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Reviews from
2013


Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "This Evening Song"

Compilation of Various Poems and Writings

  38 total reviews 
Comment by
GaryCecil
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I liked this work as well!

Oh, how this evening song enchanted my
e'er lonesome heart! But as the score progressed,
soft rain and breezes stilled and I was left
alone within the stark of starless night.

GREAT ^^

Keep up the splendid writing!


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 07-Aug-2013
    Good Evening, Gary
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet.
    Ray
Comment by
nassus1957
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Excellent
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The poem reveals that the author is a romantic person, painting a grand picture of a valley in words while sitting by the porch enjoying the view at night, which made him remember a loved one and his burning love for her. The author is at home I guess with blank verse. God bless.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 10-Aug-2013
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet.
    Ray
Comment by
Leineco
 
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Excellent
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There is such luscious phrasing here!
Valley's languid clock...
as evening melded into night...
soft rain and breezes stilled...
within the stark of starless night...


The mood is firmly set, as is the scene.
And the closing line
my heart's e'erlasting love for you. is the perfect conclusion.

very nice write :-)


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Hello, Poet

    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet.

    -ray
Comment by
Just2Write
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Ray:
Another beautiful poem from your gifted mind. The poem reads so smoothly too. I found it very pleasurable.
It's clear that Blank Verse is one of your strong suits.


Beautiful sentiments in V3 -
Oh, how this evening song enchanted my
e'er lonesome heart! But as the score progressed,
soft rain and breezes stilled and I was left
alone within the stark of starless night

Smooth as silk. Rose.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Hello Again, Rose,
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet. Thanks for sharing with me the lines you liked best.

    I hope all is well with you,
    Ray
Comment by
Jane Johnson
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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I don't care what you call it, it made sense and flowed well. That's all that really matters to me. It was a non-rhyming verse like the last one I just read. You do pretty well with those. Again, I would add some artwork. Thank you for sharing.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet. I used to append digital art to my poetry, but no longer do so. I found on many occasions, my poetry was rated based on artwork.
    Ray
Comment by
2014 Script Writer Of The Year
Tomes Johnston
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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This is a very heartfelt poem. The emotions and feelings run through and through. The author takes the reader on a journey that he will never forget. This is a beautiful poem.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet.
    -ray

reply by Tomes Johnston on 12-Aug-2013
    It was my pleasure.
Comment by
MissMerri
Merri, Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  123
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Such a beautiful sonnet! You have a way of creating a unique music as well as a powerful mood in your poetry that is emotionally moving and deeply satisfying. I read this several times. It has some amazing lines in it.

"'Twas five by Valley's languid clock" is one (the g in languid looks like a q in this line. A typo perhaps?)
"Soft winds and gentle rain that sifted through its leaves," is another favorite, creating a vivid image as well as strong mood.
"Soft rain and breezes stilled and I was left alone within the stark of starless night" gave me chills. You are a master wordsmith.

The whole poem is touching and powerful and beautifully musical. I loved it all. I'm so glad you posted this one.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Good Afternoon, My Friend
    Thanks so much for this superb review and your many glowing comments and stars. I'm delighted you enjoyed my sonnet. Thanks also for your keen eye in catching the misspelling. The edit has been made. Your review is wonderful.
    Ray
Comment by
MAMONIA
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
How very beautiful are these words. So tender and
loving and full of memories of times past. These
are the things that keep man alive. The wonder of
love and the heart filled with lament for what was.
But luckily there is always times to look forward to
in a young one's life.
You have so much more to travel.
Thanks for the enjoyment of reading this lovely work.
Marie


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Hello Again, Marie
    Thanks so much for this excellent review and your very kind comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet. I'm so sorry for the delayed response.
    Ray
Comment by
teafor2
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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mountainwriter49--With a mixture of modern day and standard
language scribe's relates what started as a casual pastime
in his naturesque "heaven" led to reflection of escapades
with the object of his affections. Moreover, peripherals
and nuances caused a forlornness and pinning for this lost
love. Poetics just as captivating as the theme and tone.


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet.
    Ray
Comment by
Dorothy Farrell
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  23
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  47
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a lovely sonnet and you have worded it beautifully. Your last two lines are really very lovely. The only line that misses the 10 syllables is the one starting 'Pianissimo.....' which only 9 - you will be able to put that right I'm sure - maybe 'has lured' or 'did lure' whatever, this is lovely. Regards Dorothy


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2013



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
    Good Afternoon, Dorothy
    Thanks so much for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my sonnet. I went back to review the line you've questioned. You're absolutely correct and I will now go back and fix the line. Thank you so much!
    -Ray
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