King Wise
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Lost Angelino: Hollywood 101


The sights and sounds...

  58 total reviews 
Comment by
catch22
 
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What a great use of quatrains to convey your message of feeling disconnected in a superficial culture (e.g. Hollywood). The iambs were spot on as always and the rhymes were inventive (loved the pairing of "years"/ "chandeliers"). Quite a bleak picture you paint of life in the city, but a great poem.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Gail, for your great review! I appreciate it!
Comment by
rama devi
 
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 Rank:  223
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Having driven in that area, I can attest to the accuracy of your descriptions. It's nuts! Demon drivers for sure. This was an entertaining read, and masterfully penned, as usual.

I always enjoy reading your poetry aloud, especially the ones with rhyme and meter, at which you excel more than most on this site. You have a keen sense of the music of words and know how to make the cadences flow with fine enjambement and apt pauses too, when needed, o that the meter does not feel forced...ever! Another huge plus is your inventive rhyming and slant rhyming too. LOVE the rhyme pairs in the first stanza, especially lines two and four:

I used to say, while driving Hollywood,
The 101 has every demographic--
The beauties--more in tune with looking good
Than fretting over stacked-up, backed-up traffic--


Love how this line sounds like the tone and tenor of what it depicts:

Those surfers--still so mellow when they drove--

Nice alliteration here:

The rappers and the rockers, who would blast

Great word choices--I can hear it!--
Their Blaupunkt systems as they honked and wove
Like demons with a soundtrack when they passed.

Great simile. LOL! So true and well voiced...made me laugh.

The nouveau riche -- in their Italian toys
Amid the older models past their primes
(Archaic cars that belched and bellowed noise (great line)
Like dinosaurs from prehistoric times).

LOVE the simile in above stanza. Very funny. Fine alliteration on A and P and B as well. nice subtle consonance of L in all lines.

The limousines would seem to stretch for years--
The pimped-up rides had chromed-out, spinning spokes
And rear-view mirrors decked with chandeliers.
The stoners rode in groups while sharing tokes.

Great rhymes, great descriptive (vivid); great alliteration on S and consonance of M, P, and R. Fine assonance of O, especially with rode and tokes...a near rhyme pair when read aloud.

I'd sit in gridlock, bored, and look around,
Observing others through surreal exhaust, (LOL!)
And think,(:) I wonder where you all are bound--
Am I the only fool who's truly lost?


LOl--fun ending.

Thanks for the chuckles.

Love,
rd


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Rama, for once again transporting me to the world of reader, away from writer, and giving me food for thought, and great input in every way. I truly appreciate it! David

reply by rama devi on 08-Mar-2014
    What a lovely response, dear David. I truly appreciate you too! Love, rd
Comment by
Kenneth Schaal
 
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I think this is the route I took to Chula Vista and San Luis Obispo, runs along the ocean. We discussed this once, I lived in Burbank for a while. Your description of the traffic is how I remember it. You must have been coming out from Los Angeles. First I was showed Hollywood--then North Hollywood, were most of the fame seekers ended up. We traveled the Hi-way counting the time and miles by how many beers we consumed during the trip. People stay lost there--and love it. Kenny


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
    It would probably have been, Kenny, but it may have been the PCL, or the 1, which is an incredible drive...the most scenic in the country, I think. I was, indeed, coming out of Hollywood, and headed to Burbank. Many thanks, as always, for your great thoughts.
Comment by
nancyjam
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Well you captured our LA freeways perfectly.
Excellent rhyme and meter as you expound
on the joys and sorrows of being stuck in traffic.
Terrific descriptive lines. It's gotten worse!


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, my friend! Ugh...worse?
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
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I can't relate to highways in general let alone a huge one on the west coast, but I get the point, and you've expressed it very well. I think everyone imagines that other people have it together, know what they're doing, don't make a mess of things or even fart. We think we're the only losers because they put on such a good show. But it's all a facade. They struggling too, a lot of them worse off than we are. Once you realize that, you have the advantage. :)


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks very much, my friend. As always, you make some good philosophical points, too.
Comment by
sunnilicious
 
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My friends were nuts for 90210. I was content with just watching the show. That Hollywood place appeals to me most.... Rodeo Drive. But Burbank?

Great look back. Good visual imagery of materialism. Creative. Expressive. Well thought out. Nicely written. Great.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thank you again, Sunni. I appreciate it.
Comment by
Dorothy Farrell
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Well written David and nice description of the different types and cars on Route 101, although this was the 90's you say. I've been to Hollywood, toured California a few years ago. Have no idea if I went on 101. But I do remember Route 66. Got quite excited and thought of Nat King Cole. I enjoyed your poem, gutsy and in perfect IP. Regards Dorothy


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, my friend. If you passed by the Hollywood Bowl, or if you accessed the freeway from Hollywood, you've been on it. Also, if you've driven from Hollywood to Burbank, too.
Comment by
andanfive
 
 
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good opening that draws the reader in, though some may not readily get the 101 is a road or highway. like the reference to women (men) who are primping, worried on their looks instead of worrying about the road.
describes the surfer dudes well (what we believe they are like) but never heard of Blaupunkt systems so assuming they are stereos and such.
the third stanza is great. love it.
the forth seems a little weak, but love the first sentence, the rest doesn't grab me.
the fifth is very good as we can all relate to being there. feel the emotions here.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks for the review. I think the picture pretty much cements that it's a road. I'm not sure why the fourth stanza is 'weaker' than the others, but I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment by
lakeport
 
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Lost Angelino, Holywood 101,indeed I remember the LA 101 freeway, always pumper to pumper traffic, I enjoyed reading your story poem, nice rhyming. God bless you. Lakeport.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks very much, lakeport. I think all who have been there remember it well. :-)

reply by lakeport on 07-Mar-2014
    your welcome. Lakeport.
Comment by
queenv
 
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Thanks for sharing a view of Hollywood through your eyes. I guess a Mississippian like myself who have never been would look upon this with fascination. Well written and thought provoking.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, queenv. Imagine me as a young North Carolinian when I got there. :) A fish out of water, indeed!
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King Wise
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