let me see... I understand this a bit too well... I felt the silence that was so deafening a few too many times... I also tink the only way you could improve, my friend is to
add maybe an actual recordeing of you reading any of your work... Would be great to hear you read those wonderful thoughts and give us another dimension to your work...
I always love reading you... And use you for an example when ever newbies ask me how to write poetry
There is so much going on here, and the more I read it, the more I see.
What an excellent metaphor!
Sometimes, one never recovers from choking on words, hence, silence.
Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
You waded through with rasps of judgment [rasps are vicious] > powerful line
Haha! Mad! The lad is Mad, I tell you. Red is blue and roses are petunias. Politicians get along, no matter what side of the opinion they are on. And, last, but not least, Marillion is writing AND . . . AND . . . liking it. Gasp! Choke. Gotta love it.
This evokes such strong memories of my ex-wife that I find it a bit uncomfortable to read. I think I would prefer those memories not surface too often. However, the fact that your writing does create those images in my mind is indicative of the quality of the writing. Not that I expected anything less.
OK, that's just TOO much to swallow. I hope you're not thinking of anyone who doesn't have eight legs, there! The metaphors are spinning their own webs in this one, and it is, as Jilly Cooper once put it, "a sparkling piece of aggro".