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Reviews from
Lost Angelino: Hollywood 101


The sights and sounds...

  58 total reviews 
Comment by
Kingsland
 
Review Stars
  
 
Excellent
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I think you got that backward. It's not you who were lost at all. But the worst of the art form that crept along as it crawls.This Was a very entertaining piece of poetic artistry to have read and written this response for... John


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, John. I appreciate it!
Comment by
STEPHEN A CARTER
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Loved the intentionally skewed imagery, enhanced by the use of alliteration, for ex:
"...stacked-up, backed-up traffic--
"...surfers--still so mellow
"...rappers and the rockers, who would
"...blast Their Blaupunkt systems
"(Archaic cars that belched and bellowed

Loved this verse in particular:
The limousines would seem to stretch for years--
The pimped-up rides had chromed-out, spinning spokes
And rear-view mirrors decked with chandeliers.
The stoners rode in groups while sharing tokes.


Strong conclusion:
I'd sit in gridlock, bored, and look around,
Observing others through surreal exhaust,
And think, I wonder where you all are bound--
Am I the only fool who's truly lost?

Another wild ride, executed with panache and consummate literary skills. BRAVO!!

Regards:


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Stephen, I really appreciate that sixer, my friend, and your great comments. Have a great weekend.

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 07-Mar-2014
    Dear M: My pleasure.

    Steve
Comment by
kiwijenny
 
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Excellent
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I look around in traffic too and imagine...but here in Atlanta...most cars are a monotone black silver grey and white are predominant....there isn't the contrasts you speak of as much as in Lost Angeles
God bless


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Jenny. I've experienced the Atlanta traffic, too, and it has that same urban sprawl issue as L.A.

reply by kiwijenny on 07-Mar-2014
    I had a meeting 70 miles away on the south side of town that started at 6:15....so I left at 2:30 to make sure I got there on time:o)
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  6
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  64
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  44
 

#6 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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This is wonderful, and I definitely wish I had a six left. Excellent rhyme and flow in this, and you do a great job of creating atmosphere. Very vivid descriptions of the scene--the surfers, rappers, rockers. Excellent description of the cars and limos. "Like demons with a soundtrack" is excellent simile. You certainly capture this particular setting and atmosphere. judi


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Judi. I'll take a virtual sixer, my friend, and thank you for it! I appreciate your great review and kind comments.

reply by judiverse on 08-Mar-2014
    You're so welcome. Lots of color and atmosphere that I enjoyed. judi
Comment by
buzclick
 
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Bean Thar, done that!
Took me into memories of a past home.

I was stationed in the navy in Long Beach.
My greatest memory was on the cliffs above Black's Beach in the '70's. When the sunset the air was so clear you could watch the sun drop down until it dissolved into the ocean.
In the late '80's the next time I was there the smog hid the sun long before it reached the water. Time stood in an orange haze.
In the late '90's the air was cleaned up a lot and the sunset was again spectacular.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, buzclick! My Dad was Navy, too! I didn't spend much time in Long Beach, but I did have a couple of friends there. You really experienced the smog and the aftermath, my friend. I was there to visit when it was at its worst, and I'm glad it's still maintaining a better air quality. I appreciate the great review and personal sharing. I'm not even sure I ever visited Black's Beach.

reply by buzclick on 07-Mar-2014
    Black's Beach is in La Jolla over from USC campus. It's known for hang gliding and the nude beach down the cliffs.

reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Gotcha. Now I think I know where you're referring to.
Comment by
jadapenn
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
They say I have one sixer left. It is now yours. Yes, I think it must be really interesting to sit and just observe the goings-on of all those plastic people. Yup I said plastic. They live in their own little universe. lol.
Well written poem. I enjoyed the read. luv jada


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Jada, thank you so much for awarding me your last sixer. Much appreciated, and you're right. Lots on plastic out there, of all sorts.
Comment by
trimple
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Poet Rating
 
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Excellent
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I cannot comment on the structure of poem for I am still not able. However, what I can say is that as I read I had a great sense of being there. I loved reading two lines
especially....

"The beauties--more in tune with looking good"

This line brought home to me what my husband paints about.
This is such a fantastic line Marillion.

Also..

The limousines would seem to stretch for years--

LOL Great line:)

A great observation

kind regards
tracey :)





 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you again, Tracey. If you ever have questions on form, don't hesitate to ask, my friend. I appreciate the great review.

reply by trimple on 07-Mar-2014
    Well, I rarely attended school much.
    I was a rebel. In those days, society was very sexist.
    On arrival at 'The Big School' i was asked what i intended to do when I left.
    I said that I dreamed of being an architect.
    I was offered cooking sewing and typing lessons. I asked why it was that I could not attend technical drawing, woodwork and metalwork. The heads response was.
    "You will be the only girl!"
    So I didn't bother going very much, as i was given the cane each week for not taking the cover off of the typewriter.

    So basically, I knew nothing about grammar and writing.
    I arrived here shortly before having a heart attack November 2012. I have learnt so much, and thank you for offering your pearls of wisdom:)

    Much love
    tracey :) xxx

reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you, Tracey. I'm so glad you're here.
Comment by
velvetElvis
 
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when I read the title I knew I'd be reading this one.

demographic/backed up traffic (nice)
The nouveau riche-in their Italian toys (love it)

I can hear the Blaupunkt stereos and smell the exhaust. lots of great images, another finally penned piece.

love it!


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, my friend. I really appreciate it!
Comment by
Norbanus
 
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Delightful how you've caught the flavor here
Of 101 and it's cousins all around,
We sit and spew our carbon in the air
covering our nose (but not much ground)


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, my friend. Great epigram. You could expand this one easily into a companion piece.
Comment by
Taffspride
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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I hated driving in LA, it was worse than anywhere I had been.

I love your analogies here David. But more than that as I read it, I am totally transported there. You make the reader see, feel, and taste it. Even if someone had never been there they would be able to visualize it perfectly.

My favorite line, the ones that truly resonated with me are:

I'd sit in gridlock, bored, and look around,
Observing others through surreal exhaust,


Great job

Iechyd da

Ann


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Ann, for those kind words, my friend. It's awful. I'll never forget driving from Burbank to Marina del Rey in a driving rainstorm at dusk. Most harrowing drive I ever took.
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