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Reviews from
A Dual (Beginning) At Dawn


The dawn of day...and love.

  40 total reviews 
Comment by
darla1977
 
Review Stars
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a nice poem! Very descriptive words, and really pretty!
Great photo choice it goes well with your words! Good job!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 15-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014
    Thank you.
Comment by
livelylinda
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
David: thank you for "Hallmarking the bitch up for me". Yes, I already know you can write almost Rogue-less love poems. This is quite lovely. . .that word, "lovely", not terribly masculine is it? Oh, well! Love your words, Linda


 Comment Written 15-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014
    Anything for you, Linda. :-) I'll take a lovely anytime, my friend. Thank you! David
Comment by
GWHARGIS
 
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Excellent
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I should give you a six, just for your author's notes. Hallmarked this bitch up for you. How hilarious that was. The poem was lovely, seriously. If you were going for a spoof of a love poem, you missed it. It was beautiful and the imagery was wonderful. Nicely done.


 Comment Written 14-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014
    Honestly, it wasn't a spoof, but a dig at those who wanted one like this. I still meant it, and enjoyed it. I really appreciate your great review. Thank you.
Comment by
RPSaxena
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  165
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  99
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Marillion,
Lovely Love Poem!
It beautifully depicts loving 'love scene'.
Simple and impressive wording.
Nice rhyming scheme with lively imagery and pictorial quality.
The most striking lines are:
"The two communed with words
In hushed disclosure, all they yearned to say,..."
Excellent!


 Comment Written 14-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014
    Thanks so much, RPSaxena. I really appreciate it!
Comment by
Visheshta Dahiya
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
a beautiful poem which describes the beautiful feeling of love. the vocabulary is just too good. loved the expressions and the picture created by the lovely words. a great poem indeed. i liked it ...!!!
best wishes
Visheshta


 Comment Written 14-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014
    Thank you so much, Vishesta. I really appreciate it.

reply by Visheshta Dahiya on 14-Feb-2014
    welcome :)
Comment by
rama devi
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  151
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Deliciously descriptive love poem with fantastic phrasing and fine poetic devices woven in. Enjoyed the sweet, slow pacing ornamented with the intensity of passion. Excellent context-depiction, especially:


Till shrill alarms from skimming birds
Were heralding the day;


Favorite stnza

And it arose in full,
A tangerine eruption, citrus-bright,
Through clouds?as stripped as shredded wool?
That thinned in wind and light.


Yummy to read aloud, and this is especially original:
A tangerine eruption, citrus-bright,

thinned in wind in light (wish I conjured that savory line!)

Superb meter and style. You do hallmark deftly, dear D!

Love,
rd


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014
    You're so sweet, my friend. Thank you so much for another sixer, and for those specifics. I feel like you know me well enough to pick out the places that mean the most to me. Much love, David

reply by rama devi on 14-Feb-2014
    It's a total pleasure! :-))
Comment by
Just2Write
 
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Excellent
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OHhhh. I had to check the author name a couple of times to make sure that this was something that YOU wrote. Very sentimental work in perfect meter (the meter certainly matches your skill) But the fluff and fancy of the moon and love, beach and tomorrow - that was, well... chick flick stuff. Darned good though.
Then I read your notes and I knew I did not need to check that author name again. Yup. That was pure you, calling your creation a bitch.
Rose.


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014
    Yes, I figured that might confuse a few people, so I got snarky with the author notes, unnecessarily, probably. :-) Just trying to mix it up a bit, my friend. Thanks so much! David
Comment by
Maria C.
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A good title for starters. Excellent mechanics. I like the different line lengths. Good use of poetic devices. Great imagery with descriptive wording in the second line and all of the third verse. A lovely romantic ending.
Blessings,
Maria C.


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014
    Thanks so much, Maria! I appreciate it!
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
Review Stars
  
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
this is very well written, marillion, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful quatrain poem about the sun that rose on a love filled day. i enjoyed reading it....


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014
    Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate it.
Comment by
Katzintx
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well it seems the Rogue has gain influence once more with a duel at dawn. As always your structure is sublime. I would have preferred a less Hallmark version...smirk...no accounting for tastes..
You words infer rather than state which adds layers and who isn't a sucker for iambic pentameter in a love poem.
katz


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014



reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014
    Thank you, katz. Don't worry, Hallmark will give way to Walmart very soon again. I appreciate it, my friend.
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