Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Flash Fiction
Deadline: Today!

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

Write A Script
Deadline: Sep 25th

ABC Poetry Contest
Deadline: Sep 30th

Haiku Poetry Contest
Deadline: Oct 6th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Ashe To Snow


Progress?

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  12
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  39
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Now this here is some fine Canadiana. It could be An Elegy to a War Time House OR Ode to a Backhoe. You find Kerouac's lines rangy? Interesting, I think he'd be pleased in a rambling kind of way. Ya, it's pretty sad when the people who once lived there can't go home, because no place is home any more. They should've at least given them some free gift certificates to Cup 'O Joe or something.

So where did the poor get shuffled off to? Under the bridge? How long is the strip mall going to be? Why do they call them strip malls when there's no strippers?

Vivid social commentary poem, here dear friend, David. I like it.

Gloria


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, my dear friend. Kerouac could certainly pave a road on some of his lines. I'm not sure they cared where the poor went, as long as they went.
Comment by
tfawcus
Level 3 Pro
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  65
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  24
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  47
 

#7 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Progress can be such a cruel event. The growling gods are no respecter of property, of memories, of lives lived in communities through thick and thin. All is swept away, as indeed we ourselves will one day be.


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend. You're so right!
Comment by
Walter L. Jones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
My dear friend, your verse turned loose a song in my head, I am sure it will play the rest of the day, Late last night
I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi
Come and took away my old man
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
'Til it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
Walt


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Many thanks, Walt, for your sixer, my friend, and the memory of the Joni song!
Comment by
Righteous Riter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Good use of the abcbacb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good alliteration with shotgun/shacks...sandwich/shops...construction/commence...growling/gods. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, RR.
Comment by
paulah60
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
'machines--like growling gods!' ... a great metaphor this one, which of course I would zero in on! The gods themselves would be growling at this example of depersonalization at its best (or worst). With the two-way communication between what's within our psyches, and our external environment, it's kind of scary to think about the state of our internal landscapes, if these complexes-on-steroids are the product of what's in there. We're depersonalizing ourselves, and in the process, we're desensitizing ourselves (or is it the other way round? Maybe both). Questionable progress indeed!

Good on you David for poeticising, and therefore, bringing to life things that most no longer react to. A powerful form of social commentary, particularly when it's done so well, as you do ;-)
Cheers
Paula



 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Love this review, Paula! Thank you SO much, my dear friend, for your incredible intuitive instincts, your way to express yourself, and for always knowing me so well. I value your thoughts.
Comment by
Donya Quijote
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is real good political and social commentary with a bit of satire. The story told reminded me of the town I grew in, Rockville, MD. It's a suburb of Washington, DC. It once had an old town, kind of a downtown area where the oldest buildings and houses were. One day the bulldozers came through and razed all to the ground except for one building, a working hardware store in a building of architectural importance. I think went there once with my dad when I was very young and very small. Now, that building is registered as historically important, but nothing else remains. We do such things to buildings, to parks, neighborhoods, to people. It is very sad.

Very poignant poem...


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend. It's so sad that we lose our physical history. Europe is much older, yet so much better at preserving history and architecture. I really appreciate your excellent thoughts! David
Comment by
michaelcahill
Level 1 Pro
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Reminds me of when they built Dodger Stadium and declared eminent domain and threw everyone out of a community. Not a good day to be poor. Chavez Ravine it was called. It always struck me that they never once mentioned a name that went with one of the displaced people. Always them or they. Love this piece that causes a smile and then a hand to cover it when the message follows. Well done. mikey


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, my friend. That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about, too, brother.
Comment by
Winslow
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  398
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  520
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Dear Marillon,

Great last line to conclude your poem. The neighborhood will be torn down to make way for commercialism. For we live in the day where money and greed are in control.

Warm regards,

Winslow


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Winslow!
Comment by
sunnilicious
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  201
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
And with sadness there is hope for the future. Industrialization makes memories of the past fade so quickly. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. You're so observant. Informative poem. Nice work.


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much for that sixer, my friend, and the great review. You 'get it'! David

reply by sunnilicious on 10-Mar-2014
    It goes well deserved. Enjoy.
Comment by
Bryana
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As I said before, I'm always amazed how you can take the unacceptable and mundane and describe it in a beautiful poem. I don't like what they are going to do to the neighborhood but I love your poem.
Have a wonderful evening.


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my dear friend. I really appreciate it.
  -1-  2 3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
A Cheesy Joke
Here is one of my fun poems; more fun poems to come


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy