Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

One Line Poem
Deadline: In 2 Days

Halloween Story
Deadline: In 5 Days

Halloween Poetry
Deadline: In 5 Days

True Story Flash
Deadline: Nov 2nd

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: Nov 4th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Road Rage


A Sonnet

  57 total reviews 
Comment by
paulah60
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Still playing catch-ups and found this little gem!
I've a sense this poem is about something deeper than road rage (of course I do!) although it's just dressed as that. It feels like it's about passive-aggressiveness, that insidious behaviour, which, at best, can erode a relationship, and at worst, can slowly erode the self-esteem of the one on the receiving end, making him/her always second-guess themselves. You've cleverly conveyed this:
No, your offense is not in what you've screamed;
it's how you've simmered, feigning innocence
by simply asking, 'What has you so steamed?'
I love all your work, David, but my favourites are ones like this with such rich subtext cloaked in anecdotal forms that are so accessible because we can all relate: in this case, the nagging, 'bunching the knuckles', the fart (and this had me laughing aloud because farts crack me up. Yes, I'm so deep! In fact, you've given me the topic for my next poem. See, you do inspire me!!).
No superfluous words in this truly exceptional sonnet: every one of them reinforces the message. Sublime!
Cheers
Paula


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Wow, you REALLY have been away, haven't you? Thanks so much, my friend. Yes, it's much deeper, though most here seemed to not see past the surface. Thank you for rescuing me and my poem from the literal readers with your infusion of depth.

    You've nailed it, my friend, as you always do...and thanks for the laugh at "fart". Glad to know you can be tickled over stuff like that, too. I should have known. :)

reply by paulah60 on 11-Mar-2014
    Is that a sign of superior intelligence or a simple mind? LOL Just remember, whatever you answer, you're implicating yourself as well!
Comment by
Walter L. Jones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Like the verse, nailed the tail, woops wrong tale, too accurate, always a wonderful write in structure and voice, best day out there. Walt


 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, my friend!
Comment by
mfowler
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I've told Barb, 'stop naggin or you walk', but that's just foreplay in our house. Your poem describes the tension building in a very bold and interesting manner. Love the bunch in' knuckles on the steering wheel. Those amusing, but bitter-sweet similes that you use to image your wife/partner (art thief, farting dog begin to show that this relationship is not just focused on a bit of back seat driving, but on simmering tensions in the relationship.

I love the way you've worked the lines in this. I'm usually very aware of your meter (guess why), but here I got into the meat of the poem trying to,appreciate the narrative and the imagery. It was all very natural.


 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thanks for the laugh, Mark, as well as the great review. I appreciate it, my friend.
Comment by
Cycler
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Smiling ... I agree. Funny that I do not say anything, yet my spouse feels what you say. OK, maybe I feel a bit tense when they drive. I guess it shows. But, I do not express this in words. Words and the tense sensation are different: You can deal more easily with the words but do not know what to deal with the sensation ( is it me ... or thee?). Whether expressed or impressed, the sensations and feelings are there and I felt this with your words, ... nicely!


 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, garçon. I really appreciate it.
Comment by
GWHARGIS
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I couldn't tell you how many times I have simply pulled over and told my husband to shut up and just drive. He is hyper critical of every move I make in the car. Makes for long road trips. I really liked the aggression in this. Nicely done.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend, for that great review. I appreciate it
Comment by
Tatarka2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Again, I love the way you make the rhyming seem so effortless. I'm so envious. You've described such a common situation and the feelings it seems we've all had in just a few lyrical and evocative words. Well done.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thank you again, Tatarka, for your great review, and for your nice comments. David
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  26
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  31
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Marillion
A sonnet about road Rage I wonder how the Old Masters of sonnets would say of you modern way of expressing your self
I know I would say, "unique."

Gert



 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Gert. They'd probably first ask what a car is. ;)

reply by Gert sherwood on 08-Mar-2014
    You made me smile about the car ( very good)
    Gert
Comment by
Just2Write
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Arguing on the road can be as dangerous as texting while driving - the thoughts of anger just eat up brain space and leave little room for thinking about the vehicle. The weight of thought outweighs the car and its precarious speed. Double trouble, and you capture the emotions very well in this tit-for-tat exchange between quarrelling couples in a car.
You've got some excellent lines in here:

or you're the one who slips a silent fart,
then blames the dog, and, like the stench, escapes.

The close is perfect:
I drop you off and leave, but have to say
that you're the one who's driving me away

Rose.



 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Rose, again, for your great review.
Comment by
Adri7enne
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  382
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh, men, and their passive-aggresive behavior behind the wheel. Is it any wonder women don't trust their driving? It's like delivering up your life into the hands of a toddler having a temper tantrum. LOL! I'd rather drive myself. You caught the "simmering", unvoiced anger that's often fueled and released in road rage. It's a dangerous occupation. Well done, David.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    You're so right, my friend. Thanks so much, Adrienne!
Comment by
Kingsland
 
Review Stars
  
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I really liked the way you ended this poem. It kind of brings it full circle. This was a well written verse that was interesting and yet very poetic. I enjoyed reading and writing this response for it... John


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, John, for your very kind review.
  -1-  2 3 4 5 6  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Victim or Villain
Harold's Story


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy