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Reviews from
Lost Angelino: Hollywood 101


The sights and sounds...

  58 total reviews 
Comment by
Donya Quijote
 
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Your poem, in my opinion, describes LA very well. It is indeed a fine observation with a bit of sarcasm, satire, and criticism on the side. LA is definitely a city of contrasts: there are the poor, the dreamers, the ordinary, and, of course, the rich and uber-rich. It's huge and intimidating. I can only imagine how I would see this grand city if I were to visit it. I haven't been that far west yet. But the same could be said of New York and of Chicago. I grew up in the suburbs just outside of Washington and always thought how cool it would be to live in New York. I've visited the city many times, and visiting is all I ever want to do. These large cities have a superficial quality about them, one that you allude to in this poem. I felt small and lost. Funny thing is is that I didn't feel that way while I was living in Barcelona as a student. There is something different about that city compared to New York and the others.

Flawless as usual and more personal than many of the others. I always enjoy reading the perspectives of others. It kind of lets me know at least that I am not alone, and that my thoughts and feelings are equally valid.

Thanks for sharing...


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Hi Donya. I'm jealous of you living in Barcelona. My brother visited there when he was living in London and loved it. It's on my bucket list. You're right, of course, about big cities, and each has its own personality, and the ability to make us feel small, as well as the population to display all kinds. I always appreciate your kind thoughts, my friend.

    David
Comment by
Just2Write
 
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I just don't know how you do it. You come up time after time with supreme poetry about the things in life I don't normally give a second thought to, and I'm sure would NEVER inspire me to write - but you do. And you do it so well.
The poem has beautiful cadence, and the words are never forced or hammered into place. An easy, breezy read.

We have a Highway 101, but it is nothing compared to your commute in Los Angeles. I'm sure I would be terrified to drive in LA.

I used to say, while driving Hollywood,
The 101 has every demographic-- (great rhyme for traffic!)
The beauties--more in tune with looking good
Than fretting over stacked-up, backed-up traffic--
(nice internal rhyme with stacked-up / backed up.)

Those surfers--still so mellow when they drove--
The rappers and the rockers, who would blast
(Nice alliteration with Surfers-still so, and against with rappers and rockers)

Their Blaupunkt systems as they honked and wove
Like demons with a soundtrack when they passed.
(man, can I relate to that. Some sound systems make my house shake when the car they're in drives by. Innovative use of Blaupunkt in poetry too. Bravo)

The nouveau riche -- in their Italian toys
Amid the older models past their primes
(Nice double entendre - for cars and older men)

Archaic cars that belched and bellowed noise
Like dinosaurs from prehistoric times).
(Good save on clarity, and a fun poke at the behemoths we used to drive)

The limousines would seem to stretch for years-- (great descriptor)

The pimped-up rides had chromed-out, spinning spokes
And rear-view mirrors decked with chandeliers.
(you create a great visual here)

I'd sit in gridlock, bored, and look around,
Observing others through surreal exhaust, (good introduction to smog)

And think, I wonder where you all are bound--
Am I the only fool who's truly lost?

(I've often thought what it would be like to jump into a car during grid-lock and see what was happening there. It might even make a good Walter-Mitty type story, who knows.
Nice use of double entendre on 'lost'
Some of us truly are, and some of us just fake knowing where we are.
Rose.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    What an incredible review, Rose, and one I'll treasure, my friend. Thank you so much for the detail you've gone into, and for your excellent insights and very kind comments. I do appreciate it so much.
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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California traffic has its own edition to "Nightmare on Elm Street." This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Charley, for the great review and the laugh.

reply by c_lucas on 08-Mar-2014
    You're welcome, Marillion. Charlie
Comment by
Alan K Pease
 
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You poem is loaded with metaphor concerning every demographic from the deportment of girls concerned with their good looks - to yourself concerned with the noise and smog feeling bored and lost in a moment of trying to put your observations together in a rational way. You achieve this in an entertaining way.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Alan, for the great review.
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
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this is very well written, marillion, you did an excellent job writing this poetic description of the different people that make up los angeles. I enjoyed reading it. I like the last stanza the best, showing the hopelessness that everyone feels from time to time.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, my friend. I appreciate the great review.
Comment by
robina1978
 
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The photo of the Hollywood sign complements your rhyming poem very well. You describe many things that were there.
You were bored and don't know why other weren't.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Ine. I appreciate it!
Comment by
Helvi2
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Hi David,

The last thing I would think you'd be on this Rte was bored! LOL You certainly painted a colorful picture of this highway. I think I'd actually have a heart attack driving this highway. Love the abab, cdcd and forth of your rhyme scheme. This definitely was a fun read with vivid sights and sounds. I'm glad I don't have to drive the 101, but I enjoyed the journey with you. With the sadness of Alvin Ethington's passing this poem brought a smile to my face.

Thanks! :o)Helvi


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend. It doesn't stay boring for long. You get used to it, but I do prefer less lanes, less traffic, and less characters on my road now. I'm so glad it brought a smile, Helvi.
Comment by
Bryana
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I thought that some time in your life you were an angel and not a bad boy.
I love your poem. As always, a pleasure to read your work my friend.
And I the only fool who's truly lost?


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Ana, I really appreciate that sixer, my friend. Thank you very much. I value your thoughts.
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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What a great poem! I sat in traffic with you, and thoroughly enjoyed the show, regardless of the fumes. (Yes, the imagery was that terrific!) David, you're amazing - I LOVED all of it, but THIS ESPECIALLY >> "Archaic cars that belched and bellowed noise Like dinosaurs from prehistoric times..." Wow. Simply amazing imagination you have.

Sadly, no sixes. But this is just one more of every one I rate as outstanding!!! ******************************


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Dawn. I'd love to sit in traffic with someone like you, my friend, as we could have a great time looking around and discussing the sights. I really appreciate your kind and flattering words and your virtual sixer! David
Comment by
Angel Blessings
 
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Good write as usual! Great presentation, your words flowed well. Good imagery, good rhythm, and rhyme. I am from California and remember the sign vividly! Angel Blessings


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend. I appreciate your great review!
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