem is good. I mean, it's really tough to review this type of poetry as its structure is very strict and limiting which, I suppose, makes the challenge of creating something amazing and insightful all the more difficult for the poet to accomplish. I like the first line the best ("When fire works above") as I thought that it was a clever play-on-words in regards to your inspiration; and I think that one way to improve the work would be if you were a little more descriptive in terms of relaying the emotional impact of the subject (maybe use more imagery through poetic devices such as metaphors and similes in order to provide another layer of depth to the piece). I would also suggest that you change the font colour as it's really hard to read the actual poem as it is right now. Anyways, good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
Thank you for the enlightening review, StarGirl27.