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Reviews from
He Lies Alone


He made his bed, and now has to lie in it.

  71 total reviews 
Comment by
pipersfancy
 
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What goes around comes around - some call it karma... I don't know if life unfolds that way, but it certainly lends a sense of satisfaction to believe it does!

Christina


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Christina, and you're so right...though I'm also unsure whether it does or not.
Comment by
ravenblack
 
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Really good closing line showing the true power of a lie. Just hope his stare down at the ceiling fan is not akin to that scene in apocalypse now. " Damn old Sam-her blasted cat " says a lot about his character. Secretly, he had an affection for the cat but could not express it which is probably another reason why he is alone.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thanks for the time with my work, rb. Love your review, my friend.
Comment by
twinklepoems
 
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She just left him? In my poems they get shot if they lie...I guess that's if they cheat. I like the iambic pentameter (I hope that's what it is). "Within the rage that plagues an aging man." (great imagery) I love the last line, "he lied to her and now he lies alone."
by the way, you inspired me to write a response to your poem (dis)solution. Mine is called "Lexical Fisticuffs"


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Well, that would be another way to go, twinkle. :) Thank you very much, and I'll be sure to check out your poem! Many thanks for that, too. David
Comment by
ELumpkins
 
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A well written piece. The picture is perfect for this piece. The fellow in bed (alone)thinking why. Will she come back? and other torchous thoughts. Things don't ;ook too good for any reunion soon. He lies alone. dies alone. he is alone.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, ELumpkins. I appreciate it.
Comment by
darla1977
 
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Excellent, as always! Love that "he lies alone" opens and closes the piece both! Trumped his need -great line!
-Darla


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Darla, for your great review! I appreciate it!
Comment by
velvetElvis
 
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clever rhymes..

lies alone
dies alone
he's on his own

lied to her/lies alone

love the repetition that tells the story of the infidelity (nice aside to include the cat as the reminder of what he lost)


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend. I appreciate it.
Comment by
smudge
 
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An interesting narrative poem about those locked in the past by age and short term memory loss. A well written but sad poem. Well presented.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, smudge!
Comment by
L.A.Matthies
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Terrific work, David. I love the play on words, nice use of rhyme and a clear message - no action is still an action though perhaps not very effective :)Linda


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, my friend, and I appreciate the review.
Comment by
James Chaima Phiri
 
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Oh, I see!
Because of her lies, he lies alone.
This is a difficult situation to come out of. Denial comes part of you. Believing that things will change for better becomes the rod to keep you struggling forward in your mental torture.
This is excellent work.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    That's correct, James! Thanks so much for your excellent review.
Comment by
michaelcahill
Level 1 Pro
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos
 
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Ah. Those idiots. This is the one they didn't notify me of. You mentioned it somewhere that they didn't notify the postings when the messages disappeared. I came lookin'. I must say I would've have been pissed to miss this one. This is a great piece. The flow and content is amazing. That last line is killer. Wow. That is a great ending to a great piece. Perfection. mikey


 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Mikey, thank you so much, my friend. Yes, this was the one, and it irritated me, especially when we pump it up to be seen. I was proud of this one, too, so I'm glad you caught it. Much gratitude, brother.
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