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Reviews from
A Change of Pace


My forays into free verse

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
Storyweaver
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
Hey, free verse! A very good free verse. I like the emotion here, an angry tone fired with great aim!
This appeals to me because it is how I like to express feelings.
Very well done!
Weaver


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Diny
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
Okay David...
let me see... I understand this a bit too well... I felt the silence that was so deafening a few too many times... I also tink the only way you could improve, my friend is to
add maybe an actual recordeing of you reading any of your work... Would be great to hear you read those wonderful thoughts and give us another dimension to your work...

I always love reading you... And use you for an example when ever newbies ask me how to write poetry
Bravo again
Write on
Diny


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Lisloh
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
ALRIGHTY THEN ~~

I sure hope this isn't your last word.....

There is so much going on here, and the more I read it, the more I see.
What an excellent metaphor!
Sometimes, one never recovers from choking on words, hence, silence.
Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh

You waded through with rasps of judgment [rasps are vicious] > powerful line




 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Ls
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
Haha! Mad! The lad is Mad, I tell you. Red is blue and roses are petunias. Politicians get along, no matter what side of the opinion they are on. And, last, but not least, Marillion is writing AND . . . AND . . . liking it. Gasp! Choke. Gotta love it.


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
sswhiplash
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
This evokes such strong memories of my ex-wife that I find it a bit uncomfortable to read. I think I would prefer those memories not surface too often. However, the fact that your writing does create those images in my mind is indicative of the quality of the writing. Not that I expected anything less.


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
shelley kaye
taking each day
a night at a time
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
omg!
someone call the guiness book of world records ;-)

very nicely done

[I won't] <- did you mean IT?


thanks for sharing :-)





















 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Pili Pubul
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
I must confess I am having fun ! Your free verse works very well with this fast
and sharp "cold war" LOL.

"not when my held breath
plumps this heart to proportions
too large to swallow.

Your choking silence will be a just dessert.


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Quite Spirited
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word

To pass this by, never.
So entangled am I.
Within your web of words
Bated and hooked am I.

Reeled into your den
Offered supper am I.
Too late it shows me trapped
It's your dinner am I.

Sweet turns sour so soon
Feeling textured am I.
Silver-plattered service
No. Just dessert am I.

I love the inspiration you have and give through your well-timed metered lines with or without rhyme.


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Seancuig
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
Ha,

You are about as close to being a helpless fly caught in a spiders web as I am to be JRR Tolkien (couldn't help the comparison, I am a touch of a fan too...GRIN)

This is great. Sounds like you are enjoying taking a gentle swipe here David.

I love it.
Sean


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
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  Rank:  253 (+19)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  179
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  Rank:  52
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  Rank:  398
 
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Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
OK, that's just TOO much to swallow. I hope you're not thinking of anyone who doesn't have eight legs, there! The metaphors are spinning their own webs in this one, and it is, as Jilly Cooper once put it, "a sparkling piece of aggro".


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2005


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