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Reviews from
Leaving


You're and Your-Before and After

  51 total reviews 
Comment by
Visheshta Dahiya
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
a great poem.
it goes well with your notes.
the rhyming words are great.
the phrase "You're leaving? " adds interest in the poem.
best wishes
Visheshta


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, V.

reply by Visheshta Dahiya on 06-Mar-2014
    welcome :)
Comment by
2014 Script Writer Of The Year
Rondeno
 
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Excellent
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It's terrific, David.

You've told me before that you love dialogue within a poem, and here you give us a spare, efficient, yet graceful example of how to do it well.

It is very refreshing (and heartening!) to meet such a gifted poet who happens to believe, as I do, that "any old sloppy free verse hash" just isn't good enough. Sure, there are some projects which work in free verse (some even DEMAND it) but the test of a poet, for me, is the adroit handling of rhyme and rhythm.

And you, sir, are World Class.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Mike, you and I are truly kindred spirits, as well as mutually World Class, my friend, and I couldn't agree more about the 'free verse hash' line. I do have respect for it when well done, but I also believe those who can't rhyme and meter...don't. ;-)

reply by Rondeno on 06-Mar-2014
    I've voted for you in the poem of the month thing. People are saying some wonderful things about you, amigo.

reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Mike! I really appreciate it!
Comment by
nassus1957
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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I like the message of your poem about the agony of separation and the whole gamut of emotion associated with leaving and separation. The poem speaks too, of defiance, of denial of pain, but deep inside, despite the armor of justifications such as "your leaving wrote this verse", the pain is still felt. God bless.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, nassus, for your great review!
Comment by
krys123
 
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Excellent
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Your creativity, witticism and originality shows your genius in writing this particular poem. I love the way you scripted
These words in verse and made a pull it off so well because it was spot on. Thank you for sharing and posting your work for everyone and may you in years always have been fine peace.
Alex


 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Alex, for a very flattering and appreciated review.

reply by krys123 on 06-Mar-2014
    You are so sincerely welcome.
Comment by
Taffspride
 
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Aah, you have hit the nail on the head with this well written and educational poem David.

The use of "your" in place " you're" is one of my pet peeves, so I think all school children should be made to learn it by heart.

Good rhythm and rhyming makes it fun to read aloud. it also makes it easier to remember.

Not sure why I have not seen more of your work, I thought I had fanned you. Will get right on it.

Iechyd da

Ann




 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Ann. I thought so, too, and you're on my list, too. I really appreciate the great review, my friend.
Comment by
kiwijenny
 
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I love the your leaving....with you're leaving....leaving can be freeing
Your leaving wrote this verse...
So you are not averse to leaving
God bless


 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, jenny! :)
Comment by
ELumpkins
 
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Very strange piece. It is well written and gets the point across. The piece is easy to read and flows smoothly from line to line. The structure is strange but effective. I take it from the verse that someone is leaving and will not be missed.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much for the great review.
Comment by
pipersfancy
 
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Such effective use of the you're/your beginnings to each line! I wasn't sure how well I liked it the first time through, but it works creating almost a chant-like mantra, offering both sides of the same coin.

Christina


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Christina. It's an acquired taste, I think.
Comment by
ravenblack
 
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Great play between game face or false bravado with honesty. You're/your a great device showing mask on/mask off. Ironic in that the two most closely match in the final two lines. Cool structural device and great wit.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you, Raven. I really appreciate it!
Comment by
skye
 
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Excellent
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Even though the subject is painful, as in any situation where someone is leaving, this poem plays on the dialogue of the inner conversation, which is fresh and clever.
Excellent.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thanks again, my friend, for your great review.
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